News From David Cole, Page 3

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  • The Gentile/Jew Death-Tango

    David Cole - Aug 6th 2024 12:48am EDT

    Jacque Fresco is a man who requires no introduction. Wait…hold on…I screwed that up. Lemme start again. Jacque Fresco is a man who requires a lengthy fucking introduction. Because nobody knows who he is. And that’s the point. Fresco lived to be 101, and in that century-plus-one of life, he managed to accomplish nothing. Which […]

  • National Divorce? More Like Reality Divorce

    David Cole - Jul 30th 2024 12:00am EDT

    My regular readers know that sometimes I’ll take a roundabout route to get to my point. Dave’s Regular Readers: “Sometimes? You pull that shit every week.” Sorry, imaginary regular readers. You want me to be brief? Maybe you should’ve fought harder to keep me on Twitter like you do for Nazis like Lucas Gage. Because […]

  • In Case You Missed It…

    David Cole - Jul 25th 2024 5:18pm EDT

    I haven’t posted here in a week because I’m not kidding about that “spending the summer drunk off my ass” thing. Hell, I’m not even gonna proofread this post, because it’s 7am and I’m already plastered, but I’m sure that won’t lead to any embrassing erorrs. When I’m drunk I get ornery, and I have […]

  • Where’sTheBlood???

    David Cole - Jul 23rd 2024 12:00am EDT

    Ah, the best-laid plans of mice and untermenschen. This Jew is no happy concentration camper, as the Trump assassination attempt wrecked my summer of sleep. See, I hate summer. The weather, the bugs, the AC bills. So in June I hatched a plan: I’d go off the wagon, drink from July 1 through September, and […]

  • Gun Grabbers, Gun Gropers

    David Cole - Jul 16th 2024 2:46am EDT

    My columns are written four days before you read them. I’m not an “on the spot” reporter; I don’t do breaking news. If the Hindenburg were on fire, I wouldn’t be the whiny faggot screaming, “Oh, the humanity!” I’d be the bespectacled dumbass submitting a long-form essay “Transatlantic Zeppelins: Impeccable Record, Sound Investment.” My point […]

  • The Week That Perished: A Stankless Endeavor

    David Cole - Jul 14th 2024 7:15pm EDT

    I was almost not gonna post The Week today because obviously you’re all focused on the Trump shooting, plus anytime I post ANYTHING I get a dozen unsubs, plus I’m awash in liquor and will be until September (though to be frank I’m going at it so hard, I may not last that long). My […]

  • MAGA’s Malodorous Malintent

    David Cole - Jul 9th 2024 1:54am EDT

    Did I ever tell you about the time I found myself face down in a urine-soaked stairwell with a cop’s knee on my neck? It was 1991, and black L.A. was in its Boys n’ the Hood phase. Its last years before Three Strikes and gentrification would end black communities on the Westside and displacement […]

  • The Week That Perished: A Summer Bummer

    David Cole - Jul 7th 2024 2:07pm EDT

    Jesus, I am SUFFERING! I hope I never get ass cancer, because I have zero tolerance for uncomfortability. I HATE summer. I hate hot weather, and I hate bugs. “Hey Dave, why don’t you move to Flurrrda? It’s a RED STAYTE!” To repeat, I hate hot weather and I hate bugs. If I HAD to […]

  • Jaws V: The Continuity

    David Cole - Jul 3rd 2024 1:17pm EDT

    [NOTE: All I wanna do this month is drink heavily and not be bothered by shit. But last night two of you “liked” a comment that was very insulting toward me, and since Substack doesn’t allow a page owner to see who likes what – I can see “likes” but not who left ‘em – […]

  • SCOTUS Forces Me to Do Work

    David Cole - Jul 2nd 2024 3:53pm EDT

    I already had my column written for the SCOTUS J6 decision. I wrote it in April during oral arguments, because it was clear that the conservative justices were gonna side with the rioters. So I get all ready for Dave’s Drunk July thinkin’ I gots no work to do, but then the decision comes down […]

  • Suicidal SCOTUS Screwed You Suckers Good!

    David Cole - Jul 2nd 2024 1:50am EDT

    Let’s play a word-association game. Bing Crosby. What did you think of? “White Christmas”? Bob Hope? Chances are some of you thought “child beater,” especially Gen Xers too young to have seen Bing in his prime but old enough to remember the tell-all books and SNL jokes. Richard Gere. Be honest…how many of you thought […]

  • The Week That Perished: Bid Farewell to a Ghetto Judge, as Nazis & Hunters Bury a Grudge

    David Cole - Jun 30th 2024 3:01pm EDT

    Oh man, am I gonna get a ton of unsubs this coming week! I have TWO July 4th-themed essays, which I’ll post Wednesday and Thursday. That’s on top of Tuesday’s regular column. Three things in a row? THREE pieces of FREE CONTENT in a ROW? UNTHUBTHCRIBE!!!!!!! It’s the woist atrocity evah! Keep in mind, any […]

  • This Week’s Column: The Right Slams Parents (Genius!)

