WASHINGTON, D.C. — Illinois Governor JB Pritzker reportedly joined the fray as a law enforcement officer in the nation’s capital in hopes of getting a sandwich thrown at him.
WASHINGTON, D.C. — Illinois Governor JB Pritzker reportedly joined the fray as a law enforcement officer in the nation’s capital in hopes of getting a sandwich thrown at him.
WASHINGTON, D.C. — Illinois Governor JB Pritzker reportedly joined the fray as a law enforcement officer in the nation’s capital in hopes of getting a sandwich thrown at him.
WASHINGTON, D.C. — Illinois Governor JB Pritzker reportedly joined the fray as a law enforcement officer in the nation’s capital in hopes of getting a sandwich thrown at him.
In case you haven’t already heard, you’re living in an oppressive, authoritarian dictatorship now. Don’t believe it? It’s easy to see once you know what to look for.
ROME — Renaissance artist Vicente De Antonio put the finishing touches on a new painting that he hoped would someday be used to train AI on how to recreate Renaissance paintings.
PHILADELPHIA, PA — In a landmark ruling that was sure to have far-reaching consequences, a federal court ruled that a group of Catholic nuns would be immediately required to start worshiping Molech.
SACRAMENTO, CA — In his ongoing public sparring with the administration over its agenda, Governor Gavin Newsom vowed to double California’s violent crime rate if President Donald Trump refused to stop cleaning up Washington, D.C.
WASHINGTON, D.C. — President Donald Trump departed the White House today, with Air Force One scheduled to touch down at Joint Base Elmendorf-Richardson (JBER) ahead of a historic meeting to broker a truce between humans and bears.
WASHINGTON, D.C. — In the wake of a whistleblower’s claim that he approved the leaking of classified information in an attempt to take down President Donald Trump, Senator Adam Schiff expressed worry that his legal troubles would make it hard for him to afford his upcoming head reduction surgery.
LOS ANGELES — An investigation has revealed that a secretive bettor going by the name “Shoberto Ohnandez” placed a massive $15 million wager on the Los Angeles Angels to win last night.
DALLAS — After viewing footage of the controversial items being thrown at WNBA games, Cowboys players expressed a degree of interest in having similar objects thrown at them this season.
DALLAS — After viewing footage of the controversial items being thrown at WNBA games, Cowboys players expressed a degree of interest in having similar objects thrown at them this season.
DAVENPORT, IA — According to insiders, the self esteem of local man Jacob Filch has yet to recover from a time seven years prior when an online Harry Potter quiz put him in Hufflepuff.
WASHINGTON, D.C. — A press conference to update the media on the department’s ongoing efforts to rein in crime following President Donald Trump’s threat to federalize the city was briefly interrupted today but a loud noise, leading DC Police Chief Pamela Smith to ask journalists what was causing it.
While naysayers doubted Major League Baseball’s decision to hire its first female umpire, the advantages have already proved undeniable. Here are seven huge benefits of having lady umps:
Sharing the Good News can be awkward and nerve-wracking, but it’s a command from our Lord, so you’d better do it. But how? Are there any ways to do it on the sly so nobody outs you as one of those weirdo Christians?
WASHINGTON, D.C. — The bloody years-long conflict between Ukraine and Russia was finally brought to an end this week, as President Donald Trump successfully negotiated a ceasefire between the countries by agreeing to give Vladimir Putin California.
WASHINGTON, D.C. — Shocking dozens of viewers, a CNN journalist was nearly beaten to death by a group of thugs during a live broadcast while reporting that crime is down in D.C.
WOODSTOCK, ME — In an episode of his program that was sure to create significant buzz online, Tucker Carlson announced an exclusive interview with the dredged-up corpse of long-dead terrorist leader Osama bin Laden.
WASHINGTON, D.C. — Federal Reserve Chair Jerome Powell confirmed Tuesday he will not lower interest rates until he can be sure it won’t help President Trump.
U.S. — Despite claims by President Donald Trump that American cities are being overrun by criminals, Democrat mayors across the country reported that violent crime was actually down 40% since they redefined the words “violent” and “crime”.
U.S. — A Biblical epic in development at Angel Studios will reportedly star American actor Jim Caviezel as every single character from the entire Bible.
WASHINGTON, D.C. — Left without other practical options in a city overwhelmed by violent crime, President Donald Trump reportedly decided to dispense vigilante justice by dressing up like a giant bat and patrolling the streets of D.C.
- Aug 9th 2025 5:17pm EDT