New Boeing 737 Toy Features Wings That Really Fall Off (Satire)
The Babylon Bee - Mar 19th 2024 2:59pm EDTU.S. — A new airplane toy modeled after the Boeing 737 features “real in-flight damage” in which the jet’s wings really fall off.
Unborn Baby Terrified As Olivia Rodrigo Music Starts Playing (Satire)
The Babylon Bee - Mar 19th 2024 2:18pm EDTCHICAGO, IL — An unborn baby immediately began to panic after perceiving that outside the warm safety of her mother’s womb, her mother was dancing and singing along at the latest Olivia Rodrigo concert.
City Finally Gets 473rd Vape Shop It So Desperately Needed (Satire)
The Babylon Bee - Mar 19th 2024 12:22pm EDTANAHEIM, CA — Residents breathed a collective sigh of relief today as news broke that the city would finally be getting that 473rd vape shop it had so desperately needed.
Confused By Your Husband’s Cryptic Texts? Let The Babylon Bee Interpret Them For You (Satire)
The Babylon Bee - Mar 18th 2024 6:03pm EDTLadies, are you having a hard time knowing what your husbands’ text messages really mean? Men are complicated creatures, so our relationship experts conducted a study to translate man texts into lady English.
Ketanji Brown Jackson Warns Right To Free Speech Could Lead To People Speaking Freely (Satire)
The Babylon Bee - Mar 18th 2024 4:53pm EDTWASHINGTON, D.C. — With oral arguments taking place before the United States Supreme Court regarding online censorship, Justice Ketanji Brown Jackson issued a grave warning that the right to free speech would mean people could speak freely.
2Unhinged Trump Threatens More Violence By Promising To Trigger A ‘Landslide’ On Election Day (Satire)
The Babylon Bee - Mar 18th 2024 4:26pm EDTVANDALIA, OH — In another unhinged moment, former president Donald Trump vowed to supporters that he would trigger a “landslide” on election day.
FBI Arrests #1 Most Wanted Criminal Pepe The Frog (Satire)
The Babylon Bee - Mar 18th 2024 3:56pm EDTU.S. — After a national manhunt spanning all 50 states and several years, the DOJ has announced the arrest of its #1 most wanted criminal, Pepe the Frog.
All Murderers Released From Death Row After Biden Declares No One Is Illegal (Satire)
The Babylon Bee - Mar 18th 2024 3:13pm EDTWASHINTON, DC — In a stunning move from America’s criminal system, all murderers on death row have been released into the public following Presiden Biden’s declaration that ‘no human is illegal’.
Democrats Clarify They’re OK With A Bloodbath If It’s Just From Killing The Unborn (Satire)
The Babylon Bee - Mar 18th 2024 1:26pm EDTU.S. — In the wake of the controversy stirred up by former President Donald Trump’s use of the word “bloodbath,” Democrats issued a statement to clarify that they’re OK with a bloodbath as long as it’s just from killing unborn children.
Illegal Immigrants Politely Decline Free Flight On A Boeing (Satire)
The Babylon Bee - Mar 18th 2024 12:20pm EDTSAN ANTONIO, TX — Though the federal government made a generous offer to fly them to another city in the country to start a new life in the U.S., a group of illegal immigrants politely declined to receive a free flight on a Boeing airplane.
Google Gemini Wishes Everyone A Happy St. Patrick’s Day (Satire)
The Babylon Bee - Mar 17th 2024 5:48pm EDTWORLD — Google’s artificial intelligence system “Gemini” wished everyone a happy Saint Patrick’s Day today in its own unique way.
Media Reports Trump Threatened Nuclear War After He Says, ‘This Guacamole Is The Bomb!’ (Satire)
The Babylon Bee - Mar 17th 2024 2:41pm EDTU.S. — After former President Trump declared his freshly-made guacamole “the bomb”, media outlets across the nation announced that Trump had threatened to drop a nuclear bomb if he were to lose the election.
