HEAVEN — Faced with questions following the headline-making sermon delivered by a girl priest at the National Prayer Service, God clarified through a messenger that “Wherever two or three are gathered in my name, I am with them” doesn’t apply to Episcopalians.
President Donald Trump’s administration finally got settled into the White House this week, but word has it that cleaning the place out after Joe Biden’s departure was a daunting task. Trump’s team worked long hours following the inauguration, and you won’t believe what they found.
PIEDRAS NEGRAS — Lost in the furor over the Trump administration’s immediate implementation of plans to round up and deport illegal aliens throughout the United States and close the border was the plight of a murderer who said he was now forced to do all his murderin’ in Mexico.
PIEDRAS NEGRAS — Lost in the furor over the Trump administration’s immediate implementation of plans to round up and deport illegal aliens throughout the United States and close the border was the plight of a murderer who said he was now forced to do all his murderin’ in Mexico.
NOVI, MI — Local man Greg Hartford just made history by becoming the first person in the world to purchase WinRAR. Previously, no one had bothered to buy a license since the software’s free trial can be used perpetually, essentially making it free.
NOVI, MI — Local man Greg Hartford just made history by becoming the first person in the world to purchase WinRAR. Previously, no one had bothered to buy a license since the software’s free trial can be used perpetually, essentially making it free.
NEW YORK CITY — Prospects have dimmed considerably for local woman Violet Weber, who just graduated in December from Columbia with a degree in Diversity, Equity and Inclusion Studies.
U.S. — Late-night comedy made a stunning return to form Monday following the inauguration of President Trump with hosts reportedly excited they can now make jokes about the president again.
In case you haven’t heard, the United States is now obviously run by Nazis. How obvious, you ask? If you look at President Donald Trump’s inauguration yesterday, the signs were everywhere.
LOS ANGELES, CA — After briefly listening to former Vice President Kamala Harris speak, survivors of the Los Angeles fires hopped back in their cars and drove directly into the flames.
U.S. — With the uproar over President Donald Trump returning to the White House with a flurry of sweeping actions, the nation’s liberals took a brief pause in their standard daily routine of chanting “Death to Israel” so they could call Elon Musk a Nazi.
SAN DIEGO, CA — As President Trump issued an order requiring all government employees to return to work in person, one rescue swimmer for the United States Coast Guard expressed disappointment that he could no longer work from home.
U.S. — With the uproar over President Donald Trump returning to the White House with a flurry of sweeping actions, the nation’s liberals took a brief pause in their standard daily routine of chanting “Death to Israel” so they could call Elon Musk a Nazi.
WASHINGTON, D.C. — The debate over whether women should be allowed as pastors has been settled once and for all, thanks to the heroic efforts of the National Cathedral’s lady Bishop Mariann Budde.
In another incredible exclusive scoop, the Babylon Bee investigative team has obtained a picture of the note Biden left for President Trump in the Oval Office. Many air vents were crawled through to capture this remarkable image.
In case you haven’t heard, the United States is now obviously run by Nazis. How obvious, you ask? If you look at President Donald Trump’s inauguration yesterday, the signs were everywhere.
WASHINGTON, D.C. — Looking back over his legacy, sources said now-former President Joe Biden consoled himself with the fact that, no matter what else he may have done, at least he did his very best to ruin the country during his four years in office.
At his inauguration this week, PRESIDENT Trump (gosh, that feels good to type) announced he would be officially renaming the Gulf of Mexico to the Gulf of America. He also restored the name “Mt. McKinley” from whatever dumb thing the natives had called it. We are so back!
WASHINGTON, D.C. — The new Trump administration started off with a bang, as a Tommy gun-wielding Melania Trump was seen patrolling the streets of the nation’s capital and running Democrats out of town.
METROPOLIS — The hero once thought of by many as the defender of truth, justice, and the American way found himself in a public relations nightmare this week, as Superman came under fire after hundreds of images surfaced of him allegedly giving a Nazi salute.
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