WASHINGTON, D.C. — Anguished gobbles were heard throughout the Beltway this morning, after news broke that President Donald Trump would be executing all the turkeys pardoned by former President Joe Biden’s autopen.
WASHINGTON, D.C. — With Representative Marjorie Taylor Greene announcing her resignation in January, the average IQ in Congress is expected to rise about 7,000 points.
WASHINGTON, D.C. — The Trump administration announced plans this week for the president to host a thrilling game show for members of Congress in which the audience must help determine who he executes next.
Provoked by Democratic lawmakers calling on the military to refuse orders from their commander-in-chief, President Donald Trump made several posts on Truth Social declaring a long list of crimes as sedition and punishable by death.
WASHINGTON, D.C. — President Donald Trump was rushed to an emergency bunker below the East Wing following reports that a member of Hamas breached the White House perimeter.
WASHINGTON, D.C. — President Donald Trump was rushed to an emergency bunker below the East Wing following reports that a member of Hamas breached the White House perimeter.
VATICAN CITY — Following his public statement condemning the Trump administration’s hardline immigration policies, a shocking new report indicated that 17 illegal immigrants had been found hiding under Pope Leo XIV’s hat.
SEATTLE, WA — The Microsoft Corporation announced today that they’ve developed a convenient new 47-factor authentication protocol for all Windows-enabled computers.
WASHINGTON, D.C. — Lawmakers sent shockwaves around the globe with the Christmas season right around the corner, as Congress passed a resolution to release Santa Claus’ “Naughty or Nice” list.
U.S. — The results of a national survey revealed that nearly 90% of moviegoers were curious about what happened to the guy who made Aliens and Terminator 2, and then apparently just completely stopped making movies for some reason.
There’s no more noble aspiration than that of one day becoming a professional journalist, but many may feel intimidated or unequipped to pursue such an impressive career.
Los Angeles, CA — Walt Disney Studios unveiled the teaser trailer this week for a much-anticipated live-action remake of a beloved animated movie that is only 98% animated.
GRAND RAPIDS, MI — Local Toco Bell worker Austin Meyers remained unimpressed by a customer’s excellent Spanish accent when pronouncing the word ‘chalupa.’
NEW YORK, NY — Mayor-elect Zohran Mamdani announced plans on Thursday to specifically target the rich with a new tax on anyone who makes more than $0.00 a year.
BEREA, OH — After existing as a known sports entity for over 80 years, the Cleveland Browns embarrassingly admitted that they had only recently come to the sudden realization that they had forgotten to put a logo on their helmets this whole time.
VATICAN — In a powerful show of solidarity with people who cross America’s southern border illegally, Pope Leo XIV unveiled a brand new Papal Sombrero at the Vatican.
Being a Christian can be rough — especially if you’re a Christian in America. Believers in other countries may have a hard time, but American Christians face challenges on an entirely different level.
U.S. — In order to increase its efficiency in finding illegal immigrants, ICE has unveiled a new tactic of going to all the soccer fields in town and mass-arresting everyone present.
U.S. — With the increase in violence against conservative political leaders and influencers posing a great threat to national security and the lives of Americans, federal authorities revealed that they were zeroing in on the leader of a suspected furry terrorist cell.
LOS ANGELES, CA — The results of a shocking new study conducted by researchers at UCLA sent ripples through the scientific community this week, confirming what many have long suspected: someone, somewhere is still making Avatar movies.
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