10 More Things Don Lemon Demanded From Elon Musk (Satire)
The Babylon Bee - Mar 16th 2024 2:31pm EDTAfter Don Lemon was fired from CNN and paid $24 million to never show his face again, Elon Musk graciously offered for Lemon to bring his face, along with a new show, to X. However, Lemon’s new show on X was canceled after a mere one episode, with news breaking that the disgraced journalist had […]
Demon Goes On Holy Pilgrimage To Satanic Temple (Satire)
The Babylon Bee - Mar 15th 2024 6:48pm EDTHeartwarming: These 9 Immigrants Tell Us Why They Came Over The Border (Satire)
The Babylon Bee - Mar 15th 2024 6:38pm EDTEvery news outlet is filled with horrifying accounts of the crisis at the southern border, but no one talks enough about the truly inspiring stories. With so much bad news being reported, it can be helpful to hear the positive side to get some perspective.
9 Lesser-Known Facts About Saint Patrick (Satire)
The Babylon Bee - Mar 15th 2024 6:09pm EDTMost people know the story about how Saint Patrick drove all of the snakes out of Ireland after treating them to a night of heavy drinking. But here at the Bee, our historical scholars dug deep to uncover some fascinating lesser-known facts about his life:
‘Well Done, My Good And Faithful Servant’: Satan Welcomes Man Who Knocked On Public Bathroom Doors Throughout His Time On Earth (Satire)
The Babylon Bee - Mar 15th 2024 6:06pm EDTHELL-The Prince Of Darkness welcomed a man to Hell this week who spent a good portion of his time on earth knocking on public bathroom stall doors to see if they were occupied.
Report: Women Be Shoppin’ (Satire)
The Babylon Bee - Mar 15th 2024 6:01pm EDTU.S. — A new study provided an important update regarding ongoing activities across the country, with conclusive results indicating that women be shoppin’.
Matt Walsh Blasts Video Games As ‘Childish, Pointless Drivel’ After Son Beats Him In Mario Kart (Satire)
The Babylon Bee - Mar 15th 2024 5:59pm EDTNASHVILLE, TN — Conservative personality Matt Walsh sparked a frenzy online this week when it was revealed he only hates video games because his son beat him at Mario Kart.
James O’Keefe Clarifies He Whispered ‘No Homo’ After Everything He Said On Undercover Gay Date (Satire)
The Babylon Bee - Mar 15th 2024 4:34pm EDTNEW YORK, NY — As controversy swirls in the aftermath of his latest hidden camera sting operation, investigative journalist James O’Keefe clarified that he whispered “no homo” after everything he said while on his undercover gay date.
How 13 Different News Outlets Covered Elon Musk’s Successful SpaceX Launch (Satire)
The Babylon Bee - Mar 14th 2024 7:37pm EDTA new step toward the future of mankind was taken this week following another successful launch from SpaceX. As with other major news stories, it can be interesting and informative to see how it was covered by different media outlets.
Canadian Supreme Court Rules ‘Justin Trudeau’ Is An Outdated Term And Should Instead Be Referred To As ‘Person With A Vagina’ (Satire)
The Babylon Bee - Mar 14th 2024 6:32pm EDTOTTAWA — In a groundbreaking decision that sent ripples across the geopolitical landscape, the Canadian Supreme Court has ruled that the term “Justin Trudeau” is outdated and should instead be replaced with the more inclusive term, “Person With A Vagina.”
Is Your Man Thinking About ‘Dune’? 11 Signs To Look For (Satire)
The Babylon Bee - Mar 14th 2024 5:39pm EDTLadies, we’ve all been there; you’re trying to spend time with your man but his mind is clearly elsewhere. Why isn’t he staring at you at this exact moment in time? Could it be Dune: Part Two?
Progressive Kids Play Classic Game Of ‘Smear The Oppressive Patriarchal Colonialists Who Perpetuate Cis-Whitness And Literal Violence Against Indigenous People Groups And The LGBTQIAA++ Community’ (Satire)
The Babylon Bee - Mar 14th 2024 2:09pm EDTMINNEAPOLIS, MN — Just in time for spring, neighborhood kids were seen playing the classic game of “Smear The Oppressive Patriarchal Colonialists Who Perpetuate Cis-Whitness And Literal Violence Against Indigenous People Groups And The LGBTQIAA++ Community” in local parks and on quiet cul-de-sacs.
New Greta Thunberg GPS Lectures You When Refusing More Eco-Friendly Route (Satire)
The Babylon Bee - Mar 14th 2024 2:08pm EDTU.S. — As navigation apps continue to move toward offering more environmentally conscious travel options, a newly unveiled Greta Thunberg GPS features stern lectures any time users refuse to choose more eco-friendly routes.