The Babylon Bee – Dissent Watch

Uh Oh! A Monkey Stole The Pope Hat And Now He’s Infallible (Satire)
The Babylon Bee - Jun 22nd 2026 6:17pm EDT
VATICAN CITY — In disastrous news for the Catholic Church, a mischievous little monkey stole Pope Leo’s hat and placed it on his own head, giving the monkey the power of infallibility.
Visitors From Europe Tell Us Their 13 Most Surprising Discoveries In America (Satire)
The Babylon Bee - Jun 22nd 2026 6:04pm EDT
The World Cup has brought real excitement to these American shores, and not just in the form of soccer, but in the innocent, wide-eyed discoveries of European tourists experiencing the United States for the first time.
Reflecting Pool Algae Surges Ahead Of Kamala In 2028 Democrat Presidential Polls (Satire)
The Babylon Bee - Jun 22nd 2026 3:30pm EDT
WASHINGTON, D.C. — The algae from the Lincoln Memorial Reflecting Pool surged ahead of former Vice President Kamala Harris in polls for the Democratic Party’s 2028 presidential nomination.
Prominent Muslim Leader Resigns (Satire)
The Babylon Bee - Jun 22nd 2026 2:48pm EDT
LONDON — In a stunning fall from power, one of the world’s foremost Muslim leaders was forced to resign as Prime Minister of the United Kingdom.
Democrat Candidate For Michigan District 32 Sanitation Board Promises To Free Palestine (Satire)
The Babylon Bee - Jun 22nd 2026 1:44pm EDT
MASON, MI — Democratic candidate Brad Winkler vowed to “Free Palestine” as he launched his campaign for the District 32 Sanitation Board this week.
Newsom Raises State Income Tax To 110 Percent (Satire)
The Babylon Bee - Jun 22nd 2026 12:20pm EDT
SACRAMENTO, CA — Facing an operational budget shortfall of $10 billion, Governor Gavin Newsom announced today that he would offset expenditures by raising the California state income tax to 110%.
ISIS Claims Responsibility For Reflecting Pool Algae (Satire)
The Babylon Bee - Jun 20th 2026 3:32pm EDT
KABUL — The notorious terrorist organization ISIS has claimed responsibility for an algae attack that has disrupted the beautiful blue color of the Reflecting Pool.
Obama Library Cruelly Disenfranchises Millions Of Black Americans By Requiring Photo ID For Entry (Satire)
The Babylon Bee - Jun 20th 2026 1:51pm EDT
CHICAGO, IL — In a cruel denial of basic human rights, the Obama Presidential Library has disenfranchised millions of black Americans by requiring photo identification for entry.
Cringe: Out-Of-Touch Company Posts Pride Logo Like It’s 2014 Or Something (Satire)
The Babylon Bee - Jun 20th 2026 12:22pm EDT
PITTSBURGH, PA — Local company Stan’s Paper Mill proudly posted on X, formerly Twitter, a message celebrating Pride Month, apparently ignorant of the fact the year is no longer 2014.
Trump Unveils New Air Force One Helicarrier (Satire)
The Babylon Bee - Jun 19th 2026 6:22pm EDT
CAMP SPRINGS, MD — At Joint Base Andrews on Friday, President Donald Trump unveiled the next Air Force One, a massive battle-ready airborne aircraft carrier, which he affectionately called a “Helicarrier.”
NASCAR Celebrates Pride Month With First All-Subaru Race (Satire)
The Babylon Bee - Jun 19th 2026 3:53pm EDT
SAN DIEGO, CA — NASCAR will celebrate Pride month this year by featuring its first all-Subaru race at the Navy 250 in San Diego.
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Experts Issue Dire Warning That A.I. Has Now Learned How To Use The Semicolon (Satire)
The Babylon Bee - Jun 19th 2026 2:58pm EDT
U.S. — A.I. has reportedly learned to use the semicolon; now experts are sounding the alarm.
So-Called ‘World’s Greatest Dad’ Not Even In Top Five (Satire)
The Babylon Bee - Jun 19th 2026 2:19pm EDT
CLAREMONT, NH — Local man Roger Taft, despite owning several mugs declaring him to be the world’s greatest dad, has reportedly not even cracked the top five.
British Tourists Pleasantly Surprised By Quality Of American Food, Lack Of Rape Gangs (Satire)
The Babylon Bee - Jun 19th 2026 1:28pm EDT
U.S. — British tourists visiting the United States have reportedly been surprised by the quality of American food, and also the fact there are no violent hordes of rape gangs roaming the countryside.
‘Now Witness The Firepower Of This Fully Armed And Operational Battle Station,’ Cackles Obama (Satire)
The Babylon Bee - Jun 19th 2026 12:45pm EDT
CHICAGO, IL — Seated upon his spinning throne chair, a cackling former President Barack Obama invited guests to witness the firepower of his now fully-armed and operational battle station.
10 Questions On California’s Test To Determine If You’re Gay Enough (Satire)
The Babylon Bee - Jun 18th 2026 6:34pm EDT
California has introduced an official LGBT Business Enterprise certificate, which comes with all sorts of cool tax breaks if you’re a certified gay. Sounds great, right? However, the state is doing its due diligence by testing all applicants to determine if they are gay enough.
Al Gore Explains That While ‘An Inconvenient Truth’ Did Not Prove Accurate, It Did Make Him Incredibly Rich (Satire)
The Babylon Bee - Jun 18th 2026 6:00pm EDT
NASHVILLE, TN — While commemorating the film’s 20th anniversary, former Vice President Al Gore explained that while An Inconvenient Truth did not prove to be accurate, it did make him incredibly rich.
Player Kicked Off Joel Osteen’s Church Softball Team For Writing Bible Verse On Hat (Satire)
The Babylon Bee - Jun 18th 2026 5:49pm EDT
HOUSTON, TX — News broke this afternoon that Pastor Joel Osteen kicked congregant Jeff Janovec off the church softball team after Janovec reportedly wrote a Bible verse on his Lakewood Church team hat.
Learning from Trump, Man Successfully Negotiates Wife Down To Absolutely Everything She Wants (Satire)
The Babylon Bee - Jun 18th 2026 3:10pm EDT
DAYTON, OH — Local man Troy Greer announced that after a long, intense round of negotiations with his wife, he had emerged victorious and had successfully negotiated her down to getting absolutely everything she wanted.
Man Continues Tenth Year Of Sending Just A Thumbs Up To Every Single Text Message He Receives (Satire)
The Babylon Bee - Jun 18th 2026 2:33pm EDT
ROCKPORT, TX — Local man Jake Minter confirmed that he had now entered his 10th consecutive year of replying to every single text with only a single thumbs-up emoji.
World Leaders Line Up To Ask Trump To Bomb Their Countries For While And Then Give Them A Few Hundred Billion (Satire)
The Babylon Bee - Jun 18th 2026 1:43pm EDT
WORLD — Global leaders rushed to sign up for Trump’s incredible offer to have the U.S. bomb their country for a few weeks and then give them $300 billion.
Joseph Hoping At Some Point To Have Dream That Doesn’t Make Everyone Want To Kill Him (Satire)
The Babylon Bee - Jun 18th 2026 12:27pm EDT
CANAAN — The young son of a prominent family remained optimistic that he would someday have a dream that doesn’t make everyone in his life want to kill him.
Iran Wins $300 Billion Cash Prize For Placing Second In War (Satire)
The Babylon Bee - Jun 18th 2026 11:42am EDT
TEHRAN — The leadership of the Islamic Republic of Iran was reportedly overjoyed to learn they had won a grand total of $300 billion for coming second place in the war against the U.S.
Tim Walz Volunteers To Personally Check Each And Every California Business To See If Owners Are Gay Enough (Satire)
The Babylon Bee - Jun 17th 2026 3:27pm EDT
SAN FRANCISCO, CA — With California adopting a new system to check if LGBTQ+ labeled businesses are really gay, Minnesota Governor Tim Walz showed up uninvited at the offices of the California Public Utilities Commission volunteering to personally inspect every California to see if the owners are gay enough.
MLB Orders Players Who Refused To Bow To Pride Flag To Be Thrown Into Fiery Furnace (Satire)
The Babylon Bee - Jun 17th 2026 1:19pm EDT
NEW YORK, NY — MLB Commissioner Rob Manfred, reportedly infuriated by news of ball players defiling their pride hats with Bible verses, has ordered anyone who refuses to bow to the pride flag be cast into the fiery furnace.

