U.S. — In the wake of the United States Supreme Court ruling that will effectively prevent district courts from issuing nationwide injunctions, a district court issued a nationwide injunction against the Supreme Court ruling.
SACRAMENTO, CA — Sources close to Gavin Newsom say that the California governor is launching a lawsuit against Governor Gavin Newsom for ruining his political career.
TUSCON, AZ – Local man Jeremy Briggs sadly discovered this week that his wife’s Amazon purchases single-handedly funded billionaire Jeff Bezos’s elaborate Italian wedding.
WASHINGTON, D.C. – In what some are taking as perhaps a bad omen, President Trump responded to the SCOTUS ruling on nationwide injunctions by screaming “UNLIMITED POWER!” and shooting lightning from his fingertips.
ATLANTA, GA — Locals have begun questioning the authenticity of purported Mexican restaurant “El Bandido” as ICE has yet to raid the restaurant a single time.
U.S. — The United States officially celebrated the first anniversary of former President Joe Biden announcing that he had finally defeated Medicare once and for all.
Denis Villeneuve, director of the Dune films, has been tapped to helm the next film in the long-running James Bond film series. But who will play Ian Fleming’s master spy? Sources have said auditions are well underway, and some clear frontrunners are already under consideration.
Denis Villeneuve, director of the Dune films, has been tapped to helm the next film in the long-running James Bond film series. But who will play Ian Fleming’s master spy? Sources have said auditions are well underway, and some clear frontrunners are already under consideration.
WASHINGTON, D.C. — Following the U.S. Supreme Court’s latest ruling in favor of President Trump, Justice Ketanji Brown Jackson penned a scathing rebuke in a dissenting opinion where she simply wrote “Wakanda Forever.”
KISSIMMEE, FL — VBS volunteers at First Baptist Church say that their veteran leader of 20 years was taken up into heaven in a chariot of fire during this year’s closing program.
EAST LONGMEADOW, MA — Congregants said Pastor Michael Boldman set a great example of honesty at Fruit of the Cross Church, where he reportedly bragged about his moderately attractive wife.
CAMBRIDGE, MA — The Department of Homeland Security announced that a massive terrorist sleeper cell was discovered hiding just outside of Boston, Massachusetts.
SALT LAKE CITY, UT — Local woman Rachel Gentry told her husband she’d compromise on her proposal to get a coop full of chickens by letting him do all the work if he let her get the backyard poultry.
SPRINGFIELD, MO — Evidence of things unseen was witnessed by one local believer today, as a man found reassurance of the Lord’s plan in his life after he managed to find the perfect parking spot.
Following his victory in the Democratic Party primary, Zohran Mamdani is now the frontrunner for New York City mayor, and people are wondering what plans he may have in mind for the Big Apple.
NEW YORK — A New Jersey man applying for a job on Wall Street admitted to being nervous going into a job interview at investment banking firm Morgan Stanley and was reportedly holding out hope that the interviewer would ask him how much he knows about Batman.
WASHINGTON, D.C. — Secretary of Defense Pete Hegseth responded to allegations of sexism on Thursday by vowing that the United States military would never discriminate against chicks, broads, or dames.
WASHINGTON, D.C. — Secretary of Defense Pete Hegseth responded to allegations of sexism on Thursday by vowing that the United States military would never discriminate against chicks, broads, or dames.
WASHINGTON, D.C. — Ramifications were predicted to be felt for generations after today, as in a historic 6-3 Supreme Court decision, 3 justices were ruled to be morons.
NEW YORK, NY — Democratic Party strategists were thrilled this week after they stumbled upon an innovative new strategy of winning elections by promising free stuff to stupid people.
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