    David Cole - Jun 25th 2024 3:33pm EDT

    This week’s column is a follow-up to my Alex Jones piece, and it’s inspired, yes, by one of YOU! I read all your comments and I try to respond to each one. Now keep in mind in July I start drinking again…I may not be as reliably “here” as I’ve been the past month. I’ll […]

  • Soft on Crime, Soft in the Head

    David Cole - Jun 25th 2024 12:00am EDT

    Following last week’s column on Alex Jones and his “boo-hoo the feds are after me” Crybaby Tour ’24, I heard from several readers (via my Substack) who slammed my sympathy for the parents who won the defamation suits (there were three lawsuits, in Texas and Connecticut). One example: If I was a parent of one […]

  • The Week That Perished

    David Cole - Jun 23rd 2024 1:15pm EDT

    In this week’s Week: Juneteenth bodies prone, Biden turns to stone. Gay traffic signs gone, give AIDS to that john! Bikini barista, iron fist like Batista. Immigrant cuisine, New Yorkers get mean. Tards and toughs brawl, at Walt Disney hall. https://www.takimag.com/article/the-week-that-perished-299/ Enjoy it? Buy the author a beer! Leave a comment Subscribe now Share

  • Alex Jones’ False Flag at Half-Staff

    David Cole - Jun 18th 2024 1:00pm EDT

    One of the sadder aspects of being banned from Twitter is that I can’t ridicule Holocaust deniers who post shit like this: Deniers just love pulling nonsense outta their asses. I’ve written at length about my parents and I’ve never said that even ONE of them was a “survivor” (my mom lived in Brooklyn during […]

  • Alex Jones: Man of the State

    David Cole - Jun 18th 2024 12:00am EDT

    With Alex Jones on a moany-moan “goodbye cruel world” tour, I thought I’d devote a couple of columns to that carbuncle on the ass of the internet as he faces the potential loss of his empire to pay off a civil judgment. Jones’ first stop on Boo-Hoo Tour ’24 was a chat with Tucker Carlson. […]

  • The Week That Perished? Unthubthcribe!

    David Cole - Jun 16th 2024 2:08pm EDT

    There was no “Friday exclusive content” last week, and I’ll add none today for The Week. Why? Because every time I post new content, I lose subscribers. Conversely, when I post nothing, I gain them…rapidly. You people do know that’s insane, right? You SIGN UP for free content, you RECEIVE it, then you UNTHUBTHCRIBE in […]

  • This Week’s Column: Calling Out the Speech Warriors

    David Cole - Jun 11th 2024 4:27pm EDT

    This week’s Substack “extra?” Me bitching. This is becoming the worst sober month EVER. Not because I’m “yearning for booze”…I never “yearn” for booze; I really can quit when I need to for my health. But WHEN I do a sober month, I like to take advantage of the two main benefits I get from […]

  • Fight to the Death for Death!

    David Cole - Jun 11th 2024 12:00am EDT

    Here’s a wacky anecdote for ya. April 30, 1998, 3:30 p.m. My girlfriend Sarah and I had just gotten back from lunch at Red Lobster (I’m not black, neither was she. But damn we loved fried fish), and she had to speed off to an audition for boobie bimbo No. 2 in Attack of the […]

  • A Special PRIDE MONTH Week That Perished!

    David Cole - Jun 9th 2024 3:58pm EDT

    From aching butts to bamboo huts, From blacks who eat shrimp to trannies rendered limp, From free dough for Daquan to Gazans gettin’ it on, This week’s Week has it all! (And as always, if you get a laugh or two, buy me a beer!) https://www.takimag.com/article/the-week-that-perished-297/ Leave a comment Subscribe now Share

  • Friday Fun Bag: Return of Ratibor?

    David Cole - Jun 7th 2024 4:45pm EDT

    Sober June is going just fine, thank you for asking. One week in. And I’ll admit, I’m feeling less “funny.” The world just ain’t as humorous when not viewed through the cockeyed lens of sweet mama booze. For example… NAZI RAGE So I’m watching the video that got neo-Nazi Holocaust denier (and Elon Musk’s personal […]

  • This Week’s Column

    David Cole - Jun 4th 2024 2:46pm EDT

    This week’s column was written a week ago, before I started my sober month and caught the shivery shivery shakes. So yes, I was downing rum as I penned it. No major extras this week, though. I’ll let the column speak for itself. Instead, here are a few pics of the young lady at the […]

  • Nazis in Moderation

    David Cole - Jun 4th 2024 12:00am EDT

    This week’s column will start self-indulgently and then brilliantly segue into something of greater import. Or so I’m telling myself as I down the rum. Last week a Twitter account—I won’t link to it; I’ll never give oxygen to trolls—said that the morning I was Twitter-banned I seemed “suicidal.” Which is absolutely idiotic. The morning […]

  • The Week That Perished…Plus a Funny(?) Anecdote

    David Cole - Jun 2nd 2024 2:43pm EDT

    This past Friday I once again didn’t post an original piece, but this time (in Don Corleone voice) I will give you my reasons. I’ve become a bad drunk. And by that I mean, I’ve stopped being good at it. I’m not the pro I used to be. I drank every day from June 2003 […]