News From David Cole, Page 5
“Screw the Jews” Might Bring Bad News
David Cole - Jan 16th 2024 12:00am ESTLast week we talked about overcorrection. This week, let’s see how the right’s gonna use that shotgun to blow off its remaining toes. As I pointed out last year, the GOP goes into 2024 with several strikes against it, at a time when, under different circumstances, the election would be a cinch considering the massive […]
The Putz and the Pendulum
David Cole - Jan 9th 2024 12:00am ESTMy 2023 word of the year was “intractable”—problems that aren’t going away. Dysgenic black America, the Israel/Palestinian conflict. Every proposed “final solution” is a fantasy (“national divorce!” “White homeland!” “Two-State!” “From the river to the sea!”). So now I present 2024’s word of the year: overcorrection. In short, overcorrection is when something requires remedy, but […]
Year-End Cleanup, Part II
David Cole - Jan 2nd 2024 12:00am ESTAs we ring in 2024, here’s Part II of my annual “bits that didn’t merit a full column but I still want to get them off my chest” year-end rant. Santos and Sinners A prediction: George Santos will become the J6 of 2024. Rightists will once again allow themselves to be maneuvered into not just […]
Year-End Cleanup, Part I
David Cole - Dec 26th 2023 2:15am ESTI usually take it easy on myself for my Christmas and New Year’s pieces by penning less labor-intensive columns. In part because I love the season too much to get bogged down by weighty matters, and in part because I assume that my readers are too busy with family and friends to want anything heavy. […]
A New Yuletide Tradition
David Cole - Dec 23rd 2023 4:25pm ESTRead The Week That Perished and subscribe to Takimag! Buy me a beer! Merry Christmas! Leave a comment Subscribe now
Calvin and Hobbled
David Cole - Dec 19th 2023 4:58am ESTHere’s a little secret regarding opinion pieces: It’s all about “angle.” You look at something in the news, and you find an interesting angle for your readers. Case in point: the recent L.A. freeway fire that crippled the I-10 Downtown. As there’d been a homeless encampment under that stretch, the angle for conservatives was obvious: […]
Oh Sadist, Can You See
David Cole - Dec 12th 2023 12:00am ESTAt Christmastime, I tend to gravitate toward lighter topics. Because why befoul such a wondrous season with ugliness? So on a lighter note, last week a BBC Kelsey Grammer interview went off the rails after the Frasier star was asked if he supports Donald Trump. Grammer said yes and then tried to redirect the interview […]
‘Tis the Season…for Dave
David Cole - Dec 4th 2023 2:06pm ESTHAPPY DECEMBER! Here’s a new video. And I know…roughly 20 of you right now are saying “What? WHAT? The free content Substack I voluntarily subscribed to of my own volition is posting new free content? This shall not stand! I must UNSUBSCRIBE, as I am incurably retarded and do not understand the cause and effect […]
The Right’s Derek Chauvinism
David Cole - Nov 28th 2023 12:00am ESTQuick quiz: Who was Jerry Parr? Don’t Google it, that’s cheating! Without looking it up, do you know who he was? Odds are, you don’t. Jerry Parr was the Secret Service agent in charge of protecting Ronald Reagan on the day he was shot in 1981. When the gunfire began, Parr pushed Reagan into the […]
Sieg Nile! The Nazi/Muslim Question
David Cole - Nov 21st 2023 12:57am ESTI love it when the world catches up to Dave! Last week proved that my favorite obsessions can go mainstream (I look forward to the day when my newest fetish, “Never leave the house and drink yourself to death,” becomes what all the cool kids do). Two separate videos, both relating to Israel/Gaza, went viral. […]
Bunny Dreams and Abortion Nightmares
David Cole - Nov 14th 2023 3:52am ESTThis week—a lesson from a “bunny.” You’re likely familiar with Twitchy, rightist aggregator of the left’s wild and wackiest tweets. Twitchy was founded by Old Granny Malkin (ever since Michelle Malkin tried to preserve her faded youth and relevance by hooking up with child Nazis, I can’t think of her without seeing the “let’s haul […]
The Abyss Gazas Back
David Cole - Nov 6th 2023 11:52pm ESTEnough with Gaza. I’ve done three columns in a row on Oygenflaygin vs. Akbar, and that’s plenty. If there’s one thing I despise about opinion columnists, it’s the fetish of covering the daily “big thing.” So this week’s column will be an in-depth examination of why the “Angels of Death” episode of the 1970s British […]
Halloween Bonus – The SPOOKIEST Film Ever Made!
