EGYPT — Scholars have uncovered new evidence showing that Pharaoh’s infamous hanging of his chief baker was a result of discovering walnuts in his brownies.
CHARLESTON, WV — In order to make the transition from singing to preaching more seamless, Grace Community Church has installed a trap door that the praise band will fall through as soon as they finish their worship set.
DEARBORN, MI — Ford Motor Company is set to debut an innovative safety feature for all new models, where the vehicle will instantly shut off if a woman is detected in the driver’s seat.
PEORIA, IL — Members of Cornerstone Calvary Community Congregation City Church were in for a shock this past Sunday as they were greeted at the doors to the church by an army of state-of-the-art robo-greeters.
WORLD — Worship leaders worldwide were left stunned today after word began to spread that the Lord now regrets including the command “Sing unto the Lord a new song” in His Word after hearing the new songs Christians are currently singing.
WASHINGTON, D.C. — After getting into yet another public spat with ChatGPT, Representative Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez has accused the program of wanting to date her.
WASHINGTON, D.C. — After getting into yet another public spat with ChatGPT, Representative Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez has accused the program of wanting to date her.
PEORIA, IL — Members of Cornerstone Calvary Community Congregation City Church were in for a shock this past Sunday as they were greeted at the doors to the church by an army of state-of-the-art robo-greeters.
WORLD — Worship leaders worldwide were left stunned today after word began to spread that the Lord now regrets including the command “Sing unto the Lord a new song” in His Word after hearing the new songs Christians are currently singing.
The Walt Disney Company caved to a righteous outcry of public pressure when it gutted beloved log flume attraction Splash Mountain, replacing any reference to its controversial film Song of the South in favor of The Princess and the Frog — a movie starring an African American princess who sings multiple songs in the south.
UKRAINE — Mere hours after deploying 31 brand new U.S. M1 Abrams tanks, sources are now reporting all 31 of them have been destroyed by the Russians. Experts are attributing this to the fact that each of the 31 tanks featured rainbow camouflage that was easily visible to the enemy Russians.
CLAREMONT, CA — Theologians at the Claremont School of Theology put forward additional evidence that God has a sense of humor by pointing out that 1 out of every 20 pistachios tastes like flaming hot garbage.
GOLDEN VALLEY, MN — Move aside, purple horseshoes! General Mills announced today an exciting new addition to their Lucky Charms marshmallow lineup: Ukraine Flag charms, available for a limited time only.
We all want what’s best for our children. That’s why it’s important to educate them early on how to deny gender normativity and embrace dysphoria. What will people think if your child becomes a “normie?” That would be the worst!
KHERSON, UKRAINE — In an instance some have labeled the Ukraine-Russia War’s “Christmas Truce,” Ukrainian and Russian soldiers have paused their fighting to capture a photo of their adorable matching American tanks.
LAGUNA NIGUEL, CA — A local TikTokker was left angry today after she was unable to achieve her goal of drawing attention from men at the gym, who she could then berate on camera and shame publicly on social media.
NEW YORK, NY — Pfizer Inc. dropped their new COVID variant and accompanying vaccine Thursday at midnight, much to the delight of CDC officials. The new vaccine is reportedly shown to be 90% effective against the COVID variant Pfizer created in their lab.
WOOSTER, OH — With egg prices soaring to historic highs, multi-billionaire Elon Musk has been dethroned as world’s richest after local farmer Old Man Hopkins reported that his New Hampshire Red — who he had named “Hen” — had surpassed Musk in net worth.
WASHINGTON, D.C. — House Speaker Kevin McCarthy announced he was demoting reps. Eric Swalwell and Adam Schiff from the powerful House Intelligence Committee to join Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez on the lesser-known House Party Planning Committee. Their main focus will be planning birthday parties and seasonal potluck celebrations for the upcoming Congressional term.
SACRAMENTO, CA — After years of taxing California citizens to capacity and still not having enough in the state budget, Governor Gavin Newsom has proposed a brand new tax on people who live in Florida.
In a civilized society, people rely on the news media to keep them informed. It’s how we learn about things like crime, local interest stories, or what we should wear for the day. But what if your favorite news anchor has been lying to you? Not good!
CHAPPAQUA, NY — After revelations that former Presidents and Vice Presidents Joe Biden, Donald Trump, and even Mike Pence had violated federal law by keeping classified documents in their homes, Hillary Clinton took the opportunity to brag that she had kept no classified documents from her time serving as President of the United States.
- Aug 9th 2025 5:17pm EDT