News From David Cole

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  • Dave Solves the Case of the Bitcoin Nazi!

    David Cole - Dec 1st 2025 4:01pm EST

    The hulking Hispanic Bitcoin broker bore down on me with menace. Murder was in his eyes, and in his heart, hatred muy picante (with a side of guac). Would I make it out alive? Of course I would you idiots, or I wouldn’t be writing this. Okay, okay, I know last week I promised, “no […]

  • Hillelbilly Elegy

    David Cole - Nov 24th 2025 12:38pm EST

    Once per century, Nazis make a Jew do this… So yeah, I give up. You want Nazis, you got ‘em. The right has decided that the magical key to unending victory is Nazis. Time will tell. Well, not to you; time means nothing to you because you can’t process events that displease you. When Nazism […]

  • Does Jew-Hatred Win Elections for the Right?

    David Cole - Nov 12th 2025 6:30pm EST

    Why does Holocaust denial sell so well to the far-right? Why is the far-right so susceptible to it? Well, the obvious answer is that it’s an inherently anti-Jewish ideology; it paints Jews as the “fathers of the lie” who crafted a massive hoax to trick the world into seeing heroic Nazis as villains and villainous […]

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  • Walsh, Kelly, and the Gatekeepers of Hell

    David Cole - Nov 8th 2025 2:58pm EST

    Robert Barnes is a bald fat fuck. A self-appointed “lawyer for the damned” (and podcast host) whose biggest accomplishment was successfully representing Wesley Snipes against the IRS (“I got a jury to side with a popular movie star against the most hated government agency in history. I must be a GREAT attorney!”), Barnes is a […]

  • Ready for the Great Nazi Shift?

    David Cole - Nov 3rd 2025 5:00pm EST

    You guys know that I like keeping things light these days. Serious was for Takimag, and them days is over. But I’ll get a little uncharacteristically weighty this week…maybe I have something I need to get off my chest, maybe I just wanna be on record calling something as I did eight years ago when […]

  • Dave’s Annual Halloween Tradition!

    David Cole - Oct 30th 2025 2:54pm EDT

    No politics this week. After all, what would I write about? Tucker platforming Nick Fuentes? The difficulty of writing a book against Holocaust denial when the Tucker/Fuentes interview got 11 million views in less than 24 hours, mainstreaming Holocaust denial to an extent that I could never hope to combat with the boutique historical publishing […]

  • RIP Tucker Column

    David Cole - Oct 24th 2025 2:49pm EDT

    Remember, folks: it’s only $10 a year to leave a comment, a policy I enacted reluctantly to get rid of a spammer who kept creating dummy accounts when I’d ban him. Click here to subscribe! I couldn’t possibly have made it cost less. The column I’ve been teasing for several weeks now, the one explaining […]

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  • Newsom Gets Trump Half-Right, Rightists Get Themselves All Wrong

    David Cole - Oct 14th 2025 3:56pm EDT

    GOLDEN SHOWERING OUR OWN PARADE Observing the gibbon parade that is the current U.S. “right,” I’m struck by the frustratingly reliable talent of rightists to step on their own dicks. How can people with such tiny tadgers manage such a feat? Dickstomp I: Dense for the Defense Rightists had exactly what they wanted, and needed, […]

  • Milo Cocks His Gun (Correction: “Guns His Cock”)

    David Cole - Oct 3rd 2025 2:03pm EDT

    Experimenting with a new thing: a Friday wrap-up of the week’s wackiest. Let’s see how this flies with my 60 regular readers (wait…more unsubs? Make that 52). If I get at least $100 before next Friday via Buy Me a Beer or GiveSendGo, I’ll keep it going! So c’mon you merry 52. Step up! More […]

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  • Charlie, Candace, Tucker, Megyn, & You: Make It Make Sense

    David Cole - Sep 29th 2025 1:23pm EDT

    The MAGA mind is so byzantine yet simple, so fevered yet placid, so overloaded yet empty, it can be a chore to parse. How can a people be, at once, single cell organism-level obvious and also Chinaman-level inscrutable? Ah, the mysteries of MAGA. So help me out, okay? Because I require assistance slicing through this […]

  • Bonus Column: Poo Man Blues

    David Cole - Sep 26th 2025 1:46pm EDT

    Normally I only do one column a week, so consider this a bonus. Also, consider it a reminder that if you want to leave comments, you have to sign up for a paid subscription. It’s only $10 a year. I could not possibly have made it any cheaper. And it was a move necessitated by […]

  • COMMENTS ARE BACK!

    David Cole - Sep 23rd 2025 11:05am EDT

    As explained in last week’s post, a Holocaust denier has been spamming the comments, creating a hundred dummy accounts per night to ruin each thread, moving faster than I could ban him, and Substack tech support wouldn’t help. So I had no recourse but to set comments for paid subscribers only…a problem because I’ve never […]

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  • The End of Dave’s Substack???

