Refresh Icon
Dissent Watch

The Web's Most Forbidden News

Trending Authors Contact Us
Column 1 Column 2 Column 3

News From The Babylon Bee

RSS
  • Trump Demands To See Bruce Springsteen’s Birth Certificate To Prove He Was Born In The U.S.A. (Satire)

    The Babylon Bee - May 23rd 2025 4:49pm EDT

    WASHINGTON, D.C. — In response to years of sharp criticism from the legendary music icon, President Donald Trump demanded to see Bruce Springsteen’s birth certificate to prove he was born in the U.S.A.

    1
  • Trump’s 50% Tariff on European Union Decried as ‘Islamophobic’ (Satire)

    The Babylon Bee - May 23rd 2025 4:23pm EDT

    WORLD — World leaders condemned today’s declaration by President Donald Trump imposing a 50% tariff on imports from the European Union, asserting that it was a blatant display of Islamaphobia.

  • Why Does Ed Sheeran Look Like That? We Present Our Best Theories (Satire)

    The Babylon Bee - May 23rd 2025 4:13pm EDT

    Ballad singer Ed Sheeran is known for his romantic and suggestive songs, but why does he look like that? This question has puzzled people for years.

    1
  • Opinion: A.I. Could Put Artists, Actors, and Writers Out of Jobs, But It Could Do Bad Things As Well (Satire)

    The Babylon Bee - May 23rd 2025 3:55pm EDT

    If you’ve been keeping up with the news for the past few years, you’ve certainly come across concerns about the things that A.I. could do. For instance, it’s very possible that the powerful new A.I. language models could put artists, actors, and writers out of a job. But on the other hand, it could do […]

  • Man Clarifies That ‘Free Palestine’ Means Palestinians Should Be Free To Kill The Jews (Satire)

    The Babylon Bee - May 23rd 2025 3:41pm EDT

    WASHINGTON, D.C. — A man arrested outside the Capital Jewish Museum in the downtown area reportedly sought to clarify that he was under the impression that the slogan “Free Palestine” really just means that Palestinians should be “free” to kill all the Jews.

  • Man Considers Himself A Hacker After Guessing His Own Gmail Password On 3rd Try (Satire)

    The Babylon Bee - May 23rd 2025 1:52pm EDT

    NEWPORT BEACH, CA — Local man Harold Dermott initially struggled to access his Gmail on Friday, but after correctly guessing his password on his third try, now considers himself a bona fide hacker.

  • Trump Insists Next Chinese Pandemic Must Be Made In America (Satire)

    The Babylon Bee - May 23rd 2025 1:26pm EDT

    WASHINGTON, D.C. — In yet another stage in the escalating trade conflict with China, President Donald Trump issued a statement insisting that the next Chinese pandemic be made in America.

  • Wife Confident Just One More Stanley Cup Will Fill God-Shaped Hole In Her Heart (Satire)

    The Babylon Bee - May 23rd 2025 12:06pm EDT

    FORT WORTH, TX — Local wife and mother Sienna Danner already has a collection of 70 Stanley tumblers, but expressed confidence that just one more might be exactly what she needed to fill the God-shaped hole in her heart.

  • Christian Nationalist Asks St. Peter To Direct Him To ‘Whites-Only’ Section Of Heaven (Satire)

    The Babylon Bee - May 22nd 2025 5:23pm EDT

    PEARLY GATES — According to Heavenly sources, Saint Peter had an unexpected run-in this week with a self-proclaimed Christian nationalist, who asked the apostle to kindly direct him to the “whites-only” section of Heaven.

  • Announcement: The Babylon Bee Is Now A Full-Service Restaurant And All Our Writers Are Compensated Entirely With Tips (Satire)

    The Babylon Bee - May 22nd 2025 4:10pm EDT

    ANNOUNCEMENT: The Babylon Bee is no longer a satire website. After months of strategy meetings and lots of thinking really hard, we have decided to pivot to becoming a full-service restaurant empire. In light of this change, all our writers and other staffers will now be known as “waiters”, “busboys”, and “food-making guys,” and will […]

  • Report: Somewhere In Alternate Universe President Ron Paul Overseeing America’s Next Golden Age (Satire)

    The Babylon Bee - May 22nd 2025 4:04pm EDT

    WASHINGTON, D.C., EARTH 741 — Recently obtained reports indicated that, somewhere in a parallel universe, President of the United States Ron Paul was currently overseeing the dawn of America’s next golden age.

    1
  • Colorado Rockies Lose To Savannah Bananas 57-0 (Satire)

    The Babylon Bee - May 22nd 2025 3:02pm EDT

    DENVER, CO — What had already been an abysmal start to the 2025 season reached a new low last night, as the struggling Colorado Rockies lost to the Savannah Bananas by a final score of 57-0.

