News From David Cole, Page 13
How Do You Solve a Problem Like a MAGA Part II: Tard Harder
David Cole - Jan 26th 2021 6:43am ESTThere are two courses of action that MAGAs can take in the wake of the debacle that was 1/6: learn from one of the worst strategic disasters in American political history, or, conversely, don’t learn a damn thing. Because what’s a mistake if not something to deny and repeat? That’s the choice: be less tarded, […]
How Do You Solve a Problem Like a MAGA?
David Cole - Jan 19th 2021 2:59am ESTSometimes you chase the story, and sometimes the story chases you. Two weeks ago I’m walkin’ through Century City, the business, residential, and dining district adjoining Beverly Hills. This is familiar territory to me; it’s home. So I know— Wait a minute…isn’t that the exact same opening as my Dec. 8 column? What gives? 2021 […]
Well, That Went Great
David Cole - Jan 12th 2021 3:35am ESTFucking idiots. Oh, did I violate the unwritten rule that crass language is most effectively employed as punctuation for effect rather than, say, an opening statement? If so, my apologies. Now back to the cussing. “Fuck you…WAR.” Thousands of you tweeted that old Breitbart clip last week, back when you were still ON Twitter, before […]
Soros Soars, GOP Cowards Cower
David Cole - Jan 4th 2021 7:00pm ESTI devoted my Dec. 15 column to newly elected Los Angeles County District Attorney George Gascón and his benefactor George Soros. Gascón has one goal: to put the people of L.A. at the mercy of criminals. He’s the face of anarcho-tyranny, and George Soros is the wallet. The night after my column, Tucker Carlson devoted […]
Dr. Kizzmekia Corbett Presents “Wacky Vaxxers!”
David Cole - Dec 29th 2020 8:21am ESTIf I were Dr. Kizzmekia Corbett, I’d cool it with the boasting. I’m a bit more weathered and wizened than the 34-year-old immunologist currently being touted as the “curer of Covid,” and one lesson I’ve gleaned from my many years on this earth is that life loves comedic setups and satisfying punchlines. Opinion assholes like […]
Ho Ho Ho! Dave’s Back for a Christmas Eve Special!
David Cole - Dec 24th 2020 12:06pm EST
The GOP’s Big Black Suicide Tent
David Cole - Dec 22nd 2020 3:51am ESTThere are “bad” takes, and then there are takes that make you stop dead in your tracks, stare blankly ahead, and say to yourself, “Well, we’re fucked.” Liz Peek is a Wall Street and petroleum industry cockroach who’s become an unavoidable presence these days on Fox News, where she’s a regular contributor on air (Varney […]
Something Worse Than Voter Fraud
David Cole - Dec 15th 2020 3:24am ESTYeah, voter fraud is real. Yeah, Democrats excel at it. But the current obsession on the right with voter fraud (genuine and imagined) carries with it the potential to do far more damage long-term than the fraud itself. Rightists have a tendency to become obsessed with flights of fancy, and as I see the rise […]
Something Worse Than Voter Fraud
David Cole - Dec 15th 2020 3:24am ESTYeah, voter fraud is real. Yeah, Democrats excel at it. But the current obsession on the right with voter fraud (genuine and imagined) carries with it the potential to do far more damage long-term than the fraud itself. Rightists have a tendency to become obsessed with flights of fancy, and as I see the rise […]
40 Acres and a Mall
David Cole - Dec 7th 2020 7:01pm ESTSometimes you chase the story, and sometimes the story chases you. Two weeks ago I’m walkin’ through Century City, the business, residential, and dining district adjoining Beverly Hills. This is familiar territory to me; it’s home. So I know when something’s not right. Like the bus full of black folks that came barreling past me […]
No Recount Needed: China Won
David Cole - Dec 1st 2020 3:34am ESTPoor old Tucker Carlson. All the man’s trying to do is educate you poor slobs about facts and evidence, and you turn on him like jackals for his measured rationalism. Tuck is facing a backlash among rightists for his caution regarding Trump lawyer/not Trump lawyer/maybe Trump lawyer Sidney Powell’s “dingoes ate me ballots” election fraud […]
California Secedes From Black America
David Cole - Nov 24th 2020 2:36am EST
