HEAVEN — Representatives from the Pearly Gates have unveiled a special, exclusive VIP lounge for faithful believers who took the time each week to attend Wednesday night church services.

"We know it's hard to get your family to church in the middle of the week, and we think it's important to recognize that extra effort," said a spokesangel to reporters. "People who interrupt their busy schedules for mid-week life groups, youth events, and bible studies are just a higher class of believer and we want their stay here to be the best it can be."

At publishing time, Heaven had admitted that the lounge was mostly filled with Baptists.

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