U.S. — Conservatives across the country cheered the death of wokeness as America finally returned to its Christian roots of objectifying women’s bodies to sell stuff.
SAN DIEGO, CA — Authorities have launched an ambitious operation to drop a massive dome over the San Diego Convention Center to keep the Comic-Con smell contained.
NAPERVILLE, IL — A local seeker-sensitive church was attracting a lot of attention this week with an exciting new ad campaign featuring Sydney Sweeney.
The world was abuzz this week with the news that former President Joe Biden had inked a $10 million deal to write his memoir, leading pundits and analysts everywhere to wonder what new information may be contained in the upcoming book.
SAN FRANCISCO, CA — In a bid to improve customer safety, ridesharing app Uber announced a new “Not An Asian” feature on their platform which automatically filters out Asian drivers.
ANAHEIM, CA — A local father who had taken his family to Disneyland was reportedly shocked at how well they were all behaving until he suddenly discovered he was standing with the wrong family.
SAN DIEGO, CA — One attendee of the largest pop culture gathering of the year found himself in hot water, as a guy groping women at Comic Con swore he was just cosplaying as Pedro Pascal.
NEW YORK, NY — In what many were calling the greatest political scandal in American history, the Wall Street Journal confirmed that Donald Trump’s name does, in fact, appear in the article about the Epstein File that was recently written by the Wall Street Journal.
GAZA — Despite reports that multiple men, women, and children had starved to death in the war-torn Gaza Strip as a result of the ongoing Israel-Gaza War, with approximately 50,000 more facing starvation, Hamas sources said they were not “release the hostages” starving.
THE HIGH SEAS — Following the announcement of the show’s annual summer break, the hosts of ABC’s The View revealed they were going on hiatus to tear unwary sailors apart with their talons.
With new reports indicating that President Trump’s administration has reduced the Internal Revenue Service workforce by a staggering 25% since January, tens of thousands of former IRS employees are now looking for work. But what does the job market look like for them?
HEAVEN — What began as a regular day in Heaven was quickly turned upside-down, as legendary sports entertainment icon Hulk Hogan made a surprise entrance to challenge Jacob to a wrestling match.
LOS ANGELES, CA — After seeing the methods Pedro Pascal uses to calm himself in social situations, disgraced entertainment mogul Harvey Weinstein said he was kicking himself for not just saying he had social anxiety years ago.
GREENVILLE, DE — Former President Joe Biden expressed great interest and enthusiasm in his upcoming memoir, adding that he’s quite eager to see what the autopen comes up with for it.
LONDON — BBC News confirmed Wednesday that England is currently being overrun with millions of bats following the passing of heavy metal legend John Michael “Ozzy” Osbourne.
WASHINGTON, D.C. — President Trump announced the details of a historic trade deal with Japan on Wednesday through which he has finally acquired a giant anime sword.
SAN FRANCISCO, CA. — As a new feature to provide a greater level of optimization and representation, ridesharing giant Uber announced that it will begin offering riders a choice of having a woman driver or a good driver.
XINJIANG, CHINA — Ahead of warm-ups for the 2025 WNBA All-Star Game, Uyghur slaves were seen dutifully sewing the words “Pay Us What You Owe Us” onto hundreds of shirts.
NEW YORK, NY — Mere days after CBS announced that it would be discontinuing The Late Show, a disheveled Stephen Colbert was seen on a Manhattan street corner holding up a cardboard sign that read “Will yell about Trump for cash.”
FRANKLIN, KY — A local man is really excited for the government to release all the government documentation of all the government’s crimes, according to sources.
FRANKLIN, KY — A local man is really excited for the government to release all the government documentation of all the government’s crimes, according to sources.
- Aug 9th 2025 5:17pm EDT