BOSTON, MA — Local atheist and president of The Enlightened Rationalist Guild of Supreme Cognition (ERGSC) Steve Wimbly admitted to several close friends that recent struggles had shaken his faith in the existence of nothing.
BOSTON, MA — Local atheist and president of The Enlightened Rationalist Guild of Supreme Cognition (ERGSC) Steve Wimbly admitted to several close friends that recent struggles had shaken his faith in the existence of nothing.
WASHINGTON, D.C. — Chaos ensued outside the U.S. Capitol yesterday, as Congresswoman Marjorie Taylor Greene’s press conference on cloud seeding was suddenly interrupted by a massive tornado.
WASHINGTON, D.C. — Chaos ensued outside the U.S. Capitol yesterday, as Congresswoman Marjorie Taylor Greene’s press conference on cloud seeding was suddenly interrupted by a massive tornado.
WASHINGTON, D.C. — Chaos ensued outside the U.S. Capitol yesterday, as Congresswoman Marjorie Taylor Greene’s press conference on cloud seeding was suddenly interrupted by a massive tornado.
WASHINGTON, D.C. — Chaos ensued outside the U.S. Capitol yesterday, as Congresswoman Marjorie Taylor Greene’s press conference on cloud seeding was suddenly interrupted by a massive tornado.
SACRAMENTO, CA — In the latest front on his war against the Trump administration’s immigration policies, Governor Gavin Newsom officially declared California a sanctuary state for child slavery.
WASHINGTON, D.C. — Following an extensive investigation, U.S. Attorney General Pam Bondi held a press conference to announce that the Department of Justice had officially confirmed that Greedo shot first.
CHICAGO, IL — White Sox fans were going wild for their team’s brand-new Citty Connect Jerseys, which vividly reflect life in Chi-Town with realistic bullet holes and blood splatters.
With Mattel’s introduction of a Barbie doll with Type 1 diabetes, the toy industry was abuzz with rumors of other inclusive Barbie dolls that could be on the way.
JERUSALEM — A Galilean teacher arrested just outside the city during the night reportedly frustrated his court-appointed public defense lawyer during a Sanhedrin trial, after he stood before Caiaphas and proclaimed: “Yes, I am the Messiah, and you will see the son of man sitting at the right hand of the Mighty One and coming […]
U.S. — In a feature that fans praised for bringing a new level of realism to the playing experience, developers of the WNBA mode for the new NBA 2K26 added an option to shiv Caitlin Clark.
GENEVA — History was unmade this week after a time traveler went back in time to kill Adolf Hitler to prevent World War II and the extermination of six million Jews. However, in a cruel twist of fate, he now had no one to compare people he disagrees with to.
WASHINGTON, D.C. — In a move that experts said could finally resolve the deficit crisis once and for all, congressional Republicans unveiled a new debt plan to transfer the balance to a Capital One credit card with a 0% intro APR.
WASHINGTON, D.C. — Former White House Physician Dr. Kevin O’Connor, who served from 2020-2024, testified this morning that he has never known any person by the name of “Joe Biden.”
U.S. — In just the latest example of the woke virus takeover, the newest installment of the Jurassic Park franchise will reportedly have a woman in it.
DAMASCUS — Following the announcement by the Transportation Security Administration that the policy requiring airline passengers to remove their footwear at airport checkpoints was being lifted, news broke that production had finally resumed at Crazy Mohammed’s Shoe Bomb Factory.
U.S. — Toy maker Mattel has unveiled the latest in its Barbie lineup, the all-new “Ozempic Barbie” that comes with real syringes and a detachable belly for when the initially-chubby Barbie sheds that weight.
WASHINGTON, D.C. — Representative Ilhan Omar announced this morning that she is officially engaged to the artificial intelligence system known as Grok.
SPRINGFIELD, VA — The Transport Security Agency has officially announced that passengers will no longer have to remove their shoes before being publicly fondled.
Attorney General Pam Bondi is in hot water today after the Epstein list that was “on her desk” a few months ago somehow went missing. Before you start attacking Bondi though, consider these seven totally reasonable explanations for what might have happened:
WORLD — Concerned citizens of nations around the world breathed a collective sigh of relief this week, as the individuals who comprised Jeffrey Epstein’s client list assured everyone that there was no Epstein client list.
COLUMBUS, OH — Pastor Weyland Benjamins of Mt. Olivet Baptist Church was forced to gently reprimand the church’s worship leader yesterday by informing him that the “Thunderstruck” riff is not an appropriate intro to “Great Is Thy Faithfulness.”
WASHINGTON, D.C. — Attorney General Pam Bondi explained today that she was really going to release all of the Epstein files, but some pedophiles asked her to please not.
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