News From David Cole, Page 13
The “Science” of Caging a Compliant Majority
David Cole - Apr 21st 2020 3:08am EDTIn late February, a seven-year legal battle finally reached its conclusion, but nobody noticed. It should have been a big story, but it was eclipsed by the Chinese viral apocalypse. Which is ironic, because even though, at first glance, the legal battle in question has absolutely nothing to do with COVID, thematically, it’s surprisingly relevant. […]
They’ll Snuff Your Life to End Their “Stigma”
David Cole - Apr 14th 2020 2:06am EDT“Stop the coronavirus stigma now!” So screamed the so-called “science” journal Nature on April 7. COVID-19 must not be “associated with Wuhan or China.” Even though COVID is the product of uniquely Chinese customs and practices, and even though COVID only occurred because the Chinese didn’t curb those customs and practices after they gave the […]
Wuhan Derangement Syndrome
David Cole - Apr 7th 2020 4:03am EDT“How can we not be united against death?” So wailed emotive carbuncle Keith Olbermann back in 2009. He was off on some typically nutty rant about single-payer health care, but still, it was a nicely turned phrase. “How can we not be united against death?” Or more to the point, how can we not be […]
Speak the Truth, Shame the Chinese
David Cole - Mar 31st 2020 4:58am EDTWell, I’ll be damned; the Chinese are now encouraging “cultural appropriation”! After telling whites that they can’t cook “Asian” food or open “Asian” restaurants or wear “Asian” clothes, because everything that comes from Asia belongs to Asians only, the Chinese are now willingly surrendering credit for the COVID-19 virus, even though it came from China […]
Locked Down in Third World California
David Cole - Mar 23rd 2020 8:01pm EDTAs I type these words, Californians are under a mandatory “stay at home” edict issued by the Patrick Bateman cosplayer in our statehouse. Any Californian caught leaving his, her, its, or zir home for “nonessential” reasons is subject to fine or imprisonment. Yes, the state that removed criminal penalties for knowingly giving someone AIDS has […]
The Chinks in Our Armor
David Cole - Mar 16th 2020 8:00pm EDTDear Coronavirus, If you can spare a few minutes from killing Chinese and the elderly, could you please have a go at the morons in my neighborhood who were swarming the grocery store at 6 a.m. yesterday cleaning out the toilet paper and water? If you could thin that herd, I’d greatly appreciate it. Sincerely, […]
Get Big Hitler Out of Politics!
David Cole - Mar 10th 2020 3:50am EDT“Get big money out of politics.” So screams Bernie Sanders’ campaign website. Elizabeth Warren has her own iteration of the phrase, as have many politicians, even some Republicans. But as worrisome as “Big Money” can be in American politics, I’m a bit more concerned about “Big Hitler.” Why can’t we keep Hitler out of our […]
Ruth Bader Ginsburg Approves of Caging Kids…if They’re White
David Cole - Mar 2nd 2020 7:01pm ESTExcuse me, but I was promised concentration camps. In 2016, leftists told us that Trump, if elected, would build a network of Nazi death camps. And what did we get instead? A few measly “kids in cages.” Worse, those damn border detention center cages aren’t even Trump’s; they’re Obama’s. And now, thanks to the ceaselessly […]
“Party of Lincoln” Assassinates Itself
David Cole - Feb 25th 2020 2:48am EST
The Great Shoe Wars
David Cole - Feb 18th 2020 2:03am ESTThis is not going to be another coronavirus column. Yes, the disease we’ve been saddled with thanks to the Dagwood Bumsteads of China will make an appearance later on. But let’s start by rolling the clock back—way back—to a time long past, a disease long forgotten, and a lesson about footwear. If you get your […]
As Goes the Holocaust, So Goes the West
David Cole - Feb 10th 2020 7:00pm ESTWhen did we become so deathly afraid of speech? And why is it oddly appropriate that the recent 75th anniversary of the liberation of Auschwitz coincides with ramped-up efforts to curb free-speech rights in the U.S.? Let’s use a fake Indian as a scout to begin our journey toward the answer. Last week, Elizabeth Warren […]
Crazy Rich Asians Will Kill Us All
David Cole - Feb 4th 2020 3:59am ESTThere’s a quote I’m sure you’ve heard, and it’s usually attributed to Einstein (although he was far from the first to say it, and even he said it different ways at different times): “I know not with what weapons World War III will be fought. I know only this: World War IV will be fought […]
Bleeding Hearts and Bloody Whores
David Cole - Jan 28th 2020 5:01am ESTI’ll begin this week’s sermon, I mean column, with the Parable of the Hemorrhaging Mexican Whore. I used to have this friend—I won’t say his name because he’s an actor and you’d know him—who loved driving down to Tijuana to avail himself of the brothels. Man oh man, did this guy love the TJ hookers. […]
