News From David Cole

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  • ‘Tis the Season…for Dave

    David Cole - Dec 4th 2023 2:06pm EST

    HAPPY DECEMBER! Here’s a new video. And I know…roughly 20 of you right now are saying “What? WHAT? The free content Substack I voluntarily subscribed to of my own volition is posting new free content? This shall not stand! I must UNSUBSCRIBE, as I am incurably retarded and do not understand the cause and effect […]

  • The Right’s Derek Chauvinism

    David Cole - Nov 28th 2023 12:00am EST

    Quick quiz: Who was Jerry Parr? Don’t Google it, that’s cheating! Without looking it up, do you know who he was? Odds are, you don’t. Jerry Parr was the Secret Service agent in charge of protecting Ronald Reagan on the day he was shot in 1981. When the gunfire began, Parr pushed Reagan into the […]

  • Sieg Nile! The Nazi/Muslim Question

    David Cole - Nov 21st 2023 12:57am EST

    I love it when the world catches up to Dave! Last week proved that my favorite obsessions can go mainstream (I look forward to the day when my newest fetish, “Never leave the house and drink yourself to death,” becomes what all the cool kids do). Two separate videos, both relating to Israel/Gaza, went viral. […]

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  • Bunny Dreams and Abortion Nightmares

    David Cole - Nov 14th 2023 3:52am EST

    This week—a lesson from a “bunny.” You’re likely familiar with Twitchy, rightist aggregator of the left’s wild and wackiest tweets. Twitchy was founded by Old Granny Malkin (ever since Michelle Malkin tried to preserve her faded youth and relevance by hooking up with child Nazis, I can’t think of her without seeing the “let’s haul […]

  • The Abyss Gazas Back

    David Cole - Nov 6th 2023 11:52pm EST

    Enough with Gaza. I’ve done three columns in a row on Oygenflaygin vs. Akbar, and that’s plenty. If there’s one thing I despise about opinion columnists, it’s the fetish of covering the daily “big thing.” So this week’s column will be an in-depth examination of why the “Angels of Death” episode of the 1970s British […]

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  • Halloween Bonus – The SPOOKIEST Film Ever Made!

    David Cole - Oct 31st 2023 5:21pm EDT

    Happy Halloween! If you’re looking for something spook-spook-spookifying to watch tonight, have I got a treat for you! In 2010 I had the honor of participating in the full restoration of Thomas Edison’s 1910 15-minute silent film masterpiece “Frankenstein.” To mark the movie’s centennial, we restored it with Edison’s original title cards. This is the […]

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  • Wailing (at a) Wall

    David Cole - Oct 31st 2023 11:52am EDT

    I’ve no next of kin. When I die, I have no idea what’s gonna happen to my house. Not that I don’t have a plan: After I stroke out on my bedroom floor, my corpse will putrefy and the stank will be absorbed into the floorboards, so when Persians buy my house for a song, […]

  • A Hard-Drinkin’ Hebe’s Halloween Hijinks!

    David Cole - Oct 30th 2023 3:25pm EDT

    Okay, get ready to UNSUBSCRIBE because the free content account you signed up for is posting free content. UNTHUBTHCRIBE! UNTHUBTHCRIBE! Or, watch the video. Lord knows I don’t make money from this shit, so either way, it don’t bother me none. Speaking of which, BUY ME A BEER. BUY ME A BEER! Leave a comment […]

  • White Knighting for Middle East Unsalvageables

    David Cole - Oct 24th 2023 12:01am EDT

    So there used to be a self-described “gay Nazi chef” in Sacramento named Walter Mueller (or as I called him, Emeril Lagassechamber). Back in 2003, during my year off from life as I lived by the beach and did nothing but swim all day and drink all night, I’d monitor his website (out of boredom, […]

  • Even Daves Get the Blues

    David Cole - Oct 20th 2023 1:33pm EDT

    Just between us, I’m not a well man. My severe hypertension means I’m always just one episode of extreme annoyance away from a stroke. So I try not to get annoyed. Last year I went off my BP meds, because I missed having boners. And to my wondrous surprise, I found that I can totally […]

  • Revenge of the Goy Golems

    David Cole - Oct 17th 2023 4:12am EDT

    Told ya. From the beginning of the “Groyper movement” and the ascension of Nick Fuentes’ Nazibois, I’ve been warning rightists to be wary of those loons. My advice was rejected. Many times I had private convos with well-known MAGAs who told me, “Look, I know these guys are wacky when it comes to Jews, and […]

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  • Sleuth and Consequences

    David Cole - Oct 10th 2023 12:00am EDT

    Regular readers know how much I detest rightist “sleuths.” As I wrote in 2020 (in a column Tucker Carlson got in trouble for sharing), “sleuthing” is the opposite of noticing. Noticing means acknowledging reality; sleuthing means promoting fantasy. As I said in the piece, “noticing assures voters ‘I see what you see.’ Sleuthing scolds them, […]

  • Yay, Halloween! Oy Vey, Auction!

