NEW YORK, NY — Democratic Party strategists were thrilled this week after they stumbled upon an innovative new strategy of winning elections by promising free stuff to stupid people.
TEHRAN — Ayatollah Ruhollah Khomeini declared a resounding victory over the United States and Israel after Iran destroyed 14 American bunker buster bombs with its nuclear facilities.
NEW YORK CITY — After suffering a shocking defeat to a previously little-known socialist, former governor Andrew Cuomo was left groping for answers as to where it all went wrong.
FORT WAYNE, IN — An ecumenical gathering of pastors and laity recently warned that the church in America now faces an impending shortage of sweet, elderly white-haired ladies that give you peppermints.
WASHINGTON, D.C. — Donald Trump’s devout Christian faith is being called into question following an interaction with the press where he used a curse word instead of saying “fudge.”
NEW YORK CITY — Zohran Mamdani, winner of New York City’s mayoral Democratic primary, has vowed to knock down the One World Trade Center in order to build more affordable housing.
Welp, it looks like Trump bombed Iran. The Babylon Bee has assembled headlines from various media outlets here in one place so you can pick a little bit of the truth out of each to learn the whole story.
ORLANDO, FL — Obese air travelers around the country have just announced plans to sit right next to you on your flight.According to morbidly overweight persons scattered throughout America’s airports, you’ll have a large amount of company on every flight you ever take for the rest of your life.”Ope! Sorry, coming through!” said several chubsters […]
WASHINGTON, D.C. — Washington politicians sounded the alarm Tuesday that a ceasefire agreement brokered by President Trump between Israel and Iran may be a slippery slope that leads to peace in the Middle East.
NEW YORK, NY — All eyes have turned toward the New York mayoral primaries, as a new poll indicated that a second edition copy of The Communist Manifesto now holds a sizeable lead over other Democratic Party candidates.
WASHINGTON, D.C. — Ongoing hostilities in the Middle East raised tensions in the nation’s capital as well, with frustrated legislators who fail to meet their responsibilities on a daily basis reminded everyone that launching military actions was their responsibility.
With the world falling apart and the threat of a nuclear holocaust looming each day, everyone can agree that the greatest threat facing humanity is gas-powered cars. That’s why, as an alternative, people are turning to more carbon-friendly vehicles. But which ones are best?
SALT LAKE CITY — The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints has officially launched the first annual BMX Missionary Games, where young missionaries will compete in the arena of BMX sports.
SALT LAKE CITY — The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints has officially launched the first annual BMX Missionary Games, where young missionaries will compete in the arena of BMX sports.
U.S. — Theologians have announced a startling discovery that everyone has been wrong about the book of Revelation for thousands of years. While many assumed it was referring to the end times, the tribulation, and the Second Coming, it now appears to have been written entirely about the War of 1812.
U.S. — Theologians have announced a startling discovery that everyone has been wrong about the book of Revelation for thousands of years. While many assumed it was referring to the end times, the tribulation, and the Second Coming, it now appears to have been written entirely about the War of 1812.
U.S. — Theologians have announced a startling discovery that everyone has been wrong about the book of Revelation for thousands of years. While many assumed it was referring to the end times, the tribulation, and the Second Coming, it now appears to have been written entirely about the War of 1812.
WASHINGTON, D.C. — Tensions continued to escalate both around the world and domestically, as President Donald Trump announced today that he has evidence that Congressman Thomas Massie was only weeks away from acquiring nuclear weapons.
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