Man Torn Between Working From Home And Being Interrupted By Kids And Working At Office And Being Interrupted By Coworkers (Satire)
The Babylon Bee - Oct 3rd 2024 5:52pm EDTIRVINE, CA — A local man found himself at a crossroads today, as he was torn between working from home and being interrupted by his kids and working at the office and being interrupted by his coworkers.
Can You Spot All The Signs Of Toxic Masculinity In This Picture Of JD Vance? (Satire)
The Babylon Bee - Oct 3rd 2024 5:20pm EDTJournalists and social media users were abuzz this week following the vice presidential debate, with people offering fascinating insights into the body language, facial expressions, and other characteristics of the candidates.
Ron Paul Decorates For Halloween By Putting Spooky National Debt Counter In Front Yard (Satire)
The Babylon Bee - Oct 3rd 2024 4:58pm EDTLAKE JACKSON, TX — Libertarian and conservative families alike who live near former congressman Ron Paul were shocked and horrified to see the national debt counter that he had placed in his front yard as a spooky Halloween decoration.
FEMA Reports They Spent All The Taxpayer Funding On A Sweet PowerPoint Presentation About Racial Equity (Satire)
The Babylon Bee - Oct 3rd 2024 3:49pm EDTASHEVILLE, NC — Official sources within the Federal Emergency Management Agency were disappointed to inform victims of Hurricane Helene that the government agency was unable to offer them any taxpayer funding, as it had spent it all on a PowerPoint presentation about racial equity.
Ayatollah Frantically Googles ‘How To Build Iron Dome Thingy FAST’ (Satire)
The Babylon Bee - Oct 3rd 2024 3:00pm EDTTEHRAN — After watching his missile bombardment of Israel fail to yield the results he had hoped for, Iranian Supreme Leader Ayatollah Ali Khamenei frantically googled “how to build iron dome thingy FAST.”
Tim Walz Polling Strong Among Men Who Choose Middle Urinal (Satire)
The Babylon Bee - Oct 3rd 2024 2:31pm EDTU.S. — With little over a month left before election day, results of a new national survey showed Minnesota Governor Tim Walz polling strongly among men who choose to use the middle urinal in men’s rooms.
Are You An Unathletic Oaf Who Gets Winded Going Up A Single Flight Of Stairs? Why Pickleball Might Be For You (Satire)
The Babylon Bee - Oct 3rd 2024 12:38pm EDTU.S. — Athletic contests aren’t just for athletes anymore. There’s a fun new sport sweeping the nation, and it’s perfect for just about anyone who’s ever gotten winded walking up a single flight of stairs.
North Carolina Asks Zelensky For $100 Billion In U.S. Funding (Satire)
The Babylon Bee - Oct 3rd 2024 11:39am EDTRALEIGH, NC — With civilians working hard to rescue their neighbors along the path of devastation left behind by Hurricane Helene and FEMA revealing a lack of available money, the state of North Carolina asked Ukrainian President Volodymyr Zelensky for $100 Billion in U.S. funding.
Kid Cleverly Waits Until Bedtime Before Asking Dad To Explain The Trinity (Satire)
The Babylon Bee - Oct 2nd 2024 4:30pm EDTOMAHA, NE — Local father Sam Libert was tricked into keeping his children up far too late last night after his kids cleverly waited until bedtime to ask him to explain the Trinity.
Kamala Campaign Quietly Cancels Release Of New ‘Doug’ Wife Beater (Satire)
The Babylon Bee - Oct 2nd 2024 3:27pm EDTWASHINTON, DC — In an awkward turn of events, Presidential candidate Kamala Harris quietly canceled the release of wife-beater tank tops featuring her husband’s image after revelations that he was, in fact, a woman-beater.
Harris Supporters Trying To Figure Out How To Convert Joy Into Groceries (Satire)
The Babylon Bee - Oct 2nd 2024 3:04pm EDTU.S. — As November’s hotly contested presidential election draws near, supporters of Vice President Kamala Harris were reportedly trying to figure out how they were supposed to convert their joy into groceries.
