U.S. — What had been a joyous holiday threatened to be thrown into panic, as urgent reports began trickling in that, despite her repeated statements to the contrary over the last month, your wife actually did want something for Christmas.
KNOXVILLE, TN — It’s that time of year again, when astrophysicist Neil DeGrasse Tyson renews his annual tradition of going down people’s chimneys to tell their kids