    David Cole - Oct 5th 2023 4:06pm EDT

    Ol’ Dave always loses around a dozen subs the ONE TIME A MONTH he posts. So for those of you who are already screeching “What? I signed up for free content and now I’m getting it? I must UNSUBSCRIBE AT ONCE!” go ahead and do it. 95% of my readers are the smartest folks on […]

  • Rise of the Self-Tarded

    David Cole - Oct 3rd 2023 12:00am EDT

    Gunnery Sergeant Hartman voice: “I have failed.” I have failed to beat sense into the Gomer Pyles of MAGA regarding Beverly Hills. I’ve shown election data. I’ve shown electoral maps. All to counter the patently false notion that BH is a leftist bastion. I’ve even tried appealing to MAGA self-interest, pointing out that north BH […]

  • GOP Jonahs Swallowed by Giant Bass

    David Cole - Sep 26th 2023 12:41am EDT

    The threat to men’s lives had him in a rage. A leader such as that would command fanatic loyalty. He would be difficult to defeat. Against his own will and all previous judgments, Kynes admitted to himself: I like this Duke. That’s from Frank Herbert’s Dune, and for those of you who don’t know the […]

  • The Hard Stuff

    David Cole - Sep 19th 2023 4:12am EDT

    I’m gonna start by talking about the porn girl I lived with, then segue into the actors’ strike and end on politics. Yep, ol’ Dave will deftly manipulate three balls at once. So, speaking of porn… For me, two years of living with a porn star were more than enough. Actually, one was more than […]

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  • Meet the Foggers

    David Cole - Sep 12th 2023 12:00am EDT

    This’ll be the final entry in my “Fog Trilogy”; totally different topic next week, I promise! Last week’s column was about how/why rightists “fog themselves.” This week, let’s examine the professional foggers—the rightist superstars who get paid to fog. When people wonder why I’m always so hard on Ronny Unz, it’s because I find nothing […]

  • Go Fog Yourself

    David Cole - Sep 5th 2023 12:00am EDT

    This is a sequel-in-spirit to last week’s piece about rightist “fog.” In a recent column I mentioned a Ron Unz contradiction regarding the Holocaust. In his “landmark” 17,600-word Holocaust denial essay, Unz wrote that Jews never made a big deal about the Holocaust until the 1970s (when “everyone involved in the war was dead so […]

  • NEW VIDEO: Dave Answers YOUR Questions!

    David Cole - Aug 29th 2023 3:03pm EDT

    September sekkint is my birthday! Buy me a beer! Buy me a beer! Buy me a beer! And leave your questions in the comments for the next video. Also, holy crap that shirt is billowy! Makes me look “end-stage Brando” fat. It was the only shirt I had on-hand that didn’t clash with the green […]

  • The Gathering Fog (A Horror Story)

    David Cole - Aug 29th 2023 10:43am EDT

    Recently I’ve been thinking about James Herbert’s 1975 book The Fog, which I read when it was first published (I’ve been a horror fan since childhood; as a kid there wasn’t a horror film or book I didn’t voraciously consume). The novel tells of a (spoiler alert) fog that warps the mind of all who […]

  • Exalted Failures Part II: Slow-Motion ‘Downfall’

    David Cole - Aug 22nd 2023 4:12am EDT

    This will conclude my apparent “Hitler Trilogy” (I say “apparent” because I didn’t plan it; it just kinda happened that way). I’ll lead off with a few observations from my youth. I realize that Ron Unz tells you that “the Jews” only invented the Holocaust in the 1970s because by then everyone involved in WWII […]

  • Exalted Failures Part I: Führer Furor

    David Cole - Aug 15th 2023 9:21am EDT

    Hitlers, I get Hitlers. Lotsa hubbub following last week’s column about the far-right’s Hitler fetish. Nick Fuentes stopped pleasuring himself to videos of Ali Alexander curb-crawling a Boy Scout fun-run just long enough to wail on Telegram about how mean ol’ Cole THE JEW defamed the Führer. Another target of my column, Elijah Schaffer (the […]

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  • C’mon, Republicans, Let’s Get Hitlerized!

    David Cole - Aug 8th 2023 4:04am EDT

    Simply everyone’s talkin’ about Hitler! Let’s join the fun. Remember in 2015, when leftists called Trump a Nazi and we were like, “Nice try! You called Romney a Nazi! You called McCain a Nazi! Everyone’s a Nazi to you.” Yeah, those were fun times. Until we got actual Nazis. Richard Spencer was that first cockroach […]

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  • The Curse of the Checkersuckers

    David Cole - Aug 1st 2023 12:00am EDT

    Yes, another parable! You guys liked the burning balcony one so much, I’m doin’ it again. In Paul Schrader’s 1978 film Blue Collar, there’s a scene in which Richard Pryor confronts two checkered-suit-wearing pension-fund-thieving UAW goons. In the theatrical cut, he calls them “motherfuckers.” For the 1980s edited-for-TV version, some genius dubbed in “checkersuckers.” That […]

  • The Right’s Ideological Dysgenics

    David Cole - Jul 25th 2023 4:52am EDT

    I don’t care much for Ron Unz. While I certainly appreciate anyone who publishes “forbidden” content, I do feel quite vehemently that Unz is emblematic of a major problem facing the right. Like most Californians, I knew Unz as a failed politician and successful businessman who, in the 1990s, scuttled the state’s Spanish-only “bilingual” education […]