News From The Babylon Bee

Uh Oh! A Monkey Stole The Pope Hat And Now He’s Infallible (Satire)

Visitors From Europe Tell Us Their 13 Most Surprising Discoveries In America (Satire)

Reflecting Pool Algae Surges Ahead Of Kamala In 2028 Democrat Presidential Polls (Satire)

Prominent Muslim Leader Resigns (Satire)

Democrat Candidate For Michigan District 32 Sanitation Board Promises To Free Palestine (Satire)

Newsom Raises State Income Tax To 110 Percent (Satire)

ISIS Claims Responsibility For Reflecting Pool Algae (Satire)

Obama Library Cruelly Disenfranchises Millions Of Black Americans By Requiring Photo ID For Entry (Satire)

Cringe: Out-Of-Touch Company Posts Pride Logo Like It’s 2014 Or Something (Satire)

Trump Unveils New Air Force One Helicarrier (Satire)

NASCAR Celebrates Pride Month With First All-Subaru Race (Satire)

Experts Issue Dire Warning That A.I. Has Now Learned How To Use The Semicolon (Satire)

So-Called ‘World’s Greatest Dad’ Not Even In Top Five (Satire)

British Tourists Pleasantly Surprised By Quality Of American Food, Lack Of Rape Gangs (Satire)

‘Now Witness The Firepower Of This Fully Armed And Operational Battle Station,’ Cackles Obama (Satire)

10 Questions On California’s Test To Determine If You’re Gay Enough (Satire)

Al Gore Explains That While ‘An Inconvenient Truth’ Did Not Prove Accurate, It Did Make Him Incredibly Rich (Satire)

Player Kicked Off Joel Osteen’s Church Softball Team For Writing Bible Verse On Hat (Satire)

Learning from Trump, Man Successfully Negotiates Wife Down To Absolutely Everything She Wants (Satire)

Man Continues Tenth Year Of Sending Just A Thumbs Up To Every Single Text Message He Receives (Satire)

World Leaders Line Up To Ask Trump To Bomb Their Countries For While And Then Give Them A Few Hundred Billion (Satire)

Joseph Hoping At Some Point To Have Dream That Doesn’t Make Everyone Want To Kill Him (Satire)

Iran Wins $300 Billion Cash Prize For Placing Second In War (Satire)

Tim Walz Volunteers To Personally Check Each And Every California Business To See If Owners Are Gay Enough (Satire)

MLB Orders Players Who Refused To Bow To Pride Flag To Be Thrown Into Fiery Furnace (Satire)

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