• Tucker the Spear Chucker

    David Cole - Mar 26th 2024 4:04am EDT

    Race sentimentalism is a favorite topic of mine. Having attended majority-black L.A. public schools in the 1980s, and having lived the best years of my life while doing so, I myself am prone to sentimentalism regarding black/white relations, especially after a few drinks (i.e., every waking moment of my day). Whether it’s mainstream conservative sentimentality—“blacks […]

  • How the Hard Right Could Lose an Easy Win

    David Cole - Mar 19th 2024 3:48am EDT

    One more Super Tuesday piece. George Gascon, the Soros-backed mass-murdering district attorney, was up against a slew of candidates looking to take him down. Gascon had to get over 50 percent of the vote to avoid a runoff in our “top two” primary system, and the friend to all rapists and murderers didn’t even come […]

  • Primarily Speaking: Notes From L.A.

    David Cole - Mar 12th 2024 12:00am EDT

    Congratulations, MAGA. You got your Biden/Trump rematch. Just so you know, us opinion journalists were hoping for a long, eventful primary…because we need material. As Eric Swalwell laments to his Chinese concubines, it wasn’t supposed to climax this quick. But climax it has, and only the fanatics are pleased. The “god-king Trump” MAGAs on one […]

  • Immolate to the Party

    David Cole - Mar 5th 2024 12:00am EST

    Last week, murdered college student Laken Riley trended on Twitter, with conservatives pointing out, correctly, that Biden hadn’t said a word about the young life that was violently taken by one of his beloved illegals. Author/strategist Ryan James Girdusky tweeted, “If only people went to the streets to demand change in the name of Laken […]

  • Lyle, Lyle, Crock of Guile

    David Cole - Feb 27th 2024 12:00am EST

    “Amaani Lyle” sounds like a shady dude who lurks in the darkest corners of Times Square selling cheap knockoff suits. “Psst…hey, mister, you wanna designer suit for only $30? Check out my man Lyle! He got so many expensive brands, we call him ‘Amaani Lyle.’” “Shouldn’t that be Armani Lyle?” “Naw, dude, Amaani suits are […]

  • “Experts” Part II: The Dementia Guardrail Paradox

    David Cole - Feb 20th 2024 12:00am EST

    I grew up with a healthy skepticism of doctors. As anyone who knows the Cole origin story is aware, my biological father was the Beverly Hills surgeon/personal physician to the stars who’s accused of killing Elvis by getting him hooked on drugs and feeding his habit. Dr. Cole absolutely was a pusher, and Elvis wasn’t […]

  • “Experts” Part I: Water on the Brain

    David Cole - Feb 13th 2024 12:00am EST

    As I write this, L.A.’s in the middle of a weeklong superstorm of biblical proportions. We’re being pounded harder than Lauren Boebert on a first date. Twelve inches in one night, which breaks L.A.’s record (though not Boebert’s). Remember the merciless September 2022 SoCal heat wave, when every red-state rightist gyuck-gyucker tweeted “L.A. can’t keep […]

  • Cartoon Gun, Real Bullet

    David Cole - Feb 6th 2024 12:00am EST

    A common 1940s Looney Tunes running gag was a dude saying, “Now I’ve seen everything,” then shooting himself in the head. The idea was that once you’ve “seen all there is to see,” you blow your brains out. I’ve known a few suicides in my time, and that’s never been the cause. It’s usually crippling […]

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  • Psychos and Psyops

    David Cole - Jan 30th 2024 12:00am EST

    Can I call ’em or what? From September 2023: “The GOP is lucky as hell that Dems haven’t realized just how unstoppable a ‘1994 Democrat’ would be today, especially in city and state elections.” By “1994 Democrat” I meant a Dem who’s tough on crime, against open borders, and not into the tranny shit (which […]

  • The Final Solution to the Rightist Problem

    David Cole - Jan 23rd 2024 12:00am EST

    1991–1994: the heyday of “Holocaust revisionism” in America, with four major national TV shows (60 Minutes, 48 Hours, Montel Williams, Phil Donahue) giving “revisionists” coverage. I had the unfortunate distinction of being the only dude to appear on all four programs. During every show, my colleagues and I would face a simple question, usually from […]

  • “Screw the Jews” Might Bring Bad News

    David Cole - Jan 16th 2024 12:00am EST

    Last week we talked about overcorrection. This week, let’s see how the right’s gonna use that shotgun to blow off its remaining toes. As I pointed out last year, the GOP goes into 2024 with several strikes against it, at a time when, under different circumstances, the election would be a cinch considering the massive […]

  • The Putz and the Pendulum

    David Cole - Jan 9th 2024 12:00am EST

    My 2023 word of the year was “intractable”—problems that aren’t going away. Dysgenic black America, the Israel/Palestinian conflict. Every proposed “final solution” is a fantasy (“national divorce!” “White homeland!” “Two-State!” “From the river to the sea!”). So now I present 2024’s word of the year: overcorrection. In short, overcorrection is when something requires remedy, but […]

