NEW YORK, NY — As the race for mayor of New York intensified, one prominent candidate landed the support of another popular Democrat, as a fake Indian made a public endorsement of a real Indian.
TEXHOMA, TX — Democratic lawmakers who fled the state to disrupt a vote on a new congressional redistricting map could soon find themselves out of a job, as Governor Greg Abbott announced the construction of a giant northern border wall designed to keep them out permanently.
DUBLIN — With outcries coming from various circles over humanitarian crises around the world, Irish President Michael Higgins made a stand and demanded that the United Nations take military action to protect the Shire.
NEW YORK CITY — A Broadway production of Jesus Christ Superstar was interrupted today after the creature known as Gollum hopped on stage and grabbed a microphone.
NEW YORK CITY — A Broadway production of Jesus Christ Superstar was interrupted today after the creature known as Gollum hopped on stage and grabbed a microphone.
WASHINGTON, D.C. — In a heated exchange with CNN’s Jake Tapper, Representative Nancy Pelosi adamantly denied engaging in insider trading, stating that her husband Paul takes care of that.
WASHINGTON, D.C. — People hoping to learn any potentially new details from Jeffrey Epstein’s closest associate were disappointed, as news broke late Friday afternoon that Congress had postponed Ghislaine Maxwell’s testimony until after her death.
SANCTUM SANCTORUM — Doctor Stephen Strange has made known the startling revelation that across 14 million universes, The Late Show With Stephen Colbert bombs in every single one.
The addition of a 90,000 square-foot White House State Ballroom marks the first significant expansion to the White House in over 70 years, but President Trump isn’t done yet.
U.S. — In an awkward turn of events, former President Barack Obama and former presidential hopeful Hillary Clinton reportedly hired the same hitman to kill each other.
LAUSANNE — The upcoming 2028 Olympics in Los Angeles promised to be the most exciting ever with the inclusion of a new event: Women’s Parallel Parking.
U.S. — As preparations geared up for the 2028 presidential election, the Democratic Party unveiled its new campaign slogan of “We Hate Capitalism, Hot Chicks, and the Jews.”
PARIS — In a historic diplomatic milestone, the government of France announced that it was officially recognizing a Palestinian state, and immediately followed it up with an additional announcement that the nation of France had surrendered to it.
CINCINNATI, OH — Local authorities issued a warning advising all white visitors to the city to please make sure they avoid assaulting the fists of black people with their skulls.
CINCINNATI, OH — Local authorities issued a warning advising all white visitors to the city to please make sure they avoid assaulting the fists of black people with their skulls.
U.S. — Newly declassified intelligence files revealed that every politician, government official, and political candidate except Donald Trump colluded with Russia in 2016.
U.S. — Newly declassified intelligence files revealed that every politician, government official, and political candidate except Donald Trump colluded with Russia in 2016.
MINAS TIRITH — Denethor II, son of Ecthelion II, the Steward of Gondor, announced plans to officially recognize Mordor as a sovereign state at an upcoming Council of Men.
MINAS TIRITH — Denethor II, son of Ecthelion II, the Steward of Gondor, announced plans to officially recognize Mordor as a sovereign state at an upcoming Council of Men.
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- Aug 9th 2025 5:17pm EDT