While babies are undeniably cute, they aren’t too bright. Yet, despite being unable to talk or poo on a potty, babies are still significantly smarter than today’s liberals. Here are ten ways babies are outpacing the libs:
SACRAMENTO, CA — Sources close to Gavin Newsom say that the governor’s Trump imitations may be getting a little out of hand after Newsom ordered an aide to shoot off part of his ear.
SAN DIEGO, CA — In a small corner of the San Diego Zoo’s chimpanzee exhibit lies a modest laptop computer that an autistic chimp named Hank uses to run Governor Gavin Newsom’s X account.
SAN DIEGO, CA — In a small corner of the San Diego Zoo’s chimpanzee exhibit lies a modest laptop computer that an autistic chimp named Hank uses to run Governor Gavin Newsom’s X account.
HEAVEN — Celestial sources report that in response to hearing of President Trump’s hopes for getting into heaven, God has agreed to let Trump into His kingdom if he simply repents of his sin and trusts in Christ alone for his salvation.
OSLO — The Nobel Committee has officially announced that President Trump will be awarded the prestigious Peace Prize for getting Volodymyr Zelenskyy to actually wear a suit.
With President Donald Trump making election reform a priority, cleaning up the process and determining qualifications for voting are important. Who should vote, and how can it be determined?
The Babylon Bee changed the satire game forever when we launched 9 years ago. Now, we’re taking on unfunny, woke Hollywood with brand-new shows, sketches, web series, and movies, all from the minds that come up with the fake news headlines you read every day.
NEW YORK — Mayoral candidate Zohran Mamdani caused a stir this week when he rage quit from a game of Sim City 4 after the residents of his simulated city starved to death again.
NEW YORK — Mayoral candidate Zohran Mamdani caused a stir this week when he rage quit from a game of Sim City 4 after the residents of his simulated city starved to death again.
NEW YORK — Mayoral candidate Zohran Mamdani caused a stir this week when he rage quit from a game of Sim City 4 after the residents of his simulated city starved to death again.
CHINO HILLS, CA — A men’s bible study was suddenly derailed when one of its members decided that the time scheduled for the study of Romans was the right time to bring up the Nephilim again.
The Babylon Bee changed the satire game forever when we launched 9 years ago. Now, we’re taking on unfunny, woke Hollywood with brand-new shows, sketches, web series, and movies, all from the minds that come up with the fake news headlines you read every day.
Beleagured cable news channel MSNBC has rebranded itself as MS NOW, but that wasn’t the only new name considered. The executives at NBCUniversal reportedly settled on the new name after whittling down a list of suggestions.
WASHINGTON, D.C. — A new study from Pew Research indicates that the average parent spends 92% of his or her life waiting for children in the school pickup line.
WASHINGTON, D.C. — Senate Minority Leader Chuck Schumer disagreed with the president’s assessment of D.C., saying he’s never once felt in danger walking the ten minutes it takes to get to his car, and neither have any of his ten bodyguards.
PRIOR LAKE, MN — Sources close to local man Todd Stevens say the life-long Minnesotan has decided to switch his allegiance to whichever political party will get this video of the male Vikings cheerleaders off his Twitter feed.
WASHINGTON, D.C. — As President Donald Trump continues to hint at taking action to require in-person voting in U.S. elections, Democratic leaders warned that a mail-in ballot ban would place undue hardship on dead voters.
LITTLE ROCK, AR — According to sources, a local church’s kids ministry spells “kids” with a “z” instead of an “s” at the end, a sure sign that this kids ministry is absolutely lit.
WASHINGTON, D.C. — Ukrainian President Volodymyr Zelenskyy arrived at the White House today wearing a novelty bikini t-shirt which some are calling inappropriate.
FRISCO, TX — After witnessing the debut of the Minnesota Vikings’ new male cheerleaders, the Dallas Cowboys expressed relief that they would no longer be known as the gayest team in the National Football League.
AMMAN — As experts and diplomats continue to search for the solution to the generations-long conflict in the region, one surprising study has concluded that problems in the Middle East should definitely be blamed on the 0.3% of it that isn’t an Islamic dictatorship.
METROPOLIS — A new scandal threatened to arise between governing officials and Earth’s greatest superhero, as Metropolis sued Superman for being far too effective in reducing crime in the city.
- Aug 9th 2025 5:17pm EDT