  • Year-End Cleanup, Part II

    David Cole - Jan 2nd 2024 12:00am EST

    As we ring in 2024, here’s Part II of my annual “bits that didn’t merit a full column but I still want to get them off my chest” year-end rant. Santos and Sinners A prediction: George Santos will become the J6 of 2024. Rightists will once again allow themselves to be maneuvered into not just […]

  • Year-End Cleanup, Part I

    David Cole - Dec 26th 2023 2:15am EST

    I usually take it easy on myself for my Christmas and New Year’s pieces by penning less labor-intensive columns. In part because I love the season too much to get bogged down by weighty matters, and in part because I assume that my readers are too busy with family and friends to want anything heavy. […]

  • A New Yuletide Tradition

    David Cole - Dec 23rd 2023 4:25pm EST

    Read The Week That Perished and subscribe to Takimag! Buy me a beer! Merry Christmas! Leave a comment Subscribe now

  • Calvin and Hobbled

    David Cole - Dec 19th 2023 4:58am EST

    Here’s a little secret regarding opinion pieces: It’s all about “angle.” You look at something in the news, and you find an interesting angle for your readers. Case in point: the recent L.A. freeway fire that crippled the I-10 Downtown. As there’d been a homeless encampment under that stretch, the angle for conservatives was obvious: […]

  • Oh Sadist, Can You See

    David Cole - Dec 12th 2023 12:00am EST

    At Christmastime, I tend to gravitate toward lighter topics. Because why befoul such a wondrous season with ugliness? So on a lighter note, last week a BBC Kelsey Grammer interview went off the rails after the Frasier star was asked if he supports Donald Trump. Grammer said yes and then tried to redirect the interview […]

  • ‘Tis the Season…for Dave

    David Cole - Dec 4th 2023 2:06pm EST

    HAPPY DECEMBER! Here’s a new video. And I know…roughly 20 of you right now are saying “What? WHAT? The free content Substack I voluntarily subscribed to of my own volition is posting new free content? This shall not stand! I must UNSUBSCRIBE, as I am incurably retarded and do not understand the cause and effect […]

  • The Right’s Derek Chauvinism

    David Cole - Nov 28th 2023 12:00am EST

    Quick quiz: Who was Jerry Parr? Don’t Google it, that’s cheating! Without looking it up, do you know who he was? Odds are, you don’t. Jerry Parr was the Secret Service agent in charge of protecting Ronald Reagan on the day he was shot in 1981. When the gunfire began, Parr pushed Reagan into the […]

  • Sieg Nile! The Nazi/Muslim Question

    David Cole - Nov 21st 2023 12:57am EST

    I love it when the world catches up to Dave! Last week proved that my favorite obsessions can go mainstream (I look forward to the day when my newest fetish, “Never leave the house and drink yourself to death,” becomes what all the cool kids do). Two separate videos, both relating to Israel/Gaza, went viral. […]

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  • Bunny Dreams and Abortion Nightmares

    David Cole - Nov 14th 2023 3:52am EST

    This week—a lesson from a “bunny.” You’re likely familiar with Twitchy, rightist aggregator of the left’s wild and wackiest tweets. Twitchy was founded by Old Granny Malkin (ever since Michelle Malkin tried to preserve her faded youth and relevance by hooking up with child Nazis, I can’t think of her without seeing the “let’s haul […]

  • The Abyss Gazas Back

    David Cole - Nov 6th 2023 11:52pm EST

    Enough with Gaza. I’ve done three columns in a row on Oygenflaygin vs. Akbar, and that’s plenty. If there’s one thing I despise about opinion columnists, it’s the fetish of covering the daily “big thing.” So this week’s column will be an in-depth examination of why the “Angels of Death” episode of the 1970s British […]

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  • Halloween Bonus – The SPOOKIEST Film Ever Made!

    David Cole - Oct 31st 2023 5:21pm EDT

    Happy Halloween! If you’re looking for something spook-spook-spookifying to watch tonight, have I got a treat for you! In 2010 I had the honor of participating in the full restoration of Thomas Edison’s 1910 15-minute silent film masterpiece “Frankenstein.” To mark the movie’s centennial, we restored it with Edison’s original title cards. This is the […]

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  • Wailing (at a) Wall

    David Cole - Oct 31st 2023 11:52am EDT

    I’ve no next of kin. When I die, I have no idea what’s gonna happen to my house. Not that I don’t have a plan: After I stroke out on my bedroom floor, my corpse will putrefy and the stank will be absorbed into the floorboards, so when Persians buy my house for a song, […]

  • A Hard-Drinkin’ Hebe’s Halloween Hijinks!

    David Cole - Oct 30th 2023 3:25pm EDT

    Okay, get ready to UNSUBSCRIBE because the free content account you signed up for is posting free content. UNTHUBTHCRIBE! UNTHUBTHCRIBE! Or, watch the video. Lord knows I don’t make money from this shit, so either way, it don’t bother me none. Speaking of which, BUY ME A BEER. BUY ME A BEER! Leave a comment […]