18 More Historical Events Tim Walz Has Claimed To Be At (Satire)
The Babylon Bee - Oct 2nd 2024 2:55pm EDTBy now you’ve heard that Tim Walz literally stood in front of a tank in Tiananmen Square, but that’s not the only iconic moment the governor has been present for! Here are eight other historical events Walz has claimed to be at:
Walz Clarifies That He Meant The ‘Tiananmen Square Chinese Buffet’ In Omaha, Nebraska (Satire)
The Babylon Bee - Oct 2nd 2024 2:12pm EDTNEW YORK — Vice Presidential candidate Tim Walz explained that he misspoke when previously claiming he was present at the Tiananmen Square Massacre in China, clarifying he was actually at the Tiananmen Square Chinese Buffet in Omaha, Nebraska.
MAD Money: Jim Cramer Predicts White Sox Will Win The World Series (Satire)
The Babylon Bee - Oct 2nd 2024 2:01pm EDTNEW YORK, NY — In yet another stunning but controversial prediction, host of CNBC’s Mad Money, Jim Cramer boldly declared that the Chicago White Sox are his insider pick to win the 2024 World Series.
DOJ Indicts JD Vance For Brutally Beating 3 Women (Satire)
The Babylon Bee - Oct 2nd 2024 12:25pm EDTNEW YORK, NY — The excited mood among Republicans following last night’s vice presidential debate was quickly squelched by the breaking news that the Department of Justice had indicted Ohio Senator J.D. Vance for brutally beating three women.
School Shooters Distance Themselves From Tim Walz (Satire)
The Babylon Bee - Oct 2nd 2024 11:06am EDTU.S. — After Minnesota Governor and U.S. Vice Presidential candidate Tim Walz claimed he was friends with them in Tuesday night’s debate, school shooters across the nation were quick to distance themselves from “that total weirdo.”
School Shooters Distance Themselves From Tim Walz (Satire)
The Babylon Bee - Oct 2nd 2024 11:06am EDTU.S. — After Minnesota Governor and U.S. Vice Presidential candidate Tim Walz claimed he was friends with them in Tuesday night’s debate, school shooters across the nation were quick to distance themselves from “that total weirdo.”
Nation In Awe Kamala Harris Managed To Find Running Mate Dumber Than She Is (Satire)
The Babylon Bee - Oct 1st 2024 10:30pm EDTAmericans On Edge Of Their Seats As Two Men Battle For Most Useless Position In Government (Satire)
The Babylon Bee - Oct 1st 2024 10:17pm EDT8 Bible Stories As YouTube Clickbait Videos (Satire)
The Babylon Bee - Oct 1st 2024 6:39pm EDTThe Bible is great and all the way it is, but as everyone has seen proven time and time again, YouTube just makes everything better. Even the most exciting and fascinating Bible stories get taken to another level with a killer YouTube clickbait video.
‘VeggieTales’ Introduces New Evil Villain Matt Squash (Satire)
The Babylon Bee - Oct 1st 2024 3:04pm EDTUNIVERSAL CITY, CA — Fans of the popular animated Christian children’s series were excited by the promise of new adventures, as the makers of VeggieTales announced the introduction of a new evil villain character named “Matt Squash.”
‘VeggieTales’ Introduces New Evil Villain Matt Squash (Satire)
The Babylon Bee - Oct 1st 2024 3:04pm EDTUNIVERSAL CITY, CA — Fans of the popular animated Christian children’s series were excited by the promise of new adventures, as the makers of VeggieTales announced the introduction of a new evil villain character named “Matt Squash.”
Tim Walz’s 7 Debate Demands (Satire)
The Babylon Bee - Oct 1st 2024 2:38pm EDTThe Babylon Bee has obtained a list of demands Minnesota Governor Tim Walz wrote on a napkin as part of his conditions to participate in tonight’s vice presidential debate against JD Vance. As is common practice, debate participants must agree on the rules ahead of the debate. It is currently unknown which, if any, of […]
JD Vance’s 7 Debate Demands Revealed (Satire)
The Babylon Bee - Oct 1st 2024 2:11pm EDTThe Babylon Bee has obtained a list of demands submitted by Ohio senator and Republican vice presidential candidate JD Vance ahead of tonight’s vice presidential debate against Tim Walz.
Megachurch Pastor Given Shack In Heaven While Small-Church Pastor Of 50 Years Gets To Live In The Avengers Tower (Satire)
The Babylon Bee - Oct 1st 2024 1:52pm EDTHEAVEN — Celestial sources shed light on the eternal rewards of two pastors yesterday, confirming that Frank Linderson, the pastor of a congregation of 40 people for over half a century was welcomed into Heaven’s Avengers Tower while Brad Neil, who had been a megachurch pastor for six years, was given his very own celestial […]