News From David Cole, Page 3

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  • SCOTUS Forces Me to Do Work

    David Cole - Jul 2nd 2024 3:53pm EDT

    I already had my column written for the SCOTUS J6 decision. I wrote it in April during oral arguments, because it was clear that the conservative justices were gonna side with the rioters. So I get all ready for Dave’s Drunk July thinkin’ I gots no work to do, but then the decision comes down […]

  • Suicidal SCOTUS Screwed You Suckers Good!

    David Cole - Jul 2nd 2024 1:50am EDT

    Let’s play a word-association game. Bing Crosby. What did you think of? “White Christmas”? Bob Hope? Chances are some of you thought “child beater,” especially Gen Xers too young to have seen Bing in his prime but old enough to remember the tell-all books and SNL jokes. Richard Gere. Be honest…how many of you thought […]

  • The Week That Perished: Bid Farewell to a Ghetto Judge, as Nazis & Hunters Bury a Grudge

    David Cole - Jun 30th 2024 3:01pm EDT

    Oh man, am I gonna get a ton of unsubs this coming week! I have TWO July 4th-themed essays, which I’ll post Wednesday and Thursday. That’s on top of Tuesday’s regular column. Three things in a row? THREE pieces of FREE CONTENT in a ROW? UNTHUBTHCRIBE!!!!!!! It’s the woist atrocity evah! Keep in mind, any […]

  • This Week’s Column: The Right Slams Parents (Genius!)

    David Cole - Jun 25th 2024 3:33pm EDT

    This week’s column is a follow-up to my Alex Jones piece, and it’s inspired, yes, by one of YOU! I read all your comments and I try to respond to each one. Now keep in mind in July I start drinking again…I may not be as reliably “here” as I’ve been the past month. I’ll […]

  • Soft on Crime, Soft in the Head

    David Cole - Jun 25th 2024 12:00am EDT

    Following last week’s column on Alex Jones and his “boo-hoo the feds are after me” Crybaby Tour ’24, I heard from several readers (via my Substack) who slammed my sympathy for the parents who won the defamation suits (there were three lawsuits, in Texas and Connecticut). One example: If I was a parent of one […]

  • The Week That Perished

    David Cole - Jun 23rd 2024 1:15pm EDT

    In this week’s Week: Juneteenth bodies prone, Biden turns to stone. Gay traffic signs gone, give AIDS to that john! Bikini barista, iron fist like Batista. Immigrant cuisine, New Yorkers get mean. Tards and toughs brawl, at Walt Disney hall. https://www.takimag.com/article/the-week-that-perished-299/ Enjoy it? Buy the author a beer! Leave a comment Subscribe now Share

  • Alex Jones’ False Flag at Half-Staff

    David Cole - Jun 18th 2024 1:00pm EDT

    One of the sadder aspects of being banned from Twitter is that I can’t ridicule Holocaust deniers who post shit like this: Deniers just love pulling nonsense outta their asses. I’ve written at length about my parents and I’ve never said that even ONE of them was a “survivor” (my mom lived in Brooklyn during […]

  • Alex Jones: Man of the State

    David Cole - Jun 18th 2024 12:00am EDT

    With Alex Jones on a moany-moan “goodbye cruel world” tour, I thought I’d devote a couple of columns to that carbuncle on the ass of the internet as he faces the potential loss of his empire to pay off a civil judgment. Jones’ first stop on Boo-Hoo Tour ’24 was a chat with Tucker Carlson. […]

  • The Week That Perished? Unthubthcribe!

    David Cole - Jun 16th 2024 2:08pm EDT

    There was no “Friday exclusive content” last week, and I’ll add none today for The Week. Why? Because every time I post new content, I lose subscribers. Conversely, when I post nothing, I gain them…rapidly. You people do know that’s insane, right? You SIGN UP for free content, you RECEIVE it, then you UNTHUBTHCRIBE in […]

  • This Week’s Column: Calling Out the Speech Warriors

    David Cole - Jun 11th 2024 4:27pm EDT

    This week’s Substack “extra?” Me bitching. This is becoming the worst sober month EVER. Not because I’m “yearning for booze”…I never “yearn” for booze; I really can quit when I need to for my health. But WHEN I do a sober month, I like to take advantage of the two main benefits I get from […]

  • Fight to the Death for Death!

    David Cole - Jun 11th 2024 12:00am EDT

    Here’s a wacky anecdote for ya. April 30, 1998, 3:30 p.m. My girlfriend Sarah and I had just gotten back from lunch at Red Lobster (I’m not black, neither was she. But damn we loved fried fish), and she had to speed off to an audition for boobie bimbo No. 2 in Attack of the […]

  • A Special PRIDE MONTH Week That Perished!

    David Cole - Jun 9th 2024 3:58pm EDT

    From aching butts to bamboo huts, From blacks who eat shrimp to trannies rendered limp, From free dough for Daquan to Gazans gettin’ it on, This week’s Week has it all! (And as always, if you get a laugh or two, buy me a beer!) https://www.takimag.com/article/the-week-that-perished-297/ Leave a comment Subscribe now Share

  • Friday Fun Bag: Return of Ratibor?

