News From David Cole

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  • Christmas Snow and Black Dealers

    David Cole - Dec 24th 2024 12:00am EST

    Ah, my annual Christmas column, where I get to write about anything that tickles my fancy. So about the New Avengers “Angels of Death” episode… Okay, okay, sorry. I’ve run that joke into the ground enough for one lifetime. But here’s a story I don’t think I’ve ever shared…the time I saved Chynna Phillips’ life. […]

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  • Health-Care Assassin’s Creed

    David Cole - Dec 17th 2024 1:17am EST

    I don’t want to come off as lacking empathy, even though I do indeed lack empathy. The assassination of UnitedHealthcare CEO Brian Thompson is reassuring. Not because he deserved to die. Certainly he didn’t. And not because it’s cool to make a political statement by murdering someone. It isn’t. But there are so many random, […]

  • I Yelled at a Mongolian Stoner

    David Cole - Dec 15th 2024 1:08pm EST

    With my current Takimag piece about food delivery dangers burning up the charts (here it is if you haven’t read it yet), it’s a typical Dave in the life that I’d encounter my worst food delivery guy ever yesterday. That it was a stoner Mongol just makes it funnier. This is not my best drunken […]

  • Five-Pointed Stars, Many Pointed Pinheads

    David Cole - Dec 10th 2024 12:00am EST

    Ah, the most wonderful time of the year! In 2024 Christmas Day coincides with the first day of Hanukkah. And for you far-rightists, you know what that means: Christian children ripping open presents, Jews ripping open Christian children (the preceding was a paid message from the Candace Owens Institute of Jewish Baby-Eating Awareness, soon to […]

  • Happy Christmas, Friends

    David Cole - Dec 7th 2024 4:48pm EST

    I appreciate this platform that allows me to remain in touch with the people I used to be in contact with before getting banned everywhere else. And I try to be honest with you guys. Because (to quote Orson Welles) isn’t that the fun of it? There’s a liberating joy in dropping pretense. So that’s […]

  • Salmonella, Delivered!

    David Cole - Dec 3rd 2024 12:00am EST

    You need to start taking semen more seriously. As in, not wanting to ingest it. Unless, of course, that’s your thing. But enough about Nick Fuentes. An unfortunately common type of story in the news these days involves food delivery drivers defiling orders with everything from spit to semen. The sentence “My dinner’s made better […]

  • The Democrat Death Cackle Was Newsom’s All Along

    David Cole - Nov 26th 2024 12:00am EST

    The thing that made Kamala’s cackle so irritating was that she’d do it when nobody else in the room was laughing. “I know, right? It’s hilarious, RIGHT? Guh-GLACK-guh-GLACKLE!” but nobody else was with her on the joke. From a comedy perspective, it’s fine to laugh at a joke that the audience didn’t appreciate. Dennis Miller […]

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  • The Week That Perished: Cowgoys and Indians

    David Cole - Nov 24th 2024 6:48pm EST

    In this week’s Week: Newsom gives Injuns a statewide boot, Frozen Punjabis are kind of a hoot. Leftist scores points against “reparations” loot, “Spicy Latinas” are no longer cute, Matt Gaetz and his boy-band are ordered to scoot. The Week That Perished As always, if you get a laugh please BUY ME A BEER! * […]

  • Dear MAGA: What if You Were Wrong?

    David Cole - Nov 19th 2024 2:25am EST

    I have a question for MAGA following Trump’s blowout victory against a cackling cretinous curry-stained flesh-and-blood Thalia mask: How could it have happened? According to the rule you’ve lived by for four years, a rule that made you storm the Capitol, assault cops, destroy property, and, in some cases, die yourselves, trampled under the feet […]

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  • The Razzle-Dazzle Wrap-Up of Everything

    David Cole - Nov 12th 2024 12:00am EST

    Our long national nightmare is over. Or is it just starting? I’m writing this at 5 a.m. on the 6th. A few postelection notes; nothing heavy. Angel George Floyd earns his hot wings Thanks to the fentanyl-fueled check kite-flyer, the Dems forced Biden to choose a black woman for his VP in 2020. Karen Bass, […]

  • The Week That Perished: Rats and Democrats

    David Cole - Nov 10th 2024 6:43pm EST

    In this week’s Week: Harris floats away, The Swiss don’t miss a slay. Rodents invade L.A., Meet black genius Tasshay, And in Florida you’re DOA. Yes, it turns out that my rat problem from earlier in the year is actually the entire county’s problem. We’re lousy with rats. Then again, we just got rid of […]

  • I Love L.A.

    David Cole - Nov 6th 2024 1:00pm EST

    This’ll be a brief post, because I’m two sake bottles to the wind. But my great county, L.A., just kicked the living shit out of demonic George Soros and his minion, murderous district attorney George Gascon. Soros and all his billions couldn’t defeat this great county. And statewide, we approved Prop. 36, ending the decriminalization […]

  • I Love L.A.

