Biden is warning of a coming nuclear apocalypse, but don’t worry! A thermonuclear war that wipes out most life on the planet wouldn’t be all bad! Let’s look at the bright side, shall we?
WASHINGTON, D.C. — The Select Committee to Investigate the January 6th Attack on the United States Capitol™ may have stopped broadcasting on prime-time television, but sources reveal the committee is alive and well behind closed doors with an audience of stuffed animals and action figures they arranged in chairs.
U.S. — With inflation and consumer prices climbing faster than ever, Christians around the country are finding it easier than ever to stop storing up treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy, and where thieves break in and steal.
DEARBORN, MI — After hundreds of Muslim parents attended a school board meeting to protest pornographic material in elementary school libraries, the DOJ and FBI leaped into action to make sure all parents in attendance were added to the No-Fly List.
BRUSSELS — Despite the uproar caused by revelations at a European Union hearing that the pharmaceutical giant rushed the COVID-19 vaccine out into use without testing it for preventing transmission, Pfizer executives were quick to backtrack and point out that they did, in fact, test the vaccine — on over five billion people. Powered by […]
PHILADELPHIA, PA — In his first TV interview since suffering a stroke earlier this year, Democratic candidate John Fetterman was asked if he still possessed the mental ability to serve as a United States Senator. Fetterman responded with an unequivocal “yes,” which he communicated with two eye-blinks, which is said to mean “yes.” Powered by […]
WASHINGTON, D.C — In a recent interview with CNN’s Jake Tapper, President Biden sat down to assure the nation that while a nuclear war is likely on the way, it will only be a “very slight.”
SANTA ROSA, CA — Tragedy struck the sporting world when an entire professional soccer team was killed after the team bus glided ever so slightly over a minuscule speedbump at 0.5 mph.
PHILADELPHIA, PA — Despite both candidates facing issues with voter enthusiasm, the race for the open senate seat in Pennsylvania has narrowed in recent weeks. Polling was showing Dr. Mehmet Oz catching up to John Fetterman until a head of cabbage entered the race and exceeded both candidates in popularity.
WASHINGTON, D.C. — A New York-based group of paranormal investigators known for hunting and trapping ghosts is now coming under fire from Democrats for voter intimidation.
FREDERICKSONBURGVILLE, SC — “Sometimes – sometimes I just wish I could go back.” Greg Fellman looks out the window as the morning drizzle slowly comes down, blanketing the grass with a gray sheen. He’s 37 years old. He has a wife and kids and a steady career; by all accounts, he’s been successful in life. […]
ISRAEL — Biblical scholars have at last uncovered a missing verse from the end of the book of Leviticus that reads: ‘So Anyway, All That To Say, Here’s A Killer Oatmeal Cookie Recipe’. Scholars now believe that this new verse puts the rest of the book into perspective as a lengthy buildup to how to […]
Hey, friend! I see you were just using evacuating your bowels — not that I was watching — so step right up and wash your hands. All you need to do is wave your hand and I’ll dispense some soap for you.
WASHINGTON, DC — Drawing great inspiration from his brief interview with rap artist and fashion designer Ye West, popular conservative political talk show host Tucker Carlson is preparing to release his first rap album.
Last week, PayPal released an “Acceptable Use Policy” that included a $2,500 fine for people who use their service involving “the sending, posting, or publication of any messages, content, or materials that…promote misinformation.” We scoured the rest of PayPal’s AUP and Terms Of Service, and you might be surprised at what else can incur a […]
WASHINGTON, D.C. — 2020 Democratic presidential candidate Tulsi Gabbard caused ripples in American politics Monday with the announcement that she is leaving the Democratic party. With this news, the title of hottest Democrat goes back to Nancy Pelosi.
SPOKANE, WA — During a powerful Sunday sermon delivered by her pastor, a local woman has come under deep spiritual conviction that her husband really needs to repent of his sins.
WASHINGTON, DC — In a speech given to a vast crowd of twelve, President Joe Biden officially declared “Make America Great Again” to be the three most dangerous words in the world.
Halloween can be an awkward time for some Christians who are worried about being accused of demonic activities for dressing up in silly costumes. That’s why we’ve put together a definitive church-approved costume guide!
WASHINGTON, D.C. — On the heels of President Biden announcing the release of those imprisoned for non-violent marijuana offenses, Kamala Harris is demanding answers on who locked all those people up in the first place.
LINCOLN, NE — Local Woman Francine Guacmeister faked another headache after her husband Allen suggested going up to the bedroom for a romantic night of watching the Lord of the Rings Motion Picture Trilogy: Extended Edition.
Pumpkin spice addiction is no joke. Experts agree that overdosing on the devilish concoction is the leading cause of death during the fall season. Stay vigilant and keep an eye out for these warning signs:
QUEENS, NY — After Sunday evening’s blowout loss to the Padres, Mets manager Buck Showalter held a press conference in which he complained that their team faces “an unfair disadvantage by virtue of the fact that our organization is much, much worse than all the other teams.”
- Aug 9th 2025 5:17pm EDT