U.S. — Entertainment fanatics will soon have something revolutionary to look forward to, as an awesome new streaming service will record movie streams onto shiny discs and give consumers the opportunity to buy them and own them forever.
U.S. — In a startling turn of events, experts confirmed a statement made by Billie Eilish at the Grammys when she said that no one is illegal on stolen land. However, the experts did make a specific exception singling out Jeff.
Stolen land is all the rage in the news lately. These days, everyone gets a free pass to do as many fun crimes as they want on land swiped from indigenous peoples, as long as they keep pointing out that the land was stolen.
ANAHEIM, CA — A stupid kid visiting Disneyland in a “Hakuna Matata” shirt didn’t seem to realize that, in the context of the film The Lion King, the “Hakuna Matata” song, in its proper context, was communicating that living a hedonistic lifestyle is an abdication of one’s God-given duty and higher purposes while barbarians usurped […]
LOS ANGELES, CA — The entertainment industry was sent abuzz over the weekend after a guy at the Grammys kept saying “Jesus” but did not appear to be using it as a curse word.
NEW YORK, NY — Actor Peter Dinklage was reportedly a wee bit annoyed and expressed slight disappointment that he received little praise from the general public after taking a short time to recite a small poem at an anti-ICE protest over the weekend.
NEW YORK, NY — Actor Peter Dinklage was reportedly a wee bit annoyed and expressed slight disappointment that he received little praise from the general public after taking a short time to recite a small poem at an anti-ICE protest over the weekend.
NEW YORK, NY — Actor Peter Dinklage was reportedly a wee bit annoyed and expressed slight disappointment that he received little praise from the general public after taking a short time to recite a small poem at an anti-ICE protest over the weekend.
WASHINGTON, D.C. — A tearful President Trump has reportedly issued a halt on all deportations and ordered the immediate withdraw of ICE from Minnesota after witnessing celebrities wear pins that said “ICE OUT” during the Grammys.
U.S. — What had been expected to be a delightful lunch was thrown into chaos and threatened to destroy an entire day, as a local man’s sandwich was completely ruined after not being cut into triangles.
U.S. — What had been expected to be a delightful lunch was thrown into chaos and threatened to destroy an entire day, as a local man’s sandwich was completely ruined after not being cut into triangles.
U.S. — The political system in the United States took a sharp turn away from addressing practical issues facing the nation, as both the Republican and Democratic party platforms were replaced with lists of people they would arrest.
SACRAMENTO, CA — Governor Newsom announced today that construction has wrapped on the long anticipated high speed rail project, finally connecting his house directly to the French Laundry.
ARVADA, CO — Local dad Craig Smith has spent the past year fervently praying that his daughter Claire will get a decent case of acne from age 14 until about 23.
U.S. — A new report out of Harvard University indicated that zucchini actually isn’t that bad after covering it with flour or cornmeal and a lot of seasoning and frying all the taste out of it in hot oil.
U.S. — Self-proclaimed journalist Don Lemon was arrested on Friday for allegedly raiding a church service and intimidating its congregation, prompting experts to warn that such actions taken by the DOJ could be a slippery slope that leads to arresting politicians and other people who deserve it.
LOS ANGELES, CA — A movie studio with access to the entire collected works of humanity for use in its film adaptations reportedly opted to make yet another Spider-Man movie instead, sources revealed.
WASHINGTON, D.C. — In a surprise choice to succeed Jerome Powell when his term expired in the spring, President Donald Trump nominated an unknown Spanish economist named Ronaldo Paulino as chairman of the Federal Reserve.
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