News From David Cole, Page 6

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  • The Week That Perished? Unthubthcribe!

    David Cole - Jun 16th 2024 2:08pm EDT

    There was no “Friday exclusive content” last week, and I’ll add none today for The Week. Why? Because every time I post new content, I lose subscribers. Conversely, when I post nothing, I gain them…rapidly. You people do know that’s insane, right? You SIGN UP for free content, you RECEIVE it, then you UNTHUBTHCRIBE in […]

  • This Week’s Column: Calling Out the Speech Warriors

    David Cole - Jun 11th 2024 4:27pm EDT

    This week’s Substack “extra?” Me bitching. This is becoming the worst sober month EVER. Not because I’m “yearning for booze”…I never “yearn” for booze; I really can quit when I need to for my health. But WHEN I do a sober month, I like to take advantage of the two main benefits I get from […]

  • Fight to the Death for Death!

    David Cole - Jun 11th 2024 12:00am EDT

    Here’s a wacky anecdote for ya. April 30, 1998, 3:30 p.m. My girlfriend Sarah and I had just gotten back from lunch at Red Lobster (I’m not black, neither was she. But damn we loved fried fish), and she had to speed off to an audition for boobie bimbo No. 2 in Attack of the […]

  • A Special PRIDE MONTH Week That Perished!

    David Cole - Jun 9th 2024 3:58pm EDT

    From aching butts to bamboo huts, From blacks who eat shrimp to trannies rendered limp, From free dough for Daquan to Gazans gettin’ it on, This week’s Week has it all! (And as always, if you get a laugh or two, buy me a beer!) https://www.takimag.com/article/the-week-that-perished-297/ Leave a comment Subscribe now Share

  • Friday Fun Bag: Return of Ratibor?

    David Cole - Jun 7th 2024 4:45pm EDT

    Sober June is going just fine, thank you for asking. One week in. And I’ll admit, I’m feeling less “funny.” The world just ain’t as humorous when not viewed through the cockeyed lens of sweet mama booze. For example… NAZI RAGE So I’m watching the video that got neo-Nazi Holocaust denier (and Elon Musk’s personal […]

  • This Week’s Column

    David Cole - Jun 4th 2024 2:46pm EDT

    This week’s column was written a week ago, before I started my sober month and caught the shivery shivery shakes. So yes, I was downing rum as I penned it. No major extras this week, though. I’ll let the column speak for itself. Instead, here are a few pics of the young lady at the […]

  • Nazis in Moderation

    David Cole - Jun 4th 2024 12:00am EDT

    This week’s column will start self-indulgently and then brilliantly segue into something of greater import. Or so I’m telling myself as I down the rum. Last week a Twitter account—I won’t link to it; I’ll never give oxygen to trolls—said that the morning I was Twitter-banned I seemed “suicidal.” Which is absolutely idiotic. The morning […]

  • The Week That Perished…Plus a Funny(?) Anecdote

    David Cole - Jun 2nd 2024 2:43pm EDT

    This past Friday I once again didn’t post an original piece, but this time (in Don Corleone voice) I will give you my reasons. I’ve become a bad drunk. And by that I mean, I’ve stopped being good at it. I’m not the pro I used to be. I drank every day from June 2003 […]

  • This Week’s Column…Plus EXTRAS!

    David Cole - May 28th 2024 2:16pm EDT

    I hope you guys appreciate that for FREE you get these DAVE EXTRAS with every column. Ben Shapiro would paywall such things. But also, Ben Shapiro won’t eat crabs. Oh, he’ll GET crabs, but he won’t eat ‘em. My point being, BUY ME A BEER! So this week’s column is about my years in the […]

  • Casting My Eyes

    David Cole - May 28th 2024 2:04am EDT

    As I mentioned last week, I took a Substack poll regarding my readers’ preferred topics, and the top vote-getters were “scolding idiot rightists” and “musing about Hollywood.” So how’s about this week we do Hollywood? In 1986 my high school AP history teacher—the finest instructor I’ve ever known (I’d name her but she’s still alive, […]

  • A Week That Perished Worthy of Your 3-Day Weekend!

    David Cole - May 26th 2024 11:24am EDT

    A few of you noticed that I didn’t post anything last week. Well, regarding posting my reg’lar column, I hawked this Substack in that column and I got a bunch of new subs, so I figgered it would be pretty lame to hawk the Substack in a column, folks subscribe…only to get an email hawking […]

  • One Singular Gen-sation

    David Cole - May 21st 2024 2:45am EDT

    I hate the Holocaust. There, I’ve said it. Somebody had to. Funny thing is, nobody likes the Holocaust. Except maybe the folks at the ADL and Wiesenthal Center who’ve made a bundle off it. But for everyone else, the good (Jews who don’t profit from the murder of Jews), the bad (far-rightists like Elon’s favorite […]

  • This Week’s Week That Perished!

