HEAVEN — Old habits from life on Earth seemed to be challenging to break, as reports from Heaven indicated that Saint Peter was seen trying to explain to John the Baptist that he didn’t have to eat bugs anymore.
HEAVEN — Old habits from life on Earth seemed to be challenging to break, as reports from Heaven indicated that Saint Peter was seen trying to explain to John the Baptist that he didn’t have to eat bugs anymore.
Bad Bunny broke down barriers at this year’s Super Bowl by putting on a show that only 15% of the viewing audience could understand, which has people wondering how the NFL will follow it up.
Bad Bunny broke down barriers at this year’s Super Bowl by putting on a show that only 15% of the viewing audience could understand, which has people wondering how the NFL will follow it up.
Bad Bunny broke down barriers at this year’s Super Bowl by putting on a show that only 15% of the viewing audience could understand, which has people wondering how the NFL will follow it up.
U.S. — In an effort to expand the global market for American football, the National Football League announced on Tuesday that next year’s Super Bowl halftime show would be performed entirely in Sindarin Elvish.
RICHMOND, VA — In a blatant and callous display of colonialism, local wife Jennifer Carlin refused to return the land she stole from her husband John’s side of the bed last night.
CORTINA D’AMPEZZO — After suffering a nasty fall on the slopes during the women’s downhill competition, American skier Lindsey Vonn announced that she had joined the U.S. Paralympics team.
EDINA, MN — An alarming new study of Minnesota schools revealed that the average Somali high school senior is only committing fraud at a 5th-grade level.
EDINA, MN — An alarming new study of Minnesota schools revealed that the average Somali high school senior is only committing fraud at a 5th-grade level.
MILANO — The United States Ski Team showed exceptional teamwork this week, as they secured victory in the Synchronized Screaming About Trump event, just barely beating out Iran to win the gold.
U.S. — Researchers at the nation’s leading pharmaceutical companies are reportedly having second thoughts about their manufacturing methods for antidepressants, wondering if perhaps they should come up with a pill whose first side effect isn’t “severe thoughts of suicide”.
ROCHESTER, MN — The relationship between Dave Fromm and his daughter Lucille may have been irreparably annihilated, but at least the math homework is finally finished, say sources close to the situation.
BOLZANO — The Galactic Empire was met with collective disappointment in its first chance at bringing home a medal at the 2026 Milano-Cortina Winter Olympic Games, as an Imperial stormtrooper once again finished dead last in the qualifying round of the men’s biathlon.
BOLZANO — The Galactic Empire was met with collective disappointment in its first chance at bringing home a medal at the 2026 Milano-Cortina Winter Olympic Games, as an Imperial stormtrooper once again finished dead last in the qualifying round of the men’s biathlon.
TOKYO — A new page in history was turned in the Far East this week, with the newly elected Japanese prime minister Sanae Takaichi winning a landslide victory after promising to introduce forks.
SANTA CLARA, CA — A key part of New England’s team experienced deep disappointment this morning, as the Patriots’ offensive line learned that the Super Bowl was yesterday.
SANTA CLARA, CA – Following this year’s Super Bowl halftime show featuring the musical stylings of Bad Bunny, surveys show support for Immigration and Customs Enforcement skyrocketed 99 percent overnight.
U.S. — The Babylon Bee has announced that it will also be hosting an “even more patriotic” alternative halftime show, which will feature Supreme Court Justice Clarence Thomas standing there while reading the Constitution.
OMAHA, NE — After wrapping up this morning’s sermon, local Pastor Scott Denison headed to the booth as he anxiously awaited his scores from the judges.
OMAHA, NE — After wrapping up this morning’s sermon, local Pastor Scott Denison headed to the booth as he anxiously awaited his scores from the judges.
NEW YORK CITY — A new champion has been crowned in the Westminster Dog Show, with a pit bull named “Slayer” winning by default after killing all of the other contestants.
