U.S. — Prince Harry has begged for ICE to please deport him to Guantanamo Bay, offering to commit whatever crime is necessary to warrant his immediate detention and expulsion.
U.S. — Americans are begging the now-famous security guard who stood up to screeching Democrats to please always follow Congress around to keep them from going anywhere or doing anything ever.
WASHINGTON, D.C. — Amid the new heightened scrutiny on government spending, Democrats assured Americans that the millions of dollars in USAID funding that they gave to the terrorist group Hamas was only going toward promoting gay stuff.
WASHINGTON, D.C. — Amid the new heightened scrutiny on government spending, Democrats assured Americans that the millions of dollars in USAID funding that they gave to the terrorist group Hamas was only going toward promoting gay stuff.
FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE — The Babylon Bee would like to formally announce that it is willing to promote any and all U.S. government causes for the low price of $34 million. This marks a stark change from the previous company policy of mercilessly making fun of the government.
BURGER KING CASTLE — The Burger King issued an edict from his throne this week and urged senators to vote against confirming Robert F. Kennedy Jr. as Secretary of Health and Human Services.
WASHINGTON, D.C. — Politicians who represent the country with record illiteracy expressed worry about what might happen if the education system responsible for making everyone illiterate were reformed.
WASHINGTON, D.C. — Politicians who represent the country with record illiteracy expressed worry about what might happen if the education system responsible for making everyone illiterate were reformed.
The Trump administration’s Department of Government Efficiency has been on the warpath against federal waste and turning over every seedy rock to shed light on inefficiencies in our nation’s agencies and institutions. Government computer systems are no exception.
The Trump administration’s Department of Government Efficiency has been on the warpath against federal waste and turning over every seedy rock to shed light on inefficiencies in our nation’s agencies and institutions. Government computer systems are no exception.
The Trump administration’s Department of Government Efficiency has been on the warpath against federal waste and turning over every seedy rock to shed light on inefficiencies in our nation’s agencies and institutions. Government computer systems are no exception.
CINCINNATI, OH — St. Arthwyn’s Episcopal Church of Cincinnati has just expanded its discipleship offerings with 327 new Bible study groups for all the different genders that constitute the parish’s laity.
WASHINGTON, D.C. — The senate was forced to delay further confirmation votes for Trump’s cabinet this week, clarifying that all votes would go ahead as planned once Mitch McConnell unfreezes again.
ROCHESTER, MN — Business could finally get done after a local man who works from home was finally ready to start his workday now that his wife and kids had all gone to bed for the night.
LOS ANGELES, CA — Questions about his future after leaving the White House were apparently answered this week, as Joe Biden announced that he had signed with a talent agency and immediately landed a role as a corpse on CSI:Vegas.
GENEVA — World Health Organization (WHO) leaders are sounding the alarm Thursday, warning that President Trump’s temporary freeze on federal funding for the organization may delay the release of a new pandemic.
U.S. — The Babylon Bee is proud to announce a special new membership option for USAID-funded government agencies which will start at just $36,000 per month.
WASHINGTON, D.C. — Liberals expressed outrage today after President Trump signed an executive order this afternoon that men cannot punch women in the face for sport.
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