    David Cole - Sep 16th 2025 11:13am EDT

    This is not what I wanted to run this week. I was gonna post about Tucker Carlson personally telling me to “fuck off.” A totally true story, with a fascinating lead-up and import beyond the hilarious sight of Tuck getting so furious he stops “a-haw-haw-hawing” and goes full Def Jam comedian on me. But sadly, […]

  • “Maybe there wouldn’t have been a Holocaust, right?”

    David Cole - Sep 8th 2025 5:00pm EDT

    Okay guys, confession time from ol’ Dave. I’m disheartened. The 2nd edition of Republican Party Animal will be rolling off the presses next month (hopefully), brand-new 2,000-word foreword, shocking new 10,000-word epilogue. I dragged my feet on the final approval of my copy editor’s proofing, which worked out well as I was able to include […]

  • Dave vs. Grok

    David Cole - Aug 28th 2025 1:58pm EDT

    (Thanks to reader and friend Gina who suggested I do an Amazon wish list for my b-day. Here you go – four reasonably-priced shirts I like!) Now on to the column. Will you numbskulls stop it with the Grok already? Musk’s made Imagine free for all. Go create, I don’t know, porn of cheerleaders blowing […]

  • The Great Laundry Massacre

    David Cole - Aug 17th 2025 5:26pm EDT

    This week’s Substack is gonna be something light. If that perturbs you, indeed, if it fills you with rage, consider just not reading it, instead of unsubbing like a petulant tard frustrated by shoelaces. I’m hard at work on my next book. All day all night it’s “Holocaust Holocaust Holocaust” (or as SS-Aufseherin Jan Brady […]

  • The “I Quit” Column I Never Published at Takimag

    David Cole - Aug 5th 2025 3:41pm EDT

    Like Nick Fuentes ass-boning a tranny, life comes in you fast! Sorry, “at” you. After I decided to sell my house in early April, I also decided to quit Takimag. And I wrote what I thought would be my final column. I didn’t mention any of this to Taki or his daughter; I still wanted […]

  • Book Update – Republican Party Animal is BACK!

    David Cole - Aug 2nd 2025 1:19pm EDT

    Man, I got SLAUGHTERED with unsubs from my last piece. Why that piece? Why did that one prompt an exodus? Who knows. Unsubbers are by definition retarded. They sign up for free content totally knowing who I am, then they get the free content and storm off in a huff. I hate ‘em. And I […]

  • Update! And TERROR IN AISLE FIVE!

    David Cole - Jul 29th 2025 3:28pm EDT

    The homeless high-rise life is proving quite agreeable to ol’ Dave. I wake up to the best view in the city, and it gets even better at sunset. Century City at sunset. I have to confess something: I never lived in Beverly Hills. My house was actually in Beverlywood, the upscale private community across the […]

  • How to Lose the Immigration Fight

    David Cole - Jul 17th 2025 10:59am EDT

    The worst thing about the “stollen 2020 election” claim becoming canon on the right is that it’s helped wash the soft-brains of MAGAs of any notion that there exists a political pendulum. The reality of that pendulum – the electorate swings right, then left, then right – has never been questioned, the same way cows […]

  • Aphrodisiac Dave!!! Nazi Babe Magnet

    David Cole - Jul 11th 2025 9:06am EDT

    Remember in 2022 when Trump’s favorite Naziboi Darren Beattie said of me, “He’s just an ugly dumb guy?” Well Trump’s own Justice Department just released a report claiming that I’m the female far-right’s most powerful aphrodisiac! “Ugly dumb guy,” eh? Turns out, Darren, that your Eva Braun cosplay wife masturbates to me nightly. I’m kidding […]

  • Z-Man’s R-Tards

    David Cole - Jul 7th 2025 5:52pm EDT

    Hope y’all had a wonderful July 4th! Me? I got drunk and watched fireworks. The Cheviot Hills fireworks — previously seen only from ground-level at my house, now viewed from above: Last week’s piece about Z Man, the late lamentable bearded faggon, made me the target of Z Man’s WHITE KNIGHT ARMY! A great irony. […]

  • The “Z Man” Story

    David Cole - Jun 30th 2025 2:10pm EDT

    Okay, this is just downright odd. Eerie, even. Thursday night I’m sitting in my hotel room thinkin’ of the next Substack to write. I try to alternate between my “homeless Dave” travelogues and matters of political or ideological import. And I sez to myself I sez, “one of the questions I was most frequently asked […]

  • Penthouse Dave!

    David Cole - Jun 27th 2025 6:33pm EDT

    A few updates and scattered musings. Meaning that many of you will unsubscribe. You unsubbers are a nutty breed. Back when I was writing for Taki’s, and I’d post something political here, you’d be like “why should I sub here when you’re posting the same stuff you do at Takimag?” But when I started chronicling […]

  • The FORBIDDEN Takimag Pieces!

    David Cole - Jun 23rd 2025 6:04pm EDT

    During the ten-plus years I wrote a weekly column for Takimag, and the five years I did The Week That Perished as well, there were a couple of times I was told to back off. Then in the final month of my tenure, April 2025, that “couple” became “many.” But let’s not get ahead of […]