LONDON — In what political analysts described as a historic turning point for Western Civilization, Great Britain announced a “Reverse Crusade” where they invite Muslims to come and destroy England.
WASHINGTON, D.C. — In a bold response to the recent shootings in left-leaning cities, Democratic leaders courageously stepped up to demand common-sense prayer control.
As the male staff of the Babylon Bee wiped away tears after seeing the engagement photos, we couldn’t help being overcome by all the ways Taylor Swift and Travis Kelce point us to Christ. Here are just ten of them:
SCOTLAND — According to reports, the homeland of William Wallace has shifted away from charging into certain death in the name of freedom to just letting their teenage daughters handle the violent rape gangs.
SCOTLAND — According to reports, the homeland of William Wallace has shifted away from charging into certain death in the name of freedom to just letting their teenage daughters handle the violent rape gangs.
LEBANON, TN — Questions continue to swirl over whether perhaps Cracker Barrel went too far overcorrecting as it unveiled a logo featuring a Confederate flag and the new name “The South Will Rise Again.”
SCOTLAND — As part of a sweeping effort to put a stop to Arab migrant rape gangs terrorizing the country, UK authorities have begun rounding up and arresting all potential rape victims.
DALLAS, TX — As part of a company-wide initiative to increase revenue and provide a greater level of comfort for its passengers, Southwest Airlines announced that, effective immediately, your mom would be required to charter the entire plane to accommodate her.
LEAWOOD, KS — Football star Travis Kelce will reportedly write his own vows for his upcoming wedding to American pop star Taylor Swift just as soon as he learns how to spell “psyched”.
WASHINGTON, DC — President Donald Trump announced this week his administration plans on nationalizing as many private businesses and companies as possible in order to fight socialism.
BALTIMORE, MD — As the public debate continued to rage over the Trump administration’s immigration policies, one human trafficker asked for the government to reconsider deporting him on the grounds that it is inhumane to be trafficked to another country.
WASHINGTON, D.C. — President Trump delighted the nation this week, unveiling plans for a giant cannon that he hopes will facilitate faster, more entertaining deportations.
U.S. — Taylor Swift’s love story came to an abrupt end after a referee jumped out of the bushes following her engagement to football player Travis Kelce and overturned the proposal.
AMBLESIDE, ENGLAND — British authorities have arrested a man calling himself Saint George after he brandished a dangerous bladed weapon at a local dragon, which was merely minding its own business of terrorizing the local populace.
WASHINGTON, D.C. — In yet another genius move designed to weaken a rival nation, President Donald Trump enacted a plan to dumb down the Chinese population by inviting them to attend American universities.
New York City mayoral candidate Zohran Mamdani’s viral bench press exhibition has gotten everyone talking about the importance of fitness — no matter what your political affiliation may be. But are there exercises even liberals can do?
COSTA MESA, CA — A local Christian man was confident that he was likely the cause of periodical resounding celebrations in Heaven, as he proudly fulfilled the Great Commission by occasionally wearing novelty Christian T-shirts in public.
NEW YORK CITY, NY — New York mayoral candidate Zohran Mamdani was seriously injured Saturday after getting pinned under a pair of 5 lb. yoga bells at an election event.
BALTIMORE, MD — As the Trump administration prepared to make another attempt to send a dangerous foreigner with a criminal record out of the country, news broke that Kilmar Abrego Garcia was allegedly just one away from a free burrito on his deportation punch card.
WASHINGTON, D.C. — In his latest executive order, President Donald Trump has ordered that anyone who does not bow down to the American flag when the music plays shall be tossed into the fiery furnace.
WASHINGTON, D.C. — In a muted display of mourning, a group of somber Democrats commemorated the unprecedented streak of 10 murder-free days in Washington, D.C.
NEW YORK CITY — New York City has moved to adopt a new system whereby the mayorship will be awarded to the first candidate who can bench press the bar.
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