  • Mormon Fakes Own Death So Everyone Will Make Funeral Potatoes (Satire)

    The Babylon Bee - May 22nd 2025 12:52pm EDT

    PROVO, UT — A local member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, Brigham Smith, reportedly faked his own death in hopes of getting someone to bring him a pan of delicious Mormon Funeral Potatoes.

  • We’re Launching A Streaming Platform And We Want Our Subscribers To Give It A Spin! (Satire)

    The Babylon Bee - May 22nd 2025 12:50pm EDT

    THE THING YOU HAVEN’T BEEN WAITING FOR IS FINALLY HERE!

  • Biden Family Worried They May Be Running Out Of Time To Exploit Joe (Satire)

    The Babylon Bee - May 22nd 2025 12:24pm EDT

    GREENVILLE, DE — Following the recent announcement of Joe Biden’s stage 4 prostate cancer diagnosis, sources reported that Biden family members had grown increasingly worried that they were running out of time to exploit the former president.

  • Biden Family Worried They May Be Running Out Of Time To Exploit Joe (Satire)

    The Babylon Bee - May 22nd 2025 12:24pm EDT

    GREENVILLE, DE — Following the recent announcement of Joe Biden’s stage 4 prostate cancer diagnosis, sources reported that Biden family members had grown increasingly worried that they were running out of time to exploit the former president.

  • New Streaming Service For Church Of Christ Members Filters Out All Musical Instruments (Satire)

    The Babylon Bee - May 22nd 2025 11:31am EDT

    MERIDIAN, MI — A new streaming service designed for the more conservative and legalistic members of the Churches of Christ was announced Wednesday that would use artificial intelligence to digitally remove musical instruments from popular movies and TV shows.

  • New Streaming Service For Church Of Christ Members Filters Out All Musical Instruments (Satire)

    The Babylon Bee - May 22nd 2025 11:31am EDT

    MERIDIAN, MI — A new streaming service designed for the more conservative and legalistic members of the Churches of Christ was announced Wednesday that would use artificial intelligence to digitally remove musical instruments from popular movies and TV shows.

  • New Streaming Service For Church Of Christ Members Filters Out All Musical Instruments (Satire)

    The Babylon Bee - May 22nd 2025 11:31am EDT

    MERIDIAN, MI — A new streaming service designed for the more conservative and legalistic members of the Churches of Christ was announced Wednesday that would use artificial intelligence to digitally remove musical instruments from popular movies and TV shows.

  • Democrats Considering New Strategy Of Complaining Loudly Every Day About Trump (Satire)

    The Babylon Bee - May 22nd 2025 11:17am EDT

    WASHINGTON, D.C. — Embattled after a difficult first several months of 2025, Democrats were reported to be considering a brilliant new strategy of complaining loudly every day about President Donald Trump.

  • 11 Statements That Are Not Protected By The First Amendment (Satire)

    The Babylon Bee - May 21st 2025 5:02pm EDT

    The First Amendment protects most forms of speech. But did you know that there are certain things even the Constitution does not allow? It’s true. Here are 11 statements that can get you in trouble with the law:

  • Trump Forces South African President To Watch Entirety Of ‘Home Alone 2’ (Satire)

    The Babylon Bee - May 21st 2025 4:26pm EDT

    WASHINGTON, D.C. — White House aides were reportedly caught off guard today as President Donald Trump abruptly dimmed the lights in the Oval Office and forced the visiting South African president to watch the entirety of Home Alone 2: Lost in New York.

  • Get A Load Of This FAILURE Of A Baseball Player Who Couldn’t Hit The Ball Almost 70% Of The Time (Satire)

    The Babylon Bee - May 21st 2025 3:05pm EDT

    If you’re having trouble feeling confident about your abilities, do yourself a favor and check out this total loser who completely failed at his job 7 out of every 10 times he tried to do it. Talk about the perfect example of ineptitude and incompetence.

  • Congress Split Between Those Who Want To Spend A Ridiculous Amount And Those Who Want To Spend An Even More Ridiculous Amount (Satire)

    The Babylon Bee - May 21st 2025 2:46pm EDT

    WASHINGTON, D.C. — As debate continued over President Donald Trump’s “big, beautiful bill,” the United States Congress was said to be split between those who want to spend a ridiculous amount of money and those who want to spend an even more ridiculous amount of money.

  • Oops: Pastor Accidentally Includes ChatGPT Prompts From When He Asked It To Write His Sermon (Satire)

    The Babylon Bee - May 21st 2025 2:22pm EDT

    IRVINE, CA — Local Associate Pastor Mark Sullivan took a leave of absence following a disastrous Sunday service in which he presented a message that mistakenly included his prompts to ChatGPT asking it to write his sermon for him.

Featured News

  • What is Fluoride? (Ep. 161)
    What is Fluoride? (Ep. 161)Irida TV
    - Apr 19th 2025 11:19am EDT

Posts pagination

1 2 … 244 >

Icons by Flaticon

Privacy Policy