    David Cole - Nov 6th 2024 1:00pm EST

    This’ll be a brief post, because I’m two sake bottles to the wind. But my great county, L.A., just kicked the living shit out of demonic George Soros and his minion, murderous district attorney George Gascon. Soros and all his billions couldn’t defeat this great county. And statewide, we approved Prop. 36, ending the decriminalization […]

  • Tall (but True) Tales From the Casting Room

    David Cole - Nov 5th 2024 12:00am EST

    Having a column that runs Monday/Tuesday means I’m forever doomed to post the evening before/day of elections. And today? You’re on edge. Everyone is. So I’ll take my cue from Sting, January 19, 1991. He had the unenviable task of hosting SNL right as the Desert Storm ground offensive began (America’s first large-scale war since […]

  • The Week That Perished: Viagra Falls

    David Cole - Nov 3rd 2024 4:46pm EST

    In this week’s Week: October brought no big surprise, Bannon breaks his prison ties. Dodgers riot as Yankees choke, Pee-pee enhancer in Chinese Coke, And a proud black mama goes for a soak. The Week That Perished As always, if you get a laugh, BUY ME A BEER! * Did you have a good Halloween? […]

  • The Rothenberg Principle

    David Cole - Oct 29th 2024 2:56am EDT

    Remember Charles Rothenberg? Hopefully not, as it’s a most unpleasant memory. In the early 1980s, Rothenberg was locked in a bitter custody dispute with his wife, Marie, over their 6-year-old son David. Charles and Marie lived in New York. Rothenberg had visitation rights, but he was convinced that his ex was trying to curb them. […]

  • The Week That Perished: Gene Pool Drowners

    David Cole - Oct 27th 2024 5:07pm EDT

    The lead story in this week’s Week is about blacks and swimming, a topic we’ve covered before, and it really is astounding the extent to which this issue continues to crop up, not with “cold fries” frequency, but running a close second. Back in my majority-black high school, it was a running gag that we […]

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  • Happy Friday: Ol’ Dave Actually Scores a Win!

    David Cole - Oct 25th 2024 3:09pm EDT

    Looking back over the years (and whatever else that appears) I’m struck by how little my internal needle has moved regarding social/political matters. In my majority-black high school, as much as I was everybody’s pal, I was nevertheless against Affirmative Action and “black privilege” and I was very pro-cop. I was that way then, I’m […]

  • Hitler & Halloween…It’s a Winning Combination!

    David Cole - Oct 22nd 2024 3:37pm EDT

    First off, this week’s column: how idiot Boomer and Gen X conservatives created a plague of Zoomer Hitler fanboys. Just boys enjoying the company of boys. The tall one grew up to be Milo Yiannopoulos If’n you like it, please consider buying me a beer! The column: Fatigue Heil * Now to the REALLY spooky […]

  • Fatigue Heil

    David Cole - Oct 22nd 2024 12:00am EDT

    You think I enjoy talking about Hitler? Like, I have some bizarre fetish for the guy? Believe me, it annoys me as much as it does you. I’m fatigued by it. But, for better or worse (spoiler: worse), we’re neck-deep in Hitler this election, with a half-dozen GOP candidates (not fringies but party-endorsed) having expressed, […]

  • The Week That Perished: Blacks, Beans, and Time Machines

    David Cole - Oct 20th 2024 2:00pm EDT

    In this week’s Week: Mexican party-gunmen toast a Paloma, “Black scholars” get bullets in their diploma. Palestinian terrorists go back in time, CNN’s Gabe Cohen’s trail of slime, And journalism THIS bad should be a crime! The Week That Perished As always, if you get a laugh, please BUY ME A BEER! * And now, […]

  • The Week That Perished: Blacks, Beans, and Time Machines

    David Cole - Oct 20th 2024 2:00pm EDT

    In this week’s Week: Mexican party-gunmen toast a Paloma, “Black scholars” get bullets in their diploma. Palestinian terrorists go back in time, CNN’s Gabe Cohen’s trail of slime, And journalism THIS bad should be a crime! The Week That Perished As always, if you get a laugh, please BUY ME A BEER! * And now, […]

  • Burn the Barn

    David Cole - Oct 15th 2024 1:28am EDT

    Sometimes it’s beneficial to break down a bad argument. To dissect it, deconstruct it, disassemble it. Get to the heart of why it stinks. To put it more crassly, a dog turd looks bad enough on your front lawn. But bring it in the house, chop it up, examine it under a microscope? It looks […]

  • Ty-Wreak

    David Cole - Oct 8th 2024 12:00am EDT

    Years ago I wrote about how, among “race realists,” there are essentially two extremes: David Duke and Jared Taylor. Team black and team Jew. To paraphrase the Taylor position (and I stress that I’m paraphrasing here; my friend Jared is far more erudite than I): “Jews are white. Yes, they can be a pain in […]

  • Ty-Wreak

    David Cole - Oct 8th 2024 12:00am EDT

    Years ago I wrote about how, among “race realists,” there are essentially two extremes: David Duke and Jared Taylor. Team black and team Jew. To paraphrase the Taylor position (and I stress that I’m paraphrasing here; my friend Jared is far more erudite than I): “Jews are white. Yes, they can be a pain in […]