PHILADELPHIA, PA — Following a season-ending playoff blowout at the hands of the Philadelphia Eagles, members of the San Francisco 49ers were quick to point out that the game’s officiating team was clearly to blame for the 31-7 trouncing.
NEW ROCHELLE, NY — Former late-night talk show host Jay Leno had a wild and wacky ride on his most recent pogo stick excursion, according to sources. While navigating a staircase, Leno took a slip on a banana peel and bounced down 175 steps, ultimately landing on a cactus.
FINLAND — Despite making history as the first trans figure skater, 57-year-old trans woman Minna-Maaria Antikainen clumsily fell and needed assistance rising from the ice amid swelling orchestral music and spotlights last week. Analysts say Antikainen’s strategy was “ill-advised” because it involved a biological male picking the one sport where biological women have a natural […]
BRANSON, MO — The cost of groceries has continued to rise, despite the Biden Administration’s concerted effort to reduce inflation by printing money. In fact, prices have now increased to the point that a Payday Loan Center was seen setting up shop in the egg aisle of a local grocery store.
ATLANTA, GA — Senior Pastor Andy Stanley was sidetracked while delivering a sermon Sunday morning at North Point Community Church when the Bible began disagreeing with one of his points. The pastor and author pulled up a stool and set the Bible up so they could hash matters out publicly for the benefit of church […]
LOS GATOS, CA — Netflix announced they have acquired the rights to tell the tragic story of Tyre Nichols’ death at the hands of 5 black police officers. Leadership at the streaming giant confirmed the police officers will be portrayed by white actors.
EGYPT — Scholars have uncovered new evidence showing that Pharaoh’s infamous hanging of his chief baker was a result of discovering walnuts in his brownies.
CHARLESTON, WV — In order to make the transition from singing to preaching more seamless, Grace Community Church has installed a trap door that the praise band will fall through as soon as they finish their worship set.
DEARBORN, MI — Ford Motor Company is set to debut an innovative safety feature for all new models, where the vehicle will instantly shut off if a woman is detected in the driver’s seat.
PEORIA, IL — Members of Cornerstone Calvary Community Congregation City Church were in for a shock this past Sunday as they were greeted at the doors to the church by an army of state-of-the-art robo-greeters.
WORLD — Worship leaders worldwide were left stunned today after word began to spread that the Lord now regrets including the command “Sing unto the Lord a new song” in His Word after hearing the new songs Christians are currently singing.
WASHINGTON, D.C. — After getting into yet another public spat with ChatGPT, Representative Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez has accused the program of wanting to date her.
WASHINGTON, D.C. — After getting into yet another public spat with ChatGPT, Representative Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez has accused the program of wanting to date her.
PEORIA, IL — Members of Cornerstone Calvary Community Congregation City Church were in for a shock this past Sunday as they were greeted at the doors to the church by an army of state-of-the-art robo-greeters.
WORLD — Worship leaders worldwide were left stunned today after word began to spread that the Lord now regrets including the command “Sing unto the Lord a new song” in His Word after hearing the new songs Christians are currently singing.
The Walt Disney Company caved to a righteous outcry of public pressure when it gutted beloved log flume attraction Splash Mountain, replacing any reference to its controversial film Song of the South in favor of The Princess and the Frog — a movie starring an African American princess who sings multiple songs in the south.
UKRAINE — Mere hours after deploying 31 brand new U.S. M1 Abrams tanks, sources are now reporting all 31 of them have been destroyed by the Russians. Experts are attributing this to the fact that each of the 31 tanks featured rainbow camouflage that was easily visible to the enemy Russians.
CLAREMONT, CA — Theologians at the Claremont School of Theology put forward additional evidence that God has a sense of humor by pointing out that 1 out of every 20 pistachios tastes like flaming hot garbage.
GOLDEN VALLEY, MN — Move aside, purple horseshoes! General Mills announced today an exciting new addition to their Lucky Charms marshmallow lineup: Ukraine Flag charms, available for a limited time only.
We all want what’s best for our children. That’s why it’s important to educate them early on how to deny gender normativity and embrace dysphoria. What will people think if your child becomes a “normie?” That would be the worst!
KHERSON, UKRAINE — In an instance some have labeled the Ukraine-Russia War’s “Christmas Truce,” Ukrainian and Russian soldiers have paused their fighting to capture a photo of their adorable matching American tanks.
LAGUNA NIGUEL, CA — A local TikTokker was left angry today after she was unable to achieve her goal of drawing attention from men at the gym, who she could then berate on camera and shame publicly on social media.
- Aug 9th 2025 5:17pm EDT