News From David Cole, Page 10
Yellow Imperil?
David Cole - Mar 23rd 2021 4:21am EDTOperation Slippery Slope has hit a snag: too many casualties from friendly fire. From its official launch in January, Slippery Slope was an ill-conceived aktion with a smoky objective. The plan was fairly simple: Scour local news for all instances in which an Asian person was assaulted by a stranger. Present those incidents with no […]
Spicy White and Urban Blight
David Cole - Mar 15th 2021 8:00pm EDTL.A.’s criminal underclass has only just realized that the county’s Covid-mandated outdoor dining lends itself well to grab ’n’ go robberies (amazing the revelation didn’t occur earlier, but low IQ leads to terrible R&D). The MO is simple: Case the patrons from the sidewalk—look for purses, watches, wallets on tables. Then just reach over the […]
Which Way White-Enough Western Man?
David Cole - Mar 10th 2021 2:45pm ESTRemember that wacky wagon train known to history as the Donner Party? Eighty-seven souls stranded during a particularly nasty winter while making the trek from Missouri to California in 1846. Party members starved, froze, and some resorted to cannibalism. Of the 87 who began the journey, only 48 finished it. But if there was a […]
Tea and Racial Sympathy
David Cole - Mar 10th 2021 2:45pm ESTHey, white people! Have you had your “racial sympathy index” measured lately? Or ever? No? Nazis! Well, whether you know it or not, the “racial sympathy index” is a thing. Is it a good thing? Take a wild guess. Jennifer Chudy is an assistant professor of political science and the Knafel Assistant Professor of the […]
Feet of Clay Stamping on a Human Face
David Cole - Feb 23rd 2021 12:59am ESTIn last week’s column, after months of being stonewalled I finally confronted one of the authors of a “scientific study” that purported to prove that last summer’s BLM riots actually made the Covid pandemic better. Last year, that study was paraded around like a victorious quarterback atop the shoulders of a cheering media grateful to […]
BLM and Covid: Dissecting a Questionable Study
David Cole - Feb 15th 2021 7:00pm EST“Scientists” don’t impress me. I’m the progeny of one of the best of ’em, and I know how the sausage is made. A smart enough “scientist” can finesse any study to reflect a predetermined conclusion. Scientists go where the grant money is. And they go where the government and corporate jobs are. And nowadays, in […]
Follow the Science…Off a Cliff
David Cole - Feb 9th 2021 12:43am ESTMeet Paul Goldner. Paul Goldner is a jerk. Paul Goldner is also a teacher, which makes him a dangerous jerk. He’s a high school physics teacher in Newbury, Mass., and a Triton Regional School District Committee member. Paul Goldner wants to keep schools closed. He’s an obedient leftist who thinks in-person learning is genocide, because […]
The Con Is (Back) On!
David Cole - Feb 1st 2021 7:00pm ESTBack again like a boomerang Same old stand, same old gang Back in business with a bang Let the good times roll! —“Back in Business,” from the movie Dick Tracy Stephen Sondheim’s less-than-classic song is employed in a less-than-classic movie for a music montage portraying the unbridled joy of the crime bosses and petty hoods […]
How Do You Solve a Problem Like a MAGA Part II: Tard Harder
David Cole - Jan 26th 2021 6:43am ESTThere are two courses of action that MAGAs can take in the wake of the debacle that was 1/6: learn from one of the worst strategic disasters in American political history, or, conversely, don’t learn a damn thing. Because what’s a mistake if not something to deny and repeat? That’s the choice: be less tarded, […]
How Do You Solve a Problem Like a MAGA?
David Cole - Jan 19th 2021 2:59am ESTSometimes you chase the story, and sometimes the story chases you. Two weeks ago I’m walkin’ through Century City, the business, residential, and dining district adjoining Beverly Hills. This is familiar territory to me; it’s home. So I know— Wait a minute…isn’t that the exact same opening as my Dec. 8 column? What gives? 2021 […]
Well, That Went Great
David Cole - Jan 12th 2021 3:35am ESTFucking idiots. Oh, did I violate the unwritten rule that crass language is most effectively employed as punctuation for effect rather than, say, an opening statement? If so, my apologies. Now back to the cussing. “Fuck you…WAR.” Thousands of you tweeted that old Breitbart clip last week, back when you were still ON Twitter, before […]
Soros Soars, GOP Cowards Cower
David Cole - Jan 4th 2021 7:00pm ESTI devoted my Dec. 15 column to newly elected Los Angeles County District Attorney George Gascón and his benefactor George Soros. Gascón has one goal: to put the people of L.A. at the mercy of criminals. He’s the face of anarcho-tyranny, and George Soros is the wallet. The night after my column, Tucker Carlson devoted […]
Dr. Kizzmekia Corbett Presents “Wacky Vaxxers!”
