PALO ALTO, CA — The advancement of the artificial intelligence models created by Elon Musk’s xAI took an unexpected turn today, as the Grok Waifu accepted Jesus Christ as her Lord and Savior.
WHITTIER, CA — Members of a local church were caught off guard last weekend after they arrived for Sunday morning service to find a mob of area youth pastors had shown up wearing “Pay Us What You Owe Us” t-shirts.
WHITTIER, CA — Members of a local church were caught off guard last weekend after they arrived for Sunday morning service to find a mob of area youth pastors had shown up wearing “Pay Us What You Owe Us” t-shirts.
LANDOVER, MD — As part of a deal for the construction of a new stadium, the Washington Commanders, formerly the Washington Redskins, have agreed to change their name to the Washington Bloodthirsty Injuns.
WILMINGTON, DE — As part of a wide-ranging sit-down interview released on YouTube, Hunter Biden warned Americans that, without illegal immigrants, the price of crack cocaine and prostitutes would skyrocket.
SANTA CLARITA, CA — Imagineers at Master’s University put the final touches on a lifelike animatronic of Dr. John MacArthur and installed him in the university’s Hall of Presidents early Monday, to much fanfare.
MINNEAPOLIS, MN — As part of his revolutionary campaign platform, Minneapolis mayoral candidate Omar Fateh introduced a plan to revitalize the city by hijacking other cities and plundering their treasure.
WASHINGTON, D.C. — In a blow to hopes from conservatives that the former president would face severe consequences for allegedly overseeing an attempt to deligitimize the Trump presidency, Barack Obama argued that he can’t be charged with treason since he wasn’t born in America and isn’t a legitimate American citizen.
U.S. — The news media which remained unconcerned for four years by the lack of circulation to former President Biden’s brain have expressed deep concern over the circulation in President Trump’s ankles.
After announcing the cancellation of The Late Show with Stephen Colbert, CBS is hard at work searching for a better program to replace their old flagship. Here are ten great ideas that would be way better than The Late Show:
After announcing the cancellation of The Late Show with Stephen Colbert, CBS is hard at work searching for a better program to replace their old flagship. Here are ten great ideas that would be way better than The Late Show:
Have you found yourself wondering how you could prevent the shame and horror of having it found out that you’re being unfaithful to your spouse while canoodling with a fellow executive at your company at a public event? One simple trick is all it takes.
NASHVILLE, TN — Following the passing of Pastor John MacArthur, Baptists announced that they would be holding a conclave to select the next John MacArthur.
WASHINGTON, D.C. — Congressional Republicans were publicly congratulating themselves this week, celebrating $9 billion in spending cuts shortly after passing a bill that will add $3 trillion to the national debt.
JERUSALEM — According to palace sources, an egregious sin committed by King David and Bathsheba was exposed to the public after they were caught on a kiss cam at Levite concert.
U.S. — In an afternoon press conference, U.S. Attorney General Pam Bondi proudly announced that the man responsible for Microsoft OneDrive had been arrested, ending an almost 20-year-long reign of terror that affected millions.
U.S. — In a shocking exposé that threatened to topple the presidential administration, the Wall Street Journal revealed that Donald Trump once wrote “BOOBS” on a calculator and showed it to Jeffrey Epstein.
NEW YORK, NY — Along with NPR and PBS, a state-run propaganda program hosted by Stephen Colbert announced it would be shutting down due to a loss of funding.
As great as the Bible is, it’s severely lacking in movies. Adding in some of the greatest films ever made could bring some much-needed excitement to the collection of holy scripture.
LONDON — In a protest to make the nation’s democratic process more inclusive, Muslims in the United Kingdom marched to demand that the voting age be lowered to 13 so their wives would be able to vote.
NORTH PLATTE, NE — One local man admitted that everything in his life was going so well lately that he was forced to go find stuff on the internet that he could get angry about.
SESAME STREET — Humans and Muppets were seen fleeing in terror with chaos descending from the skies, as Israel leveled Sesame Street with a series of precisely targeted airstrikes.
- Aug 9th 2025 5:17pm EDT