News From The Babylon Bee, Page 291
Planned Parenthood Now Offering Post-Birth Abortion Services
The Babylon Bee - Jul 1st 2022 7:47pm EDTNEW YORK, NY—In honor of the organization’s 100th birthday, Planned Parenthood president Cecile Richards announced Wednesday a bold new program, expanding a woman’s right to choose by offering a plethora of post-birth abortion services for fetuses from birth all the way up to eighteen months old.
Legislative, Executive, And Judicial Branches Welcome Big Tech As 4th Branch Of Government
The Babylon Bee - Jul 1st 2022 7:47pm EDT“The best part about this new branch of government is we don’t have to worry about pesky elections getting in the way anymore,” said an almost giddy Kamala Harris. “Now even if we lose every election, Democrats still control Big Tech, and can silence, censor, and control our way back to power! Man, it feels […]
Scholars Now Believe David Only Beat Goliath Because He Had The High Ground
The Babylon Bee - Jul 1st 2022 7:47pm EDTJERUSALEM—Scholars working with the Israel Antiquities Authority have uncovered new evidence that suggests the biblical David was only able to defeat Goliath because he had the high ground.
Texas Passes Law Allowing Students To Lasso Teachers Who Promote Critical Race Theory, Drive Them Out Of Town
The Babylon Bee - Jul 1st 2022 7:32pm EDTAUSTIN, TX—Governor Greg Abbot has signed into law a bill that deputizes students in Texas classrooms so they can use their lassoes to hog-tie any teachers promoting critical race theory and forcibly drive them out of town.The bill is part of a wider national effort by red states like Texas to combat critical race theory […]
Not Good: Chick-Fil-A’s Thanksgiving Day Parade Float Just Activated Its Laser Eyes
The Babylon Bee - Jul 1st 2022 7:32pm EDTNEW YORK, NY—Well, this isn’t good.
Local Man Waiting For Second Person To Gather So Jesus Can Show Up
The Babylon Bee - Jul 1st 2022 7:32pm EDTThe man, Alex Jameson, sat sipping his iced coffee drink for over an hour as he watched out the window, shaking his head in frustration as his Bible study partner failed to show up, ensuring Christ would not be in their midst that day.
Simone Biles Awarded Second Medal Of Freedom For Backing Out Of First Medal Of Freedom CeremonyREAD: https://babylonbee….
The Babylon Bee - Jul 1st 2022 6:52pm EDTSimone Biles Awarded Second Medal Of Freedom For Backing Out Of First Medal Of Freedom Ceremony READ: https://babylonbee.com/news/simone-biles-awarded-second-medal-of-freedom-for-backing-out-of-first-medal-of-freedom-ceremony/?utm_source=telegram&utm_medium=link&utm_campaign=telegram @TheBabylonBee | Download Our App The Babylon Bee Simone Biles Awarded Second Medal Of Freedom For Backing Out Of First Medal Of Freedom Ceremony WASHINGTON, D.C. — This week, Simone Biles backed out of the upcoming Medal […]
We Asked 3 Christian Men What They Want In A Spouse – Here Are The Top ResponsesREAD: https://babylonbee.com/news/we-ask…
The Babylon Bee - Jul 1st 2022 5:52pm EDTWe Asked 3 Christian Men What They Want In A Spouse – Here Are The Top Responses READ: https://babylonbee.com/news/we-asked-3-christian-men-what-they-want-in-a-spouse-here-are-the-top-responses/?utm_source=telegram&utm_medium=link&utm_campaign=telegram @TheBabylonBee | Download Our App The Babylon Bee We Asked 3 Christian Men What They Want In A Spouse – Here Are The Top Responses Are you a woman? Are you in desperate need of a […]
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