MAR-A-LAGO — Hip-hop artist and fashion designer Kanye West was embroiled in controversy this week after wearing a shirt bearing the phrase “White Lives Matter” across its back. Not to be outdone, former President Donald Trump caused a stir of his own as he made a public appearance in an “Orange Lives Matter” shirt. Powered […]
NASHVILLE, TN — This week, U.S. President Joe Biden called into the radio show of personal finance guru Dave Ramsey, asking for financial advice for paying off his $31 trillion debt.
NEW YORK CITY, NY — Yankees outfielder Aaron Judge has hit his 62nd home run, setting the American League single-season record for someone with a normal-sized head.
WHEATON, IL — The evangelical world is abuzz after VeggieTales creator Phil Vischer, who recently said he supports abortion in some cases, announced a brand new film in which beloved character Laura Carrot aborts her baby carrot.
NEW YORK CITY, NY — Saturday Night Live has launched yet another season featuring more parodies of former President Donald Trump. The cast and crew stated they would love to make fun of the current president too if only he ever did anything at all deserving of mockery.
PARIS — Homeless vagrant Jean-Michel de Beauvoir won the coveted Palme d’Louvre award for Best in Fashion after stumbling onto the stage during Paris Fashion Week during a Balenciaga show.
U.S. — Three months have passed since the Supreme Court overturned Roe v. Wade, and Planned Parenthood has since struggled to reach its goals of lovingly killing unborn babies and harvesting their parts for money due to conservative states outlawing the practice. As a result, the organization has begun to hire long-range snipers to perform […]
ROME — Jewish religious leaders have taken issue with the Apostle Paul’s continuing to preach Jesus as Messiah to Gentile regions, which the Jewish religious leaders have condemned. Things came to head when the controversial figure donned a “Gentile Lives Matter” shirt this week, prompting further outrage.
FT MYERS, FL — In a desperate attempt to get help for its citizens and deal with the growing humanitarian crisis in the area, a Florida town devastated by Hurricane Ian has taken the unusual step of raising the Ukrainian flag, hoping to convince Congress to send aid.
CHICAGO, IL — To help support its recent efforts to conduct grotesque gender experiments on young children, the American Medical Association has appointed famed Nazi doctor Josef Mengele as its new president.
Are you a Dad looking for ways to bond with his son? It’s important to spend quality time with your boys and teach them how to be real men! Otherwise, they may grow up to be whiny weaklings! Not good!
NEW YORK CITY, NY — The NFL has fired its chief neurologist, Peter Pegalia, after learning Pegalia’s concussion protocol was to look for cartoon birds flying around the heads of players suspected of being concussed.
HELL — Board room Demons erupted with thunderous applause and praise for their CEO Satan as he pitched another sinister idea of rebranding the dated term “child sacrifice” with “abortion.”
WEST COVINA, CA — As a special public service for his fellow citizens, a local man has taken it upon himself to crank his car stereo as loud as possible at stoplights so that everyone within a three-mile radius can hear every nuance of his refined musical tastes.
SACRAMENTO, CA — This week, California Pastor John MacArthur wrote an open letter reprimanding California Governor Gavin Newsom after the governor took out billboards across the country promoting abortion services using quotes from Jesus. Sources say the governor is fed up with the constant calls to repentance and that during a wild party at The […]
PALM BEACH, FL — Following the destruction caused by Hurricane Ian, Governor Ron DeSantis has issued a stark warning against all would-be looters hoping to pillage the vulnerable state. This message, however, has not stopped what appears to be a large group of heavily armed looters wearing FBI patches from swooping in and attempting to […]
NASHVILLE, TN — With the success of Matt Walsh and the newly-bearded Ben Shapiro, pressure is mounting at The Daily Wire headquarters for popular conservative commentator Candace Owens to grow a beard of her own.
We are SO thankful that Hollywood has finally stopped their bigotry and made a few movies with LGBTQ+ representation. But the film industry has a long, long way to go if it’s going to undo decades of cis-heteronormativity! Here are several classic moves that DESPERATELY need a reboot with better LGBTQ+ representation!
We have witnessed many beautiful sights in our day, but nothing – not even the births of our own children – can compare to the GOREGOUSNESS that was Lizzo twerking in Abraham Lincoln’s top hat.
HOUSTON, TX — Lakewood Church Pastor Joel Osteen has begun selling his own unique brand of table salt, which is completely devoid of any and all saltiness.
Not all heroes wear capes, but lots of them wear red polos and goofy-looking yellow suspenders. Here we have collected nine legendary tales of when Chick-fil-A employees literally saved a customer’s life in the drive-thru:
A few days ago, President Joe Biden moseyed away from his podium while speaking to a group of FEMA workers. As he did so, worried aides and officials stifled their panic enough to keep their voices steady, trying to beckon him back where he was still needed. At that moment, we saw what we have […]
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