U.S. — FBI Director Christopher Wray has come under criticism for his raiding of former President Trump’s residence. He responded this morning by announcing that all who criticize the FBI’s raid will have their own homes raided as well.
U.S. — A new report is predicting a 0% unemployment rate by the year 2026, as every American will be working for the IRS and be hard at work auditing other American citizens who work for the IRS.
ROYAL OAK, MI — Local Dad Jeff Francis is widely known as a loving and devoted father, but some sources indicate he struggles with the details when it comes to his four sons. Jeff’s wife Rebecca provides helpful reminders about their children’s birthdays, hair color, and names, but Rebecca still reports that Jeff only loosely […]
PALM BEACH, FL — Federal agents left empty-handed following a raid on Trump’s Mar-a-Lago estate. Sources say Trump cleverly hid his cache of classified documents in plain sight by labeling them “Epstein’s Client List.”
MORDOR — In order to ensure the kingdoms of Middle Earth pay their fair share to The Great Eye, Saruman has created an army of 87,000 tax collectors in the breeding pits of Orthanc Tower.
See, that wasn’t so hard! According to your spouse, you were just instructed to go change your toddler, something you should be fully capable of without any help. You just got one pant leg on and that’s half the battle right there!
PALM BEACH, FL — Former President Donald J. Trump was seen fleeing on a golf cart while shouting defiantly at federal agents Monday. Witnesses claim he led authorities on a daring chase that reached speeds of up to 30 Mph.
PALM BEACH, FL — Amid mounting accusations of attempting to intimidate former President Trump from running for re-election in 2024, Attorney General Merrick Garland explained today that when the FBI was tipped off of a school board protest at Mar-A-Lago, they mobilized without delay to quell the rising threat of concerned parents.
PEARLY GATES — Anthony Spinner, a Wisconsin man who’d recently been broken in half during a backyard wrestling match, attempted to argue his way into the Kingdom of Heaven by showing Saint Peter the Ukraine flag he placed on his Twitter bio. He was reportedly turned away after being informed that Jesus had no idea […]
MAR-A-LAGO, FL — The morning after Trump’s Florida home was raided by FBI agents, the former president took the time to thank the FBI for officially kicking off his reelection campaign.
The Inflation Reduction Act is rampaging through Congress right now and is expected to become the law of the land. But what is in the bill? We went through the text line by line so that you, and members of Congress, don’t have to!
WASHINGTON, D.C. — The Inflation Reduction Act reportedly provides for additional funding to hire 140 million new IRS agents — one for every home in America.
WEST PALM BEACH, FL — High-level Chinese asset and sex trafficker Hunter Biden breathed a sigh of relief this evening as an FBI raid team passed by his West Palm Beach vacation home to raid Donald Trump’s residence in Mar-a-Lago.
SAN FRANCISCO, CA — Times have been hard for Fairfield Valley Shopping Center, with most of its retail stores going out of business over the last few years. According to sources, all vacant spaces are now occupied by either Spirit Halloween or Starbucks.
WASHINGTON, D.C. — After finally testing negative for COVID, President Biden has invited a group of kids back to the White House to see if his sense of smell has returned.
Toxic masculinity has been under fire since third-wave feminism in the ‘90s, and for good reason – men have brought nothing but wickedness and dirty laundry into the world from the beginning. Want examples? Here are 9 horrible things brought to you by toxic masculinity:
WASHINGTON, D.C. — A White House insider confirmed today that the Bidens’ German Shepherd Major has been running the country during the president’s COVID isolation period. Government insiders are already praising the dog for overseeing the most action-packed two-week period of the Biden presidency.
ST. PAUL, MN — Local man Donald Struthermeier was on high alert Monday after his wife gasped aloud while reading texts from her phone. He knew from experience that someone had either just died or bought a new handbag.
WASHINGTON, D.C. — As D.C. resources begin to buckle under the strain of thousands of migrants being sent to the nation’s capital from Texas, the Biden Administration has taken steps to solve the problem by hiring them all as IRS agents.
HEAVEN — After once again finding herself with fourteen million messages asking for prayer, the Blessed Virgin Mary decided to finally just set her voicemail to forward directly to Jesus.
CHARLOTTE, NC — After the latest bathroom faucet catastrophe, local wife Christy Talamo has compiled a sincere “honey don’t” list of household tasks she would like her husband to never, ever attempt.
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