'Ladies And Gentlemen, We Got Him,' Announces FBI After Killer Turns Himself In (Satire)

Sep 12th 2025 4:33pm EDT

SALT LAKE CITY, UT — Officials from the Federal Bureau of Investigation held a congratulatory press conference on Friday to notify the public that the agency had successfully apprehended the man suspected of murdering conservative activist Charlie Kirk after the shooter turned himself in.

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