News From David Cole, Page 6

¡MAGArriba Arriba!

¡Ay yi yi! Tucker Carlson se ha vuelto muy loco! Like all ideological talking heads, Tucker Carlson is predictable; he tells MAGAs what they want to hear. And why not? Preaching to the choir, and giving the choir direction, is what ideological talking heads do. But Carlson can also be unintentionally funny. Last month he […]

Plan Biden From Outer Space

In the words of John Goodman from Barton Fink, “Jesus, it’s hot.” L.A.’s historic, unprecedented September heat wave is literally murdering me. But you wanna know what’s killing me worse? You people hyuck-hyucking about how California can’t keep the lights on. A thousand Twitter automatons mindlessly posting the California/Titanic meme. Fox’s The Five doing an […]

Resigned to Apartheid

This is my third “apartheid” column in a row—consider it the close of a trilogy. Several readers have noted the depressing nature and resigned tone of the previous two pieces, to which the best reply I can muster is, at this point I genuinely believe that chronicling is all that’s left to do. I can […]

White Crimes of the Future

June 2002: A white woman named Valinda Elliott accompanied her boss on a business trip through the Arizona desert. When their car broke down and the boss suffered heatstroke, Elliott lit a signal fire to alert a passing helicopter. Unfortunately, the fire grew into a larger blaze. At the same time, at the nearby Apache […]

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The Apartheid Turns

Predictions are risky for a columnist. And I’m already on thin ice, having been soundly humiliated by my November 2020 column “Madison Cawthorn: He’ll Never Rub His Balls in Another Man’s Face.” Boy, is my face red (though not as red as the face of Cawthorn’s friend). But one prediction I’ll make with certitude is […]

The Last Living Holocaust Mass Murderer

At 92 years old, George Soros is the last human experientially connected to the Holocaust who’s still actively taking lives. Sure, there are a few elderly ex-Nazis being dragged before German courts, but they’re insignificant (secretaries, bookkeepers) and their murderous exploits, if any, ended with the war. Soros, a Jew who survived the Holocaust by […]

Start the Week With YOUR QUESTIONS MARATHON!

L.A.’s Brown Bastards

Being blackmailed by my Mexican gardener should’ve made me angry. To my surprise, it kinda didn’t. This week: a good old-fashioned L.A. noir involving plots, plans, and plants. Call it Shrubble Indemnity. Like most Beverly Hills homeowners, I don’t do my own gardening. Sure, I’ve been called lazy. Fat and lazy. Fat, lazy, and work-shy. […]

The Wrath of Con Men

Anger can be constructive; it can motivate people to fight noble battles and right egregious wrongs. Anger can also be nonconstructive. It can distract people from genuine problems while driving them to unproductive extremes. Nonconstructive anger often starts with a fiction. Like how a false narrative about police shootings can motivate a certain easily-led demographic […]

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I’m Back! Missed Me? (don’t answer that)

Curse of the Ghetto Golems

Golem tales always follow the same template: A Jew builds a monster of clay to destroy his enemies, but in the end the golem turns on its creator. In 2019, in a piece that generated unintended national controversy, I wrote about immigrant golems. This week, I’ll examine the homegrown ones. George Soros is a golem […]

Chuck the Chalkboard

A lesson from my casting director years: An actor’s instincts are more important than talent when it comes to landing a part. At an audition, you have to be able to read the room. If the room is loose and jokey, joke along. If you sit there like a cadaver, you won’t get a callback. […]

A Pro-Life Poll Up the Ass

You people, I swear. For months I’ve been longing to write my magnum opus about the superb 2021 post-Covid Taiwanese zombie film The Sadness and its impact on Sino-U.S. relations. Sure, that column would be of no interest to you, and sure, it would only be one sentence long (“The superb 2021 post-Covid Taiwanese zombie […]

L.A.’s Black Spoilers

Thirty-five-year-old Nicole Mokeme was Portland, Maine’s BLM superstar. She founded “Rise and Shine,” a woodsy retreat where “BIPOCs” could gather and rant about whitey. As Mokeme stated on her website, “as the awareness of white terrorism began to rise, black youth suggested the need for sacred Black space.” So she founded a black prideaway hideaway […]

They Who Smelt It…

You’d think saving babies would be enough. Dobbs saved the babies. What more does the right need? “We won; pop the bubbly.” But that’s not how the right’s wired at the moment. Sure, saving babies is great and all, but the MAGA right’s too distracted to appreciate the victory. They’ll never admit it, but MAGAs […]

Their Damned Lies, and Yours

Remember the Dhaliwal brothers? No? Good. Like yesterday’s bowel movement, they don’t deserve remembering, let alone an encore. That said, I’m gonna reluctantly invoke them, because even the worst of mankind can offer lessons for the rest of us. Christmas Day 2007, brothers Kulbir (23) and Amritpal (19) Dhaliwal, their friend Carlos Sousa (17) in […]

Calamity of So Long Covid

You didn’t think you could just walk away from Covid hysteria, did you? You didn’t think it would just end, right? In fact, “Phase II” is about to begin. And I’m not talking about more masks ’n’ jabs. I’m talking about a new iteration, a mutation. Not a viral one, but a metamorphosis in terms […]

Dysgenic Supremacy

California State Senator Steven Bradford (Compton, Watts, Inglewood, and the dead rapper district of Long Beach) is the blackiest black in the state’s Democrat machine. Bradford so black, every time he visits Long Beach port, the vessels get sickle cell. As a legislator, he’s single-mindedly focused on California’s dwindling black minority (roughly 5.5% of the […]

“New Shooter New Shooter New Shooter!”

Regarding the Uvalde school shooting, most of us have already cycled through the Seven Stages of Vicarious Grief. That’s the process that follows every mass shooting, when we pick our “why” from the list of seven approved mass shooting causes, and we criticize everybody who picked a different one. Here’s the list; feel free to […]

Happy Friday! Dave Answers YOUR Questions

Dwarfs, Movies, Nazi Baddies, and OF COURSE the Damn Holocaust

Your Questions: Holocaust, Hollywood, Zombies, Coffee, & Racists

Holocaust Can Wait: This Week It’s All Movies!