News From David Cole, Page 8

Special-Needs Nation

When I’m asked why I never had kids, my standard answer is, I’ve spent my life in mortal fear of being tethered to another human in a manner from which I can’t legally walk away if I choose. That’s an honest answer, but it’s not the complete one. The second part, which I always leave […]

Purge and Cleanse, No Loose Ends

It’s a tradition ’round these parts (and by “these parts” I mean my desktop, comfy chair, and rum bottle) to end December by cleaning house of interesting bits and pieces I didn’t get to use during the year. Normally, this housecleaning consists of unused back-and-forths with journalists and academics. But this year’s different: I had […]

I Woked With a Zombie

My Christmas gift to myself this year is a column about zombie movies. I’ve been wanting to do this one since October, when it was announced that Night of the Living Dead is getting a woke remake by something named Nikyatu Jusu, which I thought was a martial art but turns out it’s a scowling […]

MERRY CHRISTMAS from Dave!!!!

Treading Water With Bimbos and Bilkers

This week, I present the parable of the bimbo Kansan. Bambi Bimbo leaves her Midwestern homestead to come to Hollywood. With her tight ass, toned tummy, pert breasts, and button nose, all her life she’s been told by her kin in Kickenschitt, Kansas, that she’s destined to be up thar on that silver screen. She […]

Overton Window to the Soul

One of the frustrations of writing a weekly column is that sometimes you wrap a piece, post it, and that very day the Special Olympians of public discourse provide fodder you wish you’d been able to include. I’d just finished writing about the lunacy of rightists who see in Kanye West a leader, a prophet, […]

Right Wacks Off, Goes Blind

I don’t live by a lot of rules (“socks first, then shoes” is one I find helpful. You’re welcome). But here’s a rule I appreciate more as I get older: Stupid and crazy are traits best avoided. I can hear you saying, “Dave, that seems obvious.” But you’re wrong, oh imaginary reader. In politics, there’s […]

Dave Drinks Again (and answers your questions)

Midterm for the Worse, Part III: Disjoin or Die

Last week I was watching Tammy Bruce on Fox, and…hey, is she still a lesbian? That used to be her thing, right? Whatever happened with that? Tammy Bruce’s lesbianism was like Bobcat Goldthwait’s screaming: It was never interesting, but it was at least distinguishing. So there’s Bruce, the day after Trump’s presidential announcement, and she’s […]

Midterm for the Worse, Part II: These Firsts Shall Be Our Last

I get it, you’re tired of the midterms. Time to move on! After all, the GOP controls the House…by such a slim majority one softball shooter with decent aim could blow it to hell. But hey—Boebert won! Yippee! Time to break out the “liberal tears” memes. An incumbent barely won by 550 votes. And you’re […]

Give Thanks…No Green Screen, Video’s Under Two Hours, and I’m Wearing a Shirt!

Midterm for the Worse, Part I: Fetus Do Yo’ Stuff!

The next few columns will analyze the midterms from different angles. This week: abortion. Pro-lifers post-Dobbs have effectively demonstrated what happens when a dog finally catches the car: He runs over his friends. Then he crashes through a house and bursts into flames. Worse still, unfazed, he turns around and comes back for another pass. […]

Who’s Afraid of the Big Bad Wolfberg?

This column’s posting the day of the midterms, and that’s all anyone’s gonna want to read about. But I’m more of a postmortem guy than a prediction guy (I gave up doing predictions after last month’s column “Liz Truss: Now Begins a Decade of Glory”). So instead of making wild guesses about election results you’ll […]

Kanye’s Kancellation: The Devil’s in the Details

I’m not sure l’affaire Yeezy deserves a second consecutive column…but its lessons certainly do. Because the lessons are so cut-and-dried. Kanye West committed the cardinal sin: He offended the one group you can’t criticize—the Jews! “Every ‘cancel’ story has its own unique character.” Except…Mel Gibson went full-court on the Jews and he’s fine. Okay, but […]

BOO! I’m Back for Halloween!

The Jews Are Ye’s Misfortune

Kanye West’s Jew-obsessed meltdown offers many potential angles for analysis. I could start with the “why do you still trust Tucker?” angle. Carlson prefaced his now-infamous Kanye interview with an assurance to you, the viewer, that even though Kanye’s detractors claim the man’s mentally ill, he isn’t: “Is he crazy? No, he’s not. He’s not […]

Bean and Gone in L.A.

A conservative author remarked to me a few days ago, “Between Kanye and the Jews, and the City Council Mexicans and the blacks, it’s been the Cole Cinematic Universe this week.” Indeed, many familiar notes; this’ll be a two-parter. The L.A. City Council (LACC) Mexicans story has been everywhere, and of course, rightists have gotten […]

The Holocaust of Doing Business

Foreign policy ain’t my bag. I’m a history guy, as the lunatics on Twitter who tag me with “#Holohoax” every fucking day never let me forget. I came up doing postmortems of long-concluded wars, and if there’s one lesson I learned, it’s that during a hot war, people outside the bunker rarely have a clue […]

Vermin’s March

This week I revisit a favorite theme: how poor interpretation leads to poor strategy. Like when rightists attribute the entire tranny phenomenon to “grooming,” an oversimplification that ignores the prevalence of middle-aged women in the movement (I wrote about that here). In the 1980s, conservatism was dominated by the religious right. The Moral Majority, Pat […]

The Soft (Skulled) Underbelly of the Right

David Cole is “the Antichrist” (Phil Donahue), “pure evil” (Washington Post), “as bad as Hitler, Hussein, and Arafat” (Detroit Jewish News), “a Nazi heel” (Huffington Post), “powerful and dangerous” (Yehuda Bauer), “an offense to God” (neocon coward Andrew Klavan). This is why I rarely do podcasts; I always disappoint in person. Hosts expect GG Allin, […]

Holocaust Auction! And…My Last Video Ever?

¡MAGArriba Arriba!

¡Ay yi yi! Tucker Carlson se ha vuelto muy loco! Like all ideological talking heads, Tucker Carlson is predictable; he tells MAGAs what they want to hear. And why not? Preaching to the choir, and giving the choir direction, is what ideological talking heads do. But Carlson can also be unintentionally funny. Last month he […]

Plan Biden From Outer Space

In the words of John Goodman from Barton Fink, “Jesus, it’s hot.” L.A.’s historic, unprecedented September heat wave is literally murdering me. But you wanna know what’s killing me worse? You people hyuck-hyucking about how California can’t keep the lights on. A thousand Twitter automatons mindlessly posting the California/Titanic meme. Fox’s The Five doing an […]

Resigned to Apartheid

This is my third “apartheid” column in a row—consider it the close of a trilogy. Several readers have noted the depressing nature and resigned tone of the previous two pieces, to which the best reply I can muster is, at this point I genuinely believe that chronicling is all that’s left to do. I can […]

White Crimes of the Future

June 2002: A white woman named Valinda Elliott accompanied her boss on a business trip through the Arizona desert. When their car broke down and the boss suffered heatstroke, Elliott lit a signal fire to alert a passing helicopter. Unfortunately, the fire grew into a larger blaze. At the same time, at the nearby Apache […]