David Cole - Oct 31st 2023 5:21pm EDTHappy Halloween! If you’re looking for something spook-spook-spookifying to watch tonight, have I got a treat for you! In 2010 I had the honor of participating in the full restoration of Thomas Edison’s 1910 15-minute silent film masterpiece “Frankenstein.” To mark the movie’s centennial, we restored it with Edison’s original title cards. This is the […]
Wailing (at a) Wall
David Cole - Oct 31st 2023 11:52am EDTI’ve no next of kin. When I die, I have no idea what’s gonna happen to my house. Not that I don’t have a plan: After I stroke out on my bedroom floor, my corpse will putrefy and the stank will be absorbed into the floorboards, so when Persians buy my house for a song, […]
A Hard-Drinkin’ Hebe’s Halloween Hijinks!
David Cole - Oct 30th 2023 3:25pm EDTOkay, get ready to UNSUBSCRIBE because the free content account you signed up for is posting free content. UNTHUBTHCRIBE! UNTHUBTHCRIBE! Or, watch the video. Lord knows I don’t make money from this shit, so either way, it don’t bother me none. Speaking of which, BUY ME A BEER. BUY ME A BEER! Leave a comment […]
White Knighting for Middle East Unsalvageables
David Cole - Oct 24th 2023 12:01am EDTSo there used to be a self-described “gay Nazi chef” in Sacramento named Walter Mueller (or as I called him, Emeril Lagassechamber). Back in 2003, during my year off from life as I lived by the beach and did nothing but swim all day and drink all night, I’d monitor his website (out of boredom, […]
Even Daves Get the Blues
David Cole - Oct 20th 2023 1:33pm EDT
Revenge of the Goy Golems
David Cole - Oct 17th 2023 4:12am EDTTold ya. From the beginning of the “Groyper movement” and the ascension of Nick Fuentes’ Nazibois, I’ve been warning rightists to be wary of those loons. My advice was rejected. Many times I had private convos with well-known MAGAs who told me, “Look, I know these guys are wacky when it comes to Jews, and […]
1Sleuth and Consequences
David Cole - Oct 10th 2023 12:00am EDTRegular readers know how much I detest rightist “sleuths.” As I wrote in 2020 (in a column Tucker Carlson got in trouble for sharing), “sleuthing” is the opposite of noticing. Noticing means acknowledging reality; sleuthing means promoting fantasy. As I said in the piece, “noticing assures voters ‘I see what you see.’ Sleuthing scolds them, […]
Yay, Halloween! Oy Vey, Auction!
David Cole - Oct 5th 2023 4:06pm EDTOl’ Dave always loses around a dozen subs the ONE TIME A MONTH he posts. So for those of you who are already screeching “What? I signed up for free content and now I’m getting it? I must UNSUBSCRIBE AT ONCE!” go ahead and do it. 95% of my readers are the smartest folks on […]
Rise of the Self-Tarded
David Cole - Oct 3rd 2023 12:00am EDTGunnery Sergeant Hartman voice: “I have failed.” I have failed to beat sense into the Gomer Pyles of MAGA regarding Beverly Hills. I’ve shown election data. I’ve shown electoral maps. All to counter the patently false notion that BH is a leftist bastion. I’ve even tried appealing to MAGA self-interest, pointing out that north BH […]
GOP Jonahs Swallowed by Giant Bass
David Cole - Sep 26th 2023 12:41am EDTThe threat to men’s lives had him in a rage. A leader such as that would command fanatic loyalty. He would be difficult to defeat. Against his own will and all previous judgments, Kynes admitted to himself: I like this Duke. That’s from Frank Herbert’s Dune, and for those of you who don’t know the […]
The Hard Stuff
David Cole - Sep 19th 2023 4:12am EDTI’m gonna start by talking about the porn girl I lived with, then segue into the actors’ strike and end on politics. Yep, ol’ Dave will deftly manipulate three balls at once. So, speaking of porn… For me, two years of living with a porn star were more than enough. Actually, one was more than […]
Meet the Foggers
David Cole - Sep 12th 2023 12:00am EDTThis’ll be the final entry in my “Fog Trilogy”; totally different topic next week, I promise! Last week’s column was about how/why rightists “fog themselves.” This week, let’s examine the professional foggers—the rightist superstars who get paid to fog. When people wonder why I’m always so hard on Ronny Unz, it’s because I find nothing […]
Go Fog Yourself
David Cole - Sep 5th 2023 12:00am EDTThis is a sequel-in-spirit to last week’s piece about rightist “fog.” In a recent column I mentioned a Ron Unz contradiction regarding the Holocaust. In his “landmark” 17,600-word Holocaust denial essay, Unz wrote that Jews never made a big deal about the Holocaust until the 1970s (when “everyone involved in the war was dead so […]