David Cole - Dec 29th 2020 8:21am ESTIf I were Dr. Kizzmekia Corbett, I’d cool it with the boasting. I’m a bit more weathered and wizened than the 34-year-old immunologist currently being touted as the “curer of Covid,” and one lesson I’ve gleaned from my many years on this earth is that life loves comedic setups and satisfying punchlines. Opinion assholes like […]
Ho Ho Ho! Dave’s Back for a Christmas Eve Special!
David Cole - Dec 24th 2020 12:06pm EST
The GOP’s Big Black Suicide Tent
David Cole - Dec 22nd 2020 3:51am ESTThere are “bad” takes, and then there are takes that make you stop dead in your tracks, stare blankly ahead, and say to yourself, “Well, we’re fucked.” Liz Peek is a Wall Street and petroleum industry cockroach who’s become an unavoidable presence these days on Fox News, where she’s a regular contributor on air (Varney […]
Something Worse Than Voter Fraud
David Cole - Dec 15th 2020 3:24am ESTYeah, voter fraud is real. Yeah, Democrats excel at it. But the current obsession on the right with voter fraud (genuine and imagined) carries with it the potential to do far more damage long-term than the fraud itself. Rightists have a tendency to become obsessed with flights of fancy, and as I see the rise […]
Something Worse Than Voter Fraud
David Cole - Dec 15th 2020 3:24am ESTYeah, voter fraud is real. Yeah, Democrats excel at it. But the current obsession on the right with voter fraud (genuine and imagined) carries with it the potential to do far more damage long-term than the fraud itself. Rightists have a tendency to become obsessed with flights of fancy, and as I see the rise […]
40 Acres and a Mall
David Cole - Dec 7th 2020 7:01pm ESTSometimes you chase the story, and sometimes the story chases you. Two weeks ago I’m walkin’ through Century City, the business, residential, and dining district adjoining Beverly Hills. This is familiar territory to me; it’s home. So I know when something’s not right. Like the bus full of black folks that came barreling past me […]
No Recount Needed: China Won
David Cole - Dec 1st 2020 3:34am ESTPoor old Tucker Carlson. All the man’s trying to do is educate you poor slobs about facts and evidence, and you turn on him like jackals for his measured rationalism. Tuck is facing a backlash among rightists for his caution regarding Trump lawyer/not Trump lawyer/maybe Trump lawyer Sidney Powell’s “dingoes ate me ballots” election fraud […]
California Secedes From Black America
David Cole - Nov 24th 2020 2:36am EST
I have several close friends who moved from California to Arizona to live in “redder” territory. This has not been a good month for them. AZ’s turning bluer than the balls on an Elder Scrolls neckbeard. And even if you want to scream “voter fraud” regarding the Biden win, the fact is that Arizonans haven’t […]The Failer Strategy, Part II: Sooper Sleuths and “Great Men”
David Cole - Nov 17th 2020 2:50am EST“If the rule you followed brought you to this, of what use was the rule?” —Anton Chigurh, No Country for Old Men Like it or not, fair or unfair, Trump is finished as president. And while most of the postmortems being conducted at the moment focus on Trump’s failures and poor decisions, I’d prefer to […]
The Failer Strategy
David Cole - Nov 10th 2020 3:35am ESTWhy’s everybody so glum? Don’t you know the Durham Report is gonna drop any second now? Oh boy, I can’t wait to see Obama and Hitlery led off in cuffs! Yep, the indictments are being written as we speak. So hold tight; it’s coming! That’s comforting, right? That’ll get you through the next few weeks. […]
Immunity for the Speech Suppressors
David Cole - Nov 3rd 2020 2:51am ESTNovember 3rd…election day. There’s not much a man of my years can do at a time like this but think back to elections past. And at the moment I’m thinking of Friday, November 4th, 1988, four days before America had the privilege of choosing between two of the most uninspiring bowls of soggy Minute Rice […]
Happy HOLO-ween!
David Cole - Oct 31st 2020 12:05pm EDTDownstreaming a Conservative Reaming
David Cole - Oct 26th 2020 8:00pm EDTWith seven days to go until the election, there’s no way a weekly columnist can keep up with the rapid-fire developments that’ll surely be cracklin’ like a burning log on Fox and CNN as we speak. So I’m not even gonna try. Instead, let’s talk about movies. And maybe I’ll stumble into something relevant along […]
