With only a few days left before the calendar turns to 2025, it’s time to look back and honor some of this year’s most amazing achievements. 2024 was one for the ages, featuring numerous historic events, momentous accomplishments, and some type of election people keep talking about.
With only a few days left before the calendar turns to 2025, it’s time to look back and honor some of this year’s most amazing achievements. 2024 was one for the ages, featuring numerous historic events, momentous accomplishments, and some type of election people keep talking about.
With only a few days left before the calendar turns to 2025, it’s time to look back and honor some of this year’s most amazing achievements. 2024 was one for the ages, featuring numerous historic events, momentous accomplishments, and some type of election people keep talking about.
U.S. — President Joe Biden proudly announced Friday that America’s crippling national debt had officially been paid off in full by using the money found in Congressman Dan Crenshaw’s swear jar.
TELLURIDE, CO — Local place of worship The Church of the Shepherd was accused of heresy of the highest order after its staff was caught handing out LED candles to sing “Silent Night” instead of real fire-burning candles as God intended.
WASHINGTON, D.C. — Elon Musk’s involvement in this week’s failure by Congress to pass a continuing resolution to fund the government ignited outraged speculation that he may be pulling the strings and controlling President-elect Donald Trump, with the most pointed criticism coming from the behind-the-scenes power players who have been controlling President Joe Biden’s every […]
ALBUQUERQUE, NM — A local man paused for a moment today to catch his own gaze in the mirror and reflect on what he had become after spending $2.58 on gems in a mobile app game.
PALM BEACH, FL — In yet another sign of their growing bond, President-elect Donald Trump and billionaire entrepreneur Elon Musk debuted a new matching set of Christmas pajamas they will wear as they celebrate the holiday together next week at Mar-a-Lago.
OMAHA, NE — Local father Nathan Michaels called a family meeting Friday afternoon to inform his daughter that she wouldn’t be able to go to university because he spent her entire college fund on a single little bacon cheeseburger at Five Guys.
WASHINGTON, D.C. — According to sources, several Representatives in the nation’s capital are feeling frustrated that their spending bill has been killed by the people they were elected to represent.
WASHINGTON, D.C. — President-elect Donald Trump was still several weeks away from taking office, but the implementation of new policies by his Department of Government Efficiency had already begun, as “Elon on the Shelf” dolls were being installed in all congressional offices to remind lawmakers to be efficient.
SPARKS, MD — The hotly anticipated next installment of the popular Civilization franchise, Sid Meier’s Civilization VII, will reportedly expand its tech tree system with a new “Bidenomics” research upgrade where inflation ruins everything and eggs go up to $12 a dozen.
WASHINGTON, D.C. — Though Americans were up in arms when news broke that lawmakers were pushing to give themselves an increase in salary, members of Congress insisted that they needed the pay increase to keep up with the inflation they caused.
Is there any group of people that work harder than Congressmen? No. No there is not. And yet, these poor, industrious public servants often don’t get raises, sometimes for years.
Is there any group of people that work harder than Congressmen? No. No there is not. And yet, these poor, industrious public servants often don’t get raises, sometimes for years.
U.S. — Though economic analysts sounded the alarm over such a catastrophe happening just before Christmas, husbands across the country breathed a sigh of relief upon hearing thousands of Amazon workers were going on strike.
MILWAUKEE, WI — Recent security camera footage of Martha Holmes shows that the 73-year-old Wisconsin native ignorantly attempted to use cash to pay for her groceries yesterday.
WASHINGTON, D.C. — The United States Congress introduced bold legislation this week that, if passed, would ban reading any future spending bills until after they become law.
Ostensibly made to just keep the government open until March, suspicions arose that the new $1.2 trillion spending bill may have a few things added after it clocked in at 1,500 pages. The Bee has reviewed the bill line by line, uncovering the following thirteen shocking items:
WASHINGTON, D.C. — With time running short, Congress has warned that failure to pass a massive spending bill could result in the U.S. surviving a bit longer.
It’s only a week until Christmas, which means two things — remembering the wonder of God sending Jesus into the world, and heatedly debating whether or not Die Hard is a Christmas movie. What if the two are more connected than you think?
CHEYENNE, WY — Local newborn Sebastian Weaver III is starting to suspect this blue nipple he’s been furiously sucking on for 3 hours might not contain any milk.
SACRAMENTO — California Governor Gavin Newsom has reportedly called for a state budget increase, promising that with just another $25 billion, he can double the homeless population by 2030.
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