LOS ANGELES, CA — Emergency crews responded to a catastrophic incident at the famous El Capitan Theater in Hollywood last night, where an entire studio audience tragically drowned in a flood of Jimmy Kimmel’s tears.
Things in America are getting pretty dicey these days. So dicey, in fact, that people in blue states are starting to wonder if it’s time to evacuate to the safety of more politically conservative places. Knowing when to get out of Dodge is vital.
U.S. — Amid social and political tensions reaching new highs with violent clashes between government law enforcement and protesters, the nation revealed it had started to wonder if people who spend their lives singing songs to toddlers on YouTube might not be all there mentally.
U.S. — Amid social and political tensions reaching new highs with violent clashes between government law enforcement and protesters, the nation revealed it had started to wonder if people who spend their lives singing songs to toddlers on YouTube might not be all there mentally.
NEW YORK CITY, NY — Researchers note a strong correlation between the decline in the quality of musicals and the large drop in men in the United States who identify as gay.
HELM’S DEEP, WESTFOLD OF ROHAN — Legal observers have clashed with immigration enforcement officers under the command of King Théoden at the tower fortress at Helm’s Deep.
WASHINGTON, DC — Protestors involved in the actions on January 6th, 2021 admit they wish they had just labeled themselves as “legal observers” and avoided all the arrests and stuff.
WASHINGTON, DC — Protestors involved in the actions on January 6th, 2021 admit they wish they had just labeled themselves as “legal observers” and avoided all the arrests and stuff.
U.S. — Seemingly at a loss as to how to solve the ongoing problems originating from the North Star State, everyone else in the United States reached a joint agreement to post Minnesota on Craigslist for $50 or best offer.
U.S. — In a touching display of solidarity amid widespread conflict in American cities, WNBA players issued a joint statement announcing they had vowed to continue missing lay-ups until ICE withdraws from Minnesota.
U.S. — In a touching display of solidarity amid widespread conflict in American cities, WNBA players issued a joint statement announcing they had vowed to continue missing lay-ups until ICE withdraws from Minnesota.
SAINT PAUL, MN — With tensions between ICE agents and leftist protesters in Minneapolis running high, Governor Tim Walz said he was willing to do anything to keep Minnesota residents safe except cooperate with federal law enforcement.
TAIPEI CITY — After spending over an hour-and-a-half climbing to the top of the Taipei 101 skyscraper, Alex Honnold was left kicking himself after realizing there was an elevator just inside.
With tensions continuing to mount over ICE operations in Minneapolis, the journalists at The Babylon Bee are on the ground to document the despicable actions carried out by ICE agents. Here are the seven most horrifying atrocities that we have witnessed:
MINNEAPOLIS, MN — After a judge threw out the charges against him, a frustrated Don Lemon wondered what a guy had to do to get inside one of those prisons full of men.
WASHINGTON, D.C. — On the heels of the public announcement that the couple was expecting their fourth child this summer, Second Lady Usha Vance gently informed the Vice President that they would not be naming their baby boy “Thomas Bombadil Vance.”
ICE is all over the news lately, with conflicting reports about what’s actually happening. Many people have been left wondering if ICE agents are upholding the law and keeping Americans safe or perpetrating acts of evil on innocent people.
U.S. — The new report released this week indicated that your wife’s love language had been confirmed to be sending you Instagram reels every day that you don’t watch.
TOLEDO, OH — Local weatherman Glen Dickson gleefully informed CBS 11 viewers that a giant storm was heading their way and that it was likely to kill everyone in its path.
MARS — In what scientists called the most significant discovery in the history of space exploration, the first astronauts to touch down on the Red Planet were greeted on Friday by two young men in short-sleeved white dress shirts and black name tags.
KATONAH, NY — As the geopolitical landscape continued to prepare for a changing of the guard, aging billionaire powerbroker George Soros expressed hope that he could ruin just one more country before the end.
Featured News
Click on this icon next to any post to promote it here!