“Chaotic Diversity” in My Backyard
David Cole - Jan 21st 2020 3:31am ESTAs the Jewish kid strolled up my walkway and slipped a flyer under my door, I had two thoughts: This is gonna be trouble, and I really need to get that gap under my door fixed. The flyer informed me that I had just been liberated from the oppression of my neighborhood’s zoning regulations. I […]
The Unsalvageables
David Cole - Jan 14th 2020 4:08am ESTThis week’s column starts in a Georgia ghetto, and ends in the Middle East. Some of you might remember Anthony Stokes. He was a 15-year-old DeKalb County, Ga., hood rat with a bum ticker who kept getting passed over for a heart transplant because of his “high risk” lifestyle, which included burglary, weapons charges, arson, […]
Suicide (Final) Solution
David Cole - Jan 7th 2020 4:33am ESTIn April 1936, Ambassador William Bullitt relayed an urgent message to Washington: “Enough with the Jews already.” I’m slightly paraphrasing. Bill Bullitt was one of the most fascinating and influential figures in American foreign policy in the first half of the 20th century. Bullitt was born into blue-blooded Philly aristocracy. Daddy was old gentile money, […]
Today I Settle All Family Business
David Cole - Dec 31st 2019 4:12am ESTAs this week’s column will run on the final day of the year, I thought I’d break format and do something a little different. People often ask me, “Dave, where do you get your story ideas?” Why, from my Mossad handlers, of course. But every now and then I manage to scrounge something up on […]
Hollywood Conservatives’ Year of Self-Harm
David Cole - Dec 23rd 2019 7:00pm ESTThis should’ve been a happy Christmas for right-wing cinephiles like myself. The “social justice” horror film Black Christmas landed with the squishy thud of Oprah slipping on an icy stoop. Black Christmas tells the story of a plucky feminist rape-victim sorority sister who bravely campaigns to have the bust of her school’s dead white male […]
Settle for Less, You White Bastards!
David Cole - Dec 17th 2019 3:21am ESTIt was October 2003 and L.A. Times columnist Peter King was angry. Mad as hell, in fact, about white Californians and their expectations of happiness. Arnold Schwarzenegger had just scored a landslide gubernatorial victory as an anti-illegal-immigration candidate. Yes, I know it’s hard to believe that weak-kneed girly-man Ahnold was once seen as an anti-immigration […]
The Holocaust Is Not the “Pill” to Die On
David Cole - Dec 10th 2019 3:33am ESTLast week I wrote about how the Tennessee Board of Judicial Conduct, following a review by an investigative panel, declared that I’m not a Holocaust denier. After the column posted, a half-dozen old friends peckered their way out of the woodwork to say howdy. “Gosh, Dave, I missed ya, buddy! Weird how I haven’t been […]
Immigration, the Holocaust, and a “Cancel Culture” Fail
David Cole - Dec 2nd 2019 7:00pm ESTWhen leftists tried to “cancel” a judge because he refused to turn a blind eye to illegal immigration, things did not go quite as expected. This is the final chapter of a story I covered back in May. Memphis Criminal Court Judge Jim Lammey has a simple and straightforward attitude when it comes to illegal […]
The Groypers of Wrath
David Cole - Nov 26th 2019 4:00am ESTYou know the difference between an album and a concert? With an album, the idea is to create something with staying power. The music is meticulously recorded, mixed, sweetened, and preserved for repeated play. An album is timeless. I have friends who still play old vinyl. And I know “zoomers” who still listen to those […]
Tyler Kent and the Roosevelt Whistle-blow Job
David Cole - Nov 19th 2019 12:58am ESTRemember that time Democrats hated a whistle-blower so much they turned him over to a foreign government to be imprisoned on an island? Think Gilligan’s Island but without the laugh track. There was a millionaire, however…a cuddly cripple with a fondness for war and a penchant for collusion. I speak, of course, of that most […]
T(y)ranny Triumphant, Part II: Zhe Who Controls the Past…
David Cole - Nov 11th 2019 4:00pm EST“The devil’s finest trick is to persuade you that he does not exist.” And the left’s finest trick is to persuade you that a man in a dress is a woman. In last week’s column, I covered tranny domination of women’s sports. This week, it’s the entertainment industry…and a lawsuit against Amazon you might not […]
T(y)ranny Triumphant, Part I: Transmenstrual Cyclists
David Cole - Nov 5th 2019 12:02am ESTIt’s time to take the “he” out of heliocentric. Trannies are the center of the universe now, and anyone who refuses to accept the new zheliocentrism can count on swift punishment for their heresy (sorry, zheresy). Ask yourself why trannies have become so important to the left. It has nothing to do with votes—there aren’t […]