I have several close friends who moved from California to Arizona to live in “redder” territory. This has not been a good month for them. AZ’s turning bluer than the balls on an Elder Scrolls neckbeard. And even if you want to scream “voter fraud” regarding the Biden win, the fact is that Arizonans haven’t […]The Failer Strategy, Part II: Sooper Sleuths and “Great Men”
David Cole - Nov 17th 2020 2:50am EST“If the rule you followed brought you to this, of what use was the rule?” —Anton Chigurh, No Country for Old Men Like it or not, fair or unfair, Trump is finished as president. And while most of the postmortems being conducted at the moment focus on Trump’s failures and poor decisions, I’d prefer to […]
The Failer Strategy
David Cole - Nov 10th 2020 3:35am ESTWhy’s everybody so glum? Don’t you know the Durham Report is gonna drop any second now? Oh boy, I can’t wait to see Obama and Hitlery led off in cuffs! Yep, the indictments are being written as we speak. So hold tight; it’s coming! That’s comforting, right? That’ll get you through the next few weeks. […]
Immunity for the Speech Suppressors
David Cole - Nov 3rd 2020 2:51am ESTNovember 3rd…election day. There’s not much a man of my years can do at a time like this but think back to elections past. And at the moment I’m thinking of Friday, November 4th, 1988, four days before America had the privilege of choosing between two of the most uninspiring bowls of soggy Minute Rice […]
Happy HOLO-ween!
David Cole - Oct 31st 2020 12:05pm EDT
Downstreaming a Conservative Reaming
David Cole - Oct 26th 2020 8:00pm EDTWith seven days to go until the election, there’s no way a weekly columnist can keep up with the rapid-fire developments that’ll surely be cracklin’ like a burning log on Fox and CNN as we speak. So I’m not even gonna try. Instead, let’s talk about movies. And maybe I’ll stumble into something relevant along […]
Jewish Problems, Jewish Solutions
David Cole - Oct 20th 2020 2:40am EDTWell, well, well…someone owes Adolf Hitler an apology. On Oct. 9, New York governor Andrew Cuomo declared a “Jewish problem” in his state regarding COVID. The damn Jews are spreading it like plague rats! Mind you, Cuomo wasn’t referring to just any old Jews. Not the right-minded secular progressive Jews of NYC who’ve worked so […]
All Hail the Cult of Black Suffering
David Cole - Oct 13th 2020 1:09am EDTAs the grotesque spectacle that is Election 2020 drags its fetid carcass down the home stretch, leaving behind a snail trail of despair and humiliation, I’m plagued by one nagging question: Is anybody buying this? Has there ever been a less honest presidential election in this nation’s history? I know that’s saying a lot, because […]
New Vodcast — Spooky Holocaust Halloween!
David Cole - Oct 9th 2020 1:53pm EDT
L.A. Is Not So Black and White
David Cole - Oct 5th 2020 8:00pm EDTLast month, a loyal reader called me out on my critique of Ron Unz’s position on race, immigration, and the 2020 Summer of Hate. Unz’s view in a nutshell is that the riots and looting prove that America’s real problem is with blacks and leftist whites, not nonwhite immigrants. Unz essentially told rightists to ditch […]
“N-Word Science” Proves You’re a Racist!
David Cole - Sep 29th 2020 2:22am EDTWith summer 2020 finally in the rearview mirror, and after seven months of “two weeks to flatten the curve,” I’m getting a little sick of “the science.” Not science, mind you, but theee science, the thing that leftists keep assuring us exists—a singular, canonical truth we all must obey. Mind you, it sure seems like […]
I’m BACK, You Jerks! And I’m Talkin’ About Your Favorite Topic
David Cole - Sep 25th 2020 11:39am EDT
Never Again! (Some Restrictions May Apply)
David Cole - Sep 22nd 2020 1:10am EDTThere are certain “firsts” we all remember from youth. Our first kiss. Our first car. Our first time being chased off a college campus by an angry mob of Jews shouting, “Never again!” Okay, that last one may be unique to me. See, that’s what happened when I was invited by a student group to […]
BLM’s Hitlerian Heart
David Cole - Sep 15th 2020 2:35am EDT“Why is Hitler remembered as the worst villain ever, when other dictators racked up higher body counts?” Man, if I had a dollar for every time I’ve been asked that question, I’d have 6 million bucks (though that number might decrease during a later recount). It’s a decent enough question, though. Stalin killed way more […]
