U.S. — With the fall of the Ayatollah regime appearing to be imminent, prominent Democrats expressed fear that the dangerous Iranian desire for freedom could potentially spread to the United States.
U.S. — In its ongoing effort to make watching football as difficult as possible, the National Football League announced today that each quarter of the playoff games will be exclusively streamed on a different streaming network.
U.S. — In a powerful protest against Robert F. Kennedy Junior’s caution against drinking alcohol at breakfast, liberals have begun chugging bottles of Everclear at 7 a.m. every single morning.
U.S. — In a powerful protest against Robert F. Kennedy Junior’s caution against drinking alcohol at breakfast, liberals have begun chugging bottles of Everclear at 7 a.m. every single morning.
MINNEAPOLIS — A notably somber Governor Tim Walz announced that tragically, all of the state’s daycare records were destroyed by fire during last night’s riot.
U.S. — Following the events in Minneapolis this past week, liberals across America are now living under the constant terror of being senselessly shot by the ICE agents they’re hitting with cars.
MINNEAPOLIS, MN — According to witnesses, federal ICE agents shifted their tactics slightly by donning Capitol Police uniforms so that Democrats would start defending them from being harmed.
U.S. — Political commentator Tucker Carlson expressed confusion after learning that the Iranian people were protesting their own government, saying he was absolutely dumbfounded as to why they would rebel against the greatest government on the planet.
MINNEAPOLIS, MN — Representatives of the Somali community issued a statement demanding that Americans stop judging them by the content of their character.
WASHINGTON, D.C. — Following recent ICE-related shootings, Democrat leaders stepped forward to remind the nation that everything would be much safer if law enforcement would just stop enforcing the law.
COSTA MESA, CA — A team of anthropologists hard at work completing a field study announced that they had discovered a previously uncontacted native tribe in a remote area of IKEA.
President Donald Trump ordered the arrest of Venezuelan President Nicolás Maduro, toppling a brutal totalitarian regime. But he’s only getting started.
MINNEAPOLIS, MN — Governor Tim Walz took decisive action to back up his aggressive rhetoric against federal immigration operations in his state by calling in the Somali Armed Forces to assist in the fight against ICE.
SALT LAKE CITY, UT — Local teen Ethan Gardener expressed confusion this week over how he had managed to learn everything in only 16 years, while his much-older parents still hadn’t figured everything out.
SALT LAKE CITY, UT — Local teen Ethan Gardener expressed confusion this week over how he had managed to learn everything in only 16 years, while his much-older parents still hadn’t figured everything out.
MINNEAPOLIS, MN — Democrats took to social media following the deadly ICE shooting in Minneapolis to demand to know why the agents can’t just shoot cars in the legs to de-escalate situations.
MINNEAPOLIS, MN — For the second time in American history, Democrats are threatening civil war if Republicans do not stop taking away their slave laborers.
With the announcement that he is withdrawing from the Minnesota governor’s race, Tim Walz is on the hunt for a new career. Fortunately, The Babylon Bee has come up with the following list of jobs he’d be absolutely fabulous for:
DANSVILLE, NY — The Rodgers family reportedly recruited a social worker to help moderate what turned out to be an emotional intervention for Steve Rodgers, a 40-year-old man who has persisted in wearing skinny jeans.
U.S. — The 2028 presidential race took a surprising turn this week following the events that took place in Venezuela, as the latest round of polling showed that deposed dictator Nicolas Maduro had taken the early primary lead as the most popular Democrat.
