INDIANAPOLIS, IN — The Indianapolis Colts unveiled a new trick play where quarterback Philip Rivers fakes a handoff, then jogs off the field to get his wife pregnant again.
OLATHE, KS — A local church gathering was set to offer new insights into life that no one else had ever discovered before, as a small group waited in hushed anticipation, as newlyweds prepared to offer marriage advice to everyone else.
Men, if you’re still looking for love we’ve got a sweet life hack for you today — trick a nice girl into marrying you by hiding your obsessive hobby until after you’ve tied the knot and she’s stuck with you.
The kids are really begging for smartphones this Christmas, but we all know there are potential risks. In lieu of purchasing your child a smartphone, perhaps consider any of these 13 safer alternatives:
U.S. — In a corroboration of what many had long suspected, a new report finally confirmed that the holiday of Kwanzaa had been revealed to be an elaborate prank on white people.
WASHINGTON, D.C. — A $12 billion aid package for the agricultural industry is designed to help American farmers cope with how good the economy is, President Trump announced Monday.
NEW YORK, NY — In a shocking development in the case of a killer charged with murdering a health insurance executive, a New York judge found that Luigi Mangione was too stunningly handsome and gorgeous to stand trial.
NEW YORK, NY — In a shocking development in the case of a killer charged with murdering a health insurance executive, a New York judge found that Luigi Mangione was too stunningly handsome and gorgeous to stand trial.
VATICAN CITY — In the spirit of the Christmas season and as part of his ongoing quest to bring about widespread harmony throughout the world, Pope Leo XIV issued a proclamation urging Jesus and Satan to put all their differences aside in the name of peace.
HOLLYWOOD, CA — In what is expected to be the season’s hottest new movie, filmmakers have unleashed an innovative take on storytelling in which the villain was not portrayed as being misunderstood but instead was just evil.
KINGDOM OF GONDOR — The people of Gondor are beginning to wonder if they should move their capital city of Minas Tirith away from the big fiery shadow mountains filled with orcs that hate them and seem intent on killing them all.
EAST RUTHERFORD, NJ — Rico Dynamite, a long-time Idaho resident and former high school starting quarterback for the Preston Indians, was reportedly signed by the New York Jets in a surprise deal that is sure to win them the championship.
Take it from us as free Americans, Qatar is the greatest country on earth. Way better than America, like way better. And that’s a fact. Don’t believe us? Check out these 12 reasons it’s better than America.
NURN, MORDOR — Political commentator Tucker Carlson has reportedly purchased a piece of property in the land of Mordor, where the shadows lie. This will be Carlson’s fourth house and his first next to a slave camp.
PHOENIX, AZ — Local toddler Carver Brett struck it rich earlier today after the magnetic tile house he built during naptime got listed on Zillow for $280,000.
INDIANAPOLIS, IN — In the wake of controversy over teams being snubbed and left out of the postseason championship tournament, the NCAA reluctantly confirmed that the College Football Playoff selections were made by an alcoholic penguin.
VATICAN CITY — Catholics and Protestants around the world expressed concern this week, as Pope Leo XVI gave his recommendation that Christians pray the rosary while facing in the direction of Mecca.
NEW YORK CITY — Sources close to Gary Bard say that the long-time atheist is looking forward to the warmth and cheer of arbitrary cultural traditions with no transcendent meaning again this year.
U.S. — Movie fans across the country have expressed concern that Warner Bros’ sale to Netflix could lead to comic book movies becoming over-bloated, soulless cash grabs.
PASADENA, CA — A family of Jehovah’s Witnesses continued their annual tradition of piling into the car and going for a drive to look at houses without Christmas lights.
After a bidding war, Netflix has secured a deal to buy Warner Bros. Discovery for a reported $82.7 billion. Once the deal is finalized, fans will notice significant changes to beloved WB properties like Harry Potter, Looney Tunes, and Superman IV: The Quest for Peace.
- Aug 9th 2025 5:17pm EDT