    David Cole - May 19th 2024 1:59pm EDT

    In this week’s Week, I take the opportunity to bring up something that’s genuinely flummoxed me over the years – why there’s never been a mass-shooting at a movie or TV studio. It makes no sense. Such shootings occur everywhere; there’s not a single type of location in America in which one hasn’t occurred. Except […]

  • Friday Fun Bag

    David Cole - May 17th 2024 12:08pm EDT

    In keeping with my pledge to send you three things a week (The Week That Perished on Sunday, my reg’lar column on Tuesday, and EXCLUSIVE CONTENT on Friday), here’s this Friday’s EXCLUSIVE CONTENT! We had ten unsubs last week, and I’ve gotten in the habit of emailing them just because I have so little amusement […]

  • Ron Unz Can Blow Me

    David Cole - May 14th 2024 2:26pm EDT

    A friend of mine who’s in “the biz” – indeed, a most exceptional writer – considers the opening sentence of a recent email I sent to Ron Unz the best opening of any email he’s ever read: Dear Ron, Hopefully this message finds you well and not overly exhausted by Cockney villagers chasing you with […]

  • Crushing Puppies, Crushing on Nazis!

    David Cole - May 14th 2024 12:00am EDT

    As my regular readers know, I don’t care for Ron Unz. And that’s putting it mildly. I consider him an open sore on the scrotum of the world, a tumor on life’s testicles. He’s the ’net’s No. 1 propagator of Holocaust denial, and he’s proud of it. He’s a professional fabricator, a polluter of historiography. […]

  • “David Cole is Eating His Dracula Cereal”

    David Cole - May 12th 2024 2:38pm EDT

    Okay. what part of “subscribe and you’ll get three things a week” was lost on you? I was clear as a Hawaiian waterfall – subscribe and you’ll get three emails a week: The Week That Perished on Sunday, my reg’lar column on Tuesday, and on Friday, something exclusive. Well, last week when The Week didn’t […]

  • The “Lost” Week That Perished, Plus My New Column and Kristi Noem’s Shot Dog

    David Cole - May 7th 2024 3:52pm EDT

    In theory, it was supposed to go as smooth as the brain of a Nick Fuentes supporter. Three things a week from ol’ Dave: The Week That Perished on Sunday, my regular column on Tuesday, and something new and fun on Friday. That’s what I promised you, my Substack friends. But then this week’s Week […]

  • Confessions of a Cock-Block Columnist

    David Cole - May 7th 2024 7:47am EDT

    It’s been said that if Frank Sinatra was at a restaurant and the scene was dead, he’d tell one of his goons to trip a waiter, just to create some amusement. Well, this election season is dead. With the two main candidates chosen, there ain’t nothin’ goin’ on, and there won’t be until September. Readers […]

  • Where’s the Week?

    David Cole - May 6th 2024 7:08pm EDT

    Yes, for some reason this week’s Week That Perished didn’t run. Look, I’m a coward, okay? What do I harp on if not my unemployability? I have ONE job – Takimag. And I try to keep my head down and not ask questions. Because I’m literally so scared of losing my ONLY POSSIBLE source of […]

  • All Rats Go to Heaven

    David Cole - May 3rd 2024 3:23pm EDT

    With deep regret I must announce that I think Ratibor the Rat has gone to the great garbage dump in the sky. It’s been almost a month since I’ve seen any “proof of life.” I scattered trap-free Cheez Its (his food of choice) in front of the washer and dryer two weeks ago, and he […]

  • This Week’s Column: Nazis, Tuckers, and Dumb Mutherfuckers

    David Cole - Apr 30th 2024 1:18pm EDT

    This is a poll I’ll take to heart. Because I really love you guys. You give me engagement, you buy me beers, and you’ve softened the blow of my Twitter ban (and my YouTube ban, and my Amazon ban). So here’s the poll question: What’s your favorite Dave topic? Because Substack does polls! What do […]

  • Invisible Monsters, Imaginary Heroes

    David Cole - Apr 30th 2024 12:00am EDT

    Did I ever tell you about the time one elderly Nazi took on and beat the entire U.S. government, the neocons, the military-industrial complex, and Israel? It’s a hell of a tale! In 1943, at age 16, German patriot Hans Schmidt joined the Waffen SS as a corporal in Division Leibstandarte. Wounded in battle, he […]

  • The Week That Perished, Sunday – April 28

    David Cole - Apr 28th 2024 11:16am EDT

    The lead story in today’s Week That Perished concerns the tram ride accident at Universal Studios, Hollywood. It’s actually become a controversial topic around here. Universal is accused of downplaying the severity of the injuries, and, indeed, compliant news orgs are no longer mentioning the many injuries (including one critical) that resulted. Universal draws a […]

  • Three Things a Week From Ol’ Dave…How’s That Sound?

    David Cole - Apr 26th 2024 11:07am EDT

    So I’m tryna get into a Substack groove here, and it seems to me that the best pattern I can fall into is to post three times a week: The Week That Perished on Sunday (with added commentary to sweeten the deal for my kind, generous Substack subscribers), my regular column on Tuesday (ditto with […]