    David Cole - Jun 7th 2024 4:45pm EDT

    Sober June is going just fine, thank you for asking. One week in. And I’ll admit, I’m feeling less “funny.” The world just ain’t as humorous when not viewed through the cockeyed lens of sweet mama booze. For example… NAZI RAGE So I’m watching the video that got neo-Nazi Holocaust denier (and Elon Musk’s personal […]

  • This Week’s Column

    David Cole - Jun 4th 2024 2:46pm EDT

    This week’s column was written a week ago, before I started my sober month and caught the shivery shivery shakes. So yes, I was downing rum as I penned it. No major extras this week, though. I’ll let the column speak for itself. Instead, here are a few pics of the young lady at the […]

  • Nazis in Moderation

    David Cole - Jun 4th 2024 12:00am EDT

    This week’s column will start self-indulgently and then brilliantly segue into something of greater import. Or so I’m telling myself as I down the rum. Last week a Twitter account—I won’t link to it; I’ll never give oxygen to trolls—said that the morning I was Twitter-banned I seemed “suicidal.” Which is absolutely idiotic. The morning […]

  • The Week That Perished…Plus a Funny(?) Anecdote

    David Cole - Jun 2nd 2024 2:43pm EDT

    This past Friday I once again didn’t post an original piece, but this time (in Don Corleone voice) I will give you my reasons. I’ve become a bad drunk. And by that I mean, I’ve stopped being good at it. I’m not the pro I used to be. I drank every day from June 2003 […]

  • This Week’s Column…Plus EXTRAS!

    David Cole - May 28th 2024 2:16pm EDT

    I hope you guys appreciate that for FREE you get these DAVE EXTRAS with every column. Ben Shapiro would paywall such things. But also, Ben Shapiro won’t eat crabs. Oh, he’ll GET crabs, but he won’t eat ‘em. My point being, BUY ME A BEER! So this week’s column is about my years in the […]

  • Casting My Eyes

    David Cole - May 28th 2024 2:04am EDT

    As I mentioned last week, I took a Substack poll regarding my readers’ preferred topics, and the top vote-getters were “scolding idiot rightists” and “musing about Hollywood.” So how’s about this week we do Hollywood? In 1986 my high school AP history teacher—the finest instructor I’ve ever known (I’d name her but she’s still alive, […]

  • A Week That Perished Worthy of Your 3-Day Weekend!

    David Cole - May 26th 2024 11:24am EDT

    A few of you noticed that I didn’t post anything last week. Well, regarding posting my reg’lar column, I hawked this Substack in that column and I got a bunch of new subs, so I figgered it would be pretty lame to hawk the Substack in a column, folks subscribe…only to get an email hawking […]

  • One Singular Gen-sation

    David Cole - May 21st 2024 2:45am EDT

    I hate the Holocaust. There, I’ve said it. Somebody had to. Funny thing is, nobody likes the Holocaust. Except maybe the folks at the ADL and Wiesenthal Center who’ve made a bundle off it. But for everyone else, the good (Jews who don’t profit from the murder of Jews), the bad (far-rightists like Elon’s favorite […]

  • This Week’s Week That Perished!

    David Cole - May 19th 2024 1:59pm EDT

    In this week’s Week, I take the opportunity to bring up something that’s genuinely flummoxed me over the years – why there’s never been a mass-shooting at a movie or TV studio. It makes no sense. Such shootings occur everywhere; there’s not a single type of location in America in which one hasn’t occurred. Except […]

  • Friday Fun Bag

    David Cole - May 17th 2024 12:08pm EDT

    In keeping with my pledge to send you three things a week (The Week That Perished on Sunday, my reg’lar column on Tuesday, and EXCLUSIVE CONTENT on Friday), here’s this Friday’s EXCLUSIVE CONTENT! We had ten unsubs last week, and I’ve gotten in the habit of emailing them just because I have so little amusement […]

  • Ron Unz Can Blow Me

    David Cole - May 14th 2024 2:26pm EDT

    A friend of mine who’s in “the biz” – indeed, a most exceptional writer – considers the opening sentence of a recent email I sent to Ron Unz the best opening of any email he’s ever read: Dear Ron, Hopefully this message finds you well and not overly exhausted by Cockney villagers chasing you with […]

  • Crushing Puppies, Crushing on Nazis!

    David Cole - May 14th 2024 12:00am EDT

    As my regular readers know, I don’t care for Ron Unz. And that’s putting it mildly. I consider him an open sore on the scrotum of the world, a tumor on life’s testicles. He’s the ’net’s No. 1 propagator of Holocaust denial, and he’s proud of it. He’s a professional fabricator, a polluter of historiography. […]

  • “David Cole is Eating His Dracula Cereal”

    David Cole - May 12th 2024 2:38pm EDT

    Okay. what part of “subscribe and you’ll get three things a week” was lost on you? I was clear as a Hawaiian waterfall – subscribe and you’ll get three emails a week: The Week That Perished on Sunday, my reg’lar column on Tuesday, and on Friday, something exclusive. Well, last week when The Week didn’t […]