The Babylon Bee – Page 12

Study Finds Jews Are Always Cool And Nice And Their Bagels Are Great Too [This Post Sponsored By Israel For $7,000] (Satire)
The Babylon Bee - Oct 15th 2025 1:22pm EDT
U.S. — A new study has just conclusively proved that Jewish people are always cool, their bagels are great, and Israel is number one.
Christianity Saved By 435th Book Explaining What Is Wrong With Church Today (Satire)
The Babylon Bee - Oct 15th 2025 12:01pm EDT
U.S. — With the release of the 435th book about what is wrong with the church today, theologians agree that Christianity has finally been saved.
Democrats Warn We Are Now Further Away From World War 3 Than Ever Before (Satire)
The Babylon Bee - Oct 15th 2025 11:41am EDT
WASHINGTON, D.C. — As President Trump continues brokering peace deals across the globe, Democrats warned that we are now further away from World War III than ever before.
Democrats Explain To Young Republicans They’re Supposed To Engrave Their Messages On Bullets (Satire)
The Babylon Bee - Oct 15th 2025 11:10am EDT
U.S. — Democrats explained to the ignorant Young Republicans that hateful messages aren’t meant to be written in text messages, but engraved on bullets.
Wife Specifies To Husband Which Photo He’s Allowed To Share With ‘Dateline’ In The Event She’s Brutally Murdered (Satire)
The Babylon Bee - Oct 14th 2025 6:31pm EDT
SALT LAKE CITY, UT — After putting a lot of thought into the potential scenario, a local wife specified to her husband which photo he’s allowed to share with Dateline in the event she’s brutally murdered.
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Boomers Reveal Their Top 10 Tips For Getting Wealthy (Satire)
The Babylon Bee - Oct 14th 2025 4:14pm EDT
In uncertain economic times, it can be helpful to look back at previous generations who achieved success and emulate what they did. Take Boomers, for example. They’re loaded.
Exhausted Government Employees Hoping To Go Back To Work Soon So They Can Get Some Rest (Satire)
The Babylon Bee - Oct 14th 2025 2:50pm EDT
U.S. — According to sources, federal employees are eager for the government shutdown to end so they can go back to work and get some real rest.
Democrats Demand Trump Stop Fanning The Flames Of Peace (Satire)
The Babylon Bee - Oct 14th 2025 1:38pm EDT
WASHINGTON, D.C. — Democrats have called on President Donald J. Trump to stand down and immediately stop fanning the flames of peace.
Sad Greta Thunberg Asks If Anyone Else Needs A Flotilla (Satire)
The Babylon Bee - Oct 14th 2025 1:28pm EDT
STOCKHOLM — The ceasefire agreement between Israel and Hamas that was brokered by President Donald Trump had other unforeseen consequences, as sources reported hearing a sad Greta Thunberg ask if anyone else needed a flotilla.
Democrats Vow To Keep Government Shut Down Until Someone Notices (Satire)
The Babylon Bee - Oct 13th 2025 5:18pm EDT
WASHINGTON, D.C. — As Americans across the country continued to carry on their day-to-day lives without any significant changes, Democrats vowed to keep the federal government shut down until someone notices.
Democrats Vow To Keep Government Shut Down Until Someone Notices (Satire)
The Babylon Bee - Oct 13th 2025 5:18pm EDT
WASHINGTON, D.C. — As Americans across the country continued to carry on their day-to-day lives without any significant changes, Democrats vowed to keep the federal government shut down until someone notices.
Democrats Vow To Keep Government Shut Down Until Someone Notices (Satire)
The Babylon Bee - Oct 13th 2025 5:18pm EDT
WASHINGTON, D.C. — As Americans across the country continued to carry on their day-to-day lives without any significant changes, Democrats vowed to keep the federal government shut down until someone notices.
Democrats Vow To Keep Government Shut Down Until Someone Notices (Satire)
The Babylon Bee - Oct 13th 2025 5:18pm EDT
WASHINGTON, D.C. — As Americans across the country continued to carry on their day-to-day lives without any significant changes, Democrats vowed to keep the federal government shut down until someone notices.
9 Fun Ways To Celebrate Columbus Day (Satire)
The Babylon Bee - Oct 13th 2025 4:25pm EDT
Back in 1492, Christopher Columbus sailed the ocean blue so that you could have an American holiday where everyone still has to work. Now it’s time to honor his achievement.
Asians Still Sticking With The Masks (Satire)
The Babylon Bee - Oct 13th 2025 3:20pm EDT
WORLD — With COVID-19 no longer a public health emergency, people have largely abandoned their face masks and returned to pre-pandemic levels of caution with their health. That is, except for Asians, who appear to still be sticking with the masks.
Asians Still Sticking With The Masks (Satire)
The Babylon Bee - Oct 13th 2025 3:20pm EDT
WORLD — With COVID-19 no longer a public health emergency, people have largely abandoned their face masks and returned to pre-pandemic levels of caution with their health. That is, except for Asians, who appear to still be sticking with the masks.
Asians Still Sticking With The Masks (Satire)
The Babylon Bee - Oct 13th 2025 3:20pm EDT
WORLD — With COVID-19 no longer a public health emergency, people have largely abandoned their face masks and returned to pre-pandemic levels of caution with their health. That is, except for Asians, who appear to still be sticking with the masks.
Asians Still Sticking With The Masks (Satire)
The Babylon Bee - Oct 13th 2025 3:20pm EDT
WORLD — With COVID-19 no longer a public health emergency, people have largely abandoned their face masks and returned to pre-pandemic levels of caution with their health. That is, except for Asians, who appear to still be sticking with the masks.
Baby Attains 3rd-Degree Blackbelt In Rolling Out Of Diaper Changes (Satire)
The Babylon Bee - Oct 13th 2025 3:14pm EDT
GREENWOOD, MO — Martial arts enthusiasts celebrated a historic achievement this week, as a local baby attained a 3rd-degree black belt in rolling out of diaper changes.
Man Buys New TV So He Can Watch NFL Refs Blow Calls In Stunning 4K Resolution (Satire)
The Babylon Bee - Oct 13th 2025 1:40pm EDT
NEW BRAUNFELS, TX — One superfan’s dream of seeing his team play in high definition came true this weekend, as a local man bought a new TV so he could watch NFL referees blow calls in stunning 4K resolution.
People Who Have Been Calling For A Ceasefire For Two Years Denounce Ceasefire (Satire)
The Babylon Bee - Oct 13th 2025 1:14pm EDT
U.S. — Anti-Israel protestors denounced the Trump-brokered ceasefire in Israel after months of demanding that Trump broker a peace deal in Gaza.
Leftists Take To Streets To Protest End Of Genocide (Satire)
The Babylon Bee - Oct 12th 2025 3:29pm EDT
WORLD — Leftists across the globe took to the streets over the weekend to protest the ceasefire in Gaza and the end of genocide.
Fair: Trump Sets Letitia James’s Bail At $355 Million (Satire)
The Babylon Bee - Oct 11th 2025 1:01pm EDT
U.S. — In an effort to ensure equal treatment of all people under the law, President Trump has set Letitia James’s bail at $355 million.
7 Other People More Deserving Of Nobel Peace Prize Than Trump (Satire)
The Babylon Bee - Oct 11th 2025 12:34pm EDT
While many were surprised that President Trump was passed over for the Nobel Peace Prize, the fact of the matter is there were several nominees who were simply more deserving. Here are seven other individuals who were also ranked by the Nobel Committee ahead of Trump:
It’s Not Over Yet: Trump Still Hoping For Nobel In Literature For Latest Truth Social Post (Satire)
The Babylon Bee - Oct 10th 2025 4:31pm EDT
WASHINGTON, D.C. — After being snubbed for the Nobel Peace Prize, sources close to President Donald Trump revealed that he had not yet given up hope that he could win a Nobel Prize in Literature for his latest Truth Social post.

News From The Babylon Bee, Page 12

Study Finds Jews Are Always Cool And Nice And Their Bagels Are Great Too [This Post Sponsored By Israel For $7,000] (Satire)

Christianity Saved By 435th Book Explaining What Is Wrong With Church Today (Satire)

Democrats Warn We Are Now Further Away From World War 3 Than Ever Before (Satire)

Democrats Explain To Young Republicans They’re Supposed To Engrave Their Messages On Bullets (Satire)

Wife Specifies To Husband Which Photo He’s Allowed To Share With ‘Dateline’ In The Event She’s Brutally Murdered (Satire)

Boomers Reveal Their Top 10 Tips For Getting Wealthy (Satire)

Exhausted Government Employees Hoping To Go Back To Work Soon So They Can Get Some Rest (Satire)

Democrats Demand Trump Stop Fanning The Flames Of Peace (Satire)

Sad Greta Thunberg Asks If Anyone Else Needs A Flotilla (Satire)

Democrats Vow To Keep Government Shut Down Until Someone Notices (Satire)

Democrats Vow To Keep Government Shut Down Until Someone Notices (Satire)

Democrats Vow To Keep Government Shut Down Until Someone Notices (Satire)

Democrats Vow To Keep Government Shut Down Until Someone Notices (Satire)

9 Fun Ways To Celebrate Columbus Day (Satire)

Asians Still Sticking With The Masks (Satire)

Asians Still Sticking With The Masks (Satire)

Asians Still Sticking With The Masks (Satire)

Asians Still Sticking With The Masks (Satire)

Baby Attains 3rd-Degree Blackbelt In Rolling Out Of Diaper Changes (Satire)

Man Buys New TV So He Can Watch NFL Refs Blow Calls In Stunning 4K Resolution (Satire)

People Who Have Been Calling For A Ceasefire For Two Years Denounce Ceasefire (Satire)

Leftists Take To Streets To Protest End Of Genocide (Satire)

Fair: Trump Sets Letitia James’s Bail At $355 Million (Satire)

7 Other People More Deserving Of Nobel Peace Prize Than Trump (Satire)

It’s Not Over Yet: Trump Still Hoping For Nobel In Literature For Latest Truth Social Post (Satire)

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