BOISE, ID — According to sources, the guy standing in front of you at the gas station right now is buying lotto tickets, cigarettes, and also applying for a home mortgage loan.
WASHINGTON, D.C. — Even one of the most revered institutions in the world found out that it was not immune to being trolled by the leader of the free world, as President Donald Trump retaliated for his peace prize snub with a picture of the Nobel Committee wearing sombreros.
NEW YORK, NY — Sources said the indicted New York attorney general held out hope that she could ease her combative relationship with the president, as Letitia James attempted to smooth things over by sending Trump a heartfelt “Sorry I Maliciously Prosecuted You” card.
WASHINGTON, D.C. — Concerns over President Trump’s ethics were raised this week ordered the construction of a Dungeon of Torment for his political enemies, causing many to question: Is the president perhaps going too far?
NEW YORK, NY — Due to overwhelming pressure, the National Football League announced that it had canceled plans for rapper Bad Bunny to perform at the Super Bowl LX halftime show and instead offered the coveted spot to psychologist and author Dr. Jordan B. Peterson.
WASHINGTON, D.C. — With the peace agreement between Israel and Hamas tentatively settled, President Donald Trump reportedly set his sights on quelling the longstanding unrest between Yankees and Red Sox fans.
OSLO — The Nobel Committee announced that it had officially chosen Greta Thunberg to receive the Nobel Peace Prize for her pivotal role in bringing an end to the war in Gaza.
President Trump may have finally achieved what many long thought impossible, as Israel and Hamas have agreed to the first phase of a peace agreement, but this ceasefire didn’t come without conditions from Hamas.
WAUKEE, IA — Local suburban housewife Keightlyynn Huxley reported today that an unusual cloud of depression has been following her around lately, and she can’t explain why.
WASHINGTON, D.C. — In a stunning development that experts said could change the course of geopolitics for the foreseeable future, Hitler announced a historic agreement that would bring lasting peace to Israel.
SAN FRANCISCO – The National Guard has been called to California’s Golden City to neutralize a 600-foot-tall Katie Porter, who is apparently rampaging her way through San Francisco.
The seasons are a-changing, and your darling wife is already shivering as temperatures drop into the 70s. With winter approaching, here are eight clever ways to actually keep your wife warm:
HELL — The founder of Islam expressed continued frustration with Democrats on Wednesday, calling them out for referring to Islam as a “religion of peace.”
CHICAGO, IL – President Trump has graciously agreed to compromise with Chicago Mayor Brandon Johnson, allowing for designation of an “ICE-free zone” in the Mayor’s house.
NEW YORK CITY — New York City mayoral candidate Zohran Mamdani paraglided into his campaign event today in honor of October 7th and the horrific atrocities committed by Hamas that day.
ALEXANDRIA, VA — At his arraignment on charges of making false statements and obstruction, former FBI Director James Comey produced a letter signed by 51 former intelligence officials testifying to the fact that he’s totally innocent.
ARLINGTON, VA — An embarrassed Jay Jones realized earlier this week that he was only supposed to support murdering kids before they were born, not after.
SPRINGFIELD, IL — Seeking to ramp up his opposition force against the invasion of federal agents seeking to enforce the law, Governor JB Pritzker activated 100 battalions of illegal immigrants in Illinois’s war against ICE.
SPRINGFIELD, IL — Seeking to ramp up his opposition force against the invasion of federal agents seeking to enforce the law, Governor JB Pritzker activated 100 battalions of illegal immigrants in Illinois’s war against ICE.
SPRINGFIELD, IL — Seeking to ramp up his opposition force against the invasion of federal agents seeking to enforce the law, Governor JB Pritzker activated 100 battalions of illegal immigrants in Illinois’s war against ICE.
SPRINGFIELD, IL — Seeking to ramp up his opposition force against the invasion of federal agents seeking to enforce the law, Governor JB Pritzker activated 100 battalions of illegal immigrants in Illinois’s war against ICE.
Video games have a reputation for violence and novelty, but they can actually be quite Christ-focused. Just consider these top 20 Christ metaphors in video games:
FRANKLIN, KY — A strange phenomenon was observed in a local household this week, as a husband noticed that his wife again decided to ask a question to 10,000 random strangers on Facebook rather than just googling it to get the right answer.
GRAND TETONS, WA — In a tragic displacement caused by the ongoing government shutdown of National Parks, moose across the country have been forced to find new jobs.
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HELL — The founder of Islam expressed continued frustration with Democrats on Wednesday, calling them out for referring to Islam as a “religion of peace.”
