MINNEAPOLIS, MN — For the second time in American history, Democrats are threatening civil war if Republicans do not stop taking away their slave laborers.
With the announcement that he is withdrawing from the Minnesota governor’s race, Tim Walz is on the hunt for a new career. Fortunately, The Babylon Bee has come up with the following list of jobs he’d be absolutely fabulous for:
DANSVILLE, NY — The Rodgers family reportedly recruited a social worker to help moderate what turned out to be an emotional intervention for Steve Rodgers, a 40-year-old man who has persisted in wearing skinny jeans.
U.S. — The 2028 presidential race took a surprising turn this week following the events that took place in Venezuela, as the latest round of polling showed that deposed dictator Nicolas Maduro had taken the early primary lead as the most popular Democrat.
WASHINGTON, D.C. — The White House announced that job creation in December blew past expectations, with over one million new jobs being created in just one month. However, the unemployment rate remained unchanged, as every single one of the jobs was filled by Marco Rubio.
WASHINGTON, D.C. — The White House announced that job creation in December blew past expectations, with over one million new jobs being created in just one month. However, the unemployment rate remained unchanged, as every single one of the jobs was filled by Marco Rubio.
WASHINGTON, D.C. — The White House announced that job creation in December blew past expectations, with over one million new jobs being created in just one month. However, the unemployment rate remained unchanged, as every single one of the jobs was filled by Marco Rubio.
WASHINGTON, D.C. — The White House announced that job creation in December blew past expectations, with over one million new jobs being created in just one month. However, the unemployment rate remained unchanged, as every single one of the jobs was filled by Marco Rubio.
LITTLE ROCK, AR — Local dad Matt Carver has found his commitment to doing “Dry January” severely tested by a game of Candy Land with his three-year-old daughter Kaitlyn.
LITTLE ROCK, AR — Local dad Matt Carver has found his commitment to doing “Dry January” severely tested by a game of Candy Land with his three-year-old daughter Kaitlyn.
WASHINGTON, D.C. — In the fallout of recent events, witnesses on Capitol Hill reported seeing one Libertarian politician Googling “What is the absolute dumbest take possible?” before deciding what side of an issue to come down on.
WILMINGTON, DE — With the successful military operation to topple the authoritarian Venezuelan government, former President Joe Biden was notified that he was being forced to pay Donald Trump the $25 million bounty his administration had put in place for capturing Nicolas Maduro.
WILMINGTON, DE — With the successful military operation to topple the authoritarian Venezuelan government, former President Joe Biden was notified that he was being forced to pay Donald Trump the $25 million bounty his administration had put in place for capturing Nicolas Maduro.
U.S. — Experts are now recommending parents limit their children to just four hours of brain-rotting slop each day to better prepare them for the future.
U.S. — Experts are now recommending parents limit their children to just four hours of brain-rotting slop each day to better prepare them for the future.
SOMEWHERE IN THE NEVADA DESERT — U.S. President Donald Trump was spotted fleeing from international cops in a high-speed chase after allegedly breaking international law again.
SOMEWHERE IN THE NEVADA DESERT — U.S. President Donald Trump was spotted fleeing from international cops in a high-speed chase after allegedly breaking international law again.
NEW YORK, NY — A statement from the mayor’s office confirmed Zohran Mamdani was following the situation in Venezuela very closely and would have more to report after his classified morning briefing, which he receives from watching The View.
NEW YORK, NY — A statement from the mayor’s office confirmed Zohran Mamdani was following the situation in Venezuela very closely and would have more to report after his classified morning briefing, which he receives from watching The View.
WASHINGTON, D.C. — On the anniversary of the January 6, 2021, incident at the U.S. Capitol, Democrat lawmakers gathered together once again to solemnly remember the only riot they didn’t like.
WASHINGTON, D.C. — On the anniversary of the January 6, 2021, incident at the U.S. Capitol, Democrat lawmakers gathered together once again to solemnly remember the only riot they didn’t like.
If you’re hoping to make good on your New Year’s resolution to become a better Christian than you’ve come to the right place. The staff of The Babylon Bee has collectively read the Bible at least once, so we know a thing or two about being a better Christian.
CARACAS — Following the deposition of dictator Nicolas Maduro, the White House announced that Donald Trump would make his return to reality television to choose the next Venezuelan president in the inaugural season of El Aprendiz.
CARACAS — Following the deposition of dictator Nicolas Maduro, the White House announced that Donald Trump would make his return to reality television to choose the next Venezuelan president in the inaugural season of El Aprendiz.
- Aug 9th 2025 5:17pm EDT