WASHINGTON, D.C. — In response to years of sharp criticism from the legendary music icon, President Donald Trump demanded to see Bruce Springsteen’s birth certificate to prove he was born in the U.S.A.
WORLD — World leaders condemned today’s declaration by President Donald Trump imposing a 50% tariff on imports from the European Union, asserting that it was a blatant display of Islamaphobia.
If you’ve been keeping up with the news for the past few years, you’ve certainly come across concerns about the things that A.I. could do. For instance, it’s very possible that the powerful new A.I. language models could put artists, actors, and writers out of a job. But on the other hand, it could do […]
WASHINGTON, D.C. — A man arrested outside the Capital Jewish Museum in the downtown area reportedly sought to clarify that he was under the impression that the slogan “Free Palestine” really just means that Palestinians should be “free” to kill all the Jews.
NEWPORT BEACH, CA — Local man Harold Dermott initially struggled to access his Gmail on Friday, but after correctly guessing his password on his third try, now considers himself a bona fide hacker.
WASHINGTON, D.C. — In yet another stage in the escalating trade conflict with China, President Donald Trump issued a statement insisting that the next Chinese pandemic be made in America.
FORT WORTH, TX — Local wife and mother Sienna Danner already has a collection of 70 Stanley tumblers, but expressed confidence that just one more might be exactly what she needed to fill the God-shaped hole in her heart.
PEARLY GATES — According to Heavenly sources, Saint Peter had an unexpected run-in this week with a self-proclaimed Christian nationalist, who asked the apostle to kindly direct him to the “whites-only” section of Heaven.
ANNOUNCEMENT: The Babylon Bee is no longer a satire website. After months of strategy meetings and lots of thinking really hard, we have decided to pivot to becoming a full-service restaurant empire. In light of this change, all our writers and other staffers will now be known as “waiters”, “busboys”, and “food-making guys,” and will […]
WASHINGTON, D.C., EARTH 741 — Recently obtained reports indicated that, somewhere in a parallel universe, President of the United States Ron Paul was currently overseeing the dawn of America’s next golden age.
DENVER, CO — What had already been an abysmal start to the 2025 season reached a new low last night, as the struggling Colorado Rockies lost to the Savannah Bananas by a final score of 57-0.
PROVO, UT — A local member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, Brigham Smith, reportedly faked his own death in hopes of getting someone to bring him a pan of delicious Mormon Funeral Potatoes.
GREENVILLE, DE — Following the recent announcement of Joe Biden’s stage 4 prostate cancer diagnosis, sources reported that Biden family members had grown increasingly worried that they were running out of time to exploit the former president.
GREENVILLE, DE — Following the recent announcement of Joe Biden’s stage 4 prostate cancer diagnosis, sources reported that Biden family members had grown increasingly worried that they were running out of time to exploit the former president.
MERIDIAN, MI — A new streaming service designed for the more conservative and legalistic members of the Churches of Christ was announced Wednesday that would use artificial intelligence to digitally remove musical instruments from popular movies and TV shows.
MERIDIAN, MI — A new streaming service designed for the more conservative and legalistic members of the Churches of Christ was announced Wednesday that would use artificial intelligence to digitally remove musical instruments from popular movies and TV shows.
MERIDIAN, MI — A new streaming service designed for the more conservative and legalistic members of the Churches of Christ was announced Wednesday that would use artificial intelligence to digitally remove musical instruments from popular movies and TV shows.
WASHINGTON, D.C. — Embattled after a difficult first several months of 2025, Democrats were reported to be considering a brilliant new strategy of complaining loudly every day about President Donald Trump.
The First Amendment protects most forms of speech. But did you know that there are certain things even the Constitution does not allow? It’s true. Here are 11 statements that can get you in trouble with the law:
WASHINGTON, D.C. — White House aides were reportedly caught off guard today as President Donald Trump abruptly dimmed the lights in the Oval Office and forced the visiting South African president to watch the entirety of Home Alone 2: Lost in New York.
If you’re having trouble feeling confident about your abilities, do yourself a favor and check out this total loser who completely failed at his job 7 out of every 10 times he tried to do it. Talk about the perfect example of ineptitude and incompetence.
WASHINGTON, D.C. — As debate continued over President Donald Trump’s “big, beautiful bill,” the United States Congress was said to be split between those who want to spend a ridiculous amount of money and those who want to spend an even more ridiculous amount of money.
IRVINE, CA — Local Associate Pastor Mark Sullivan took a leave of absence following a disastrous Sunday service in which he presented a message that mistakenly included his prompts to ChatGPT asking it to write his sermon for him.
- Apr 19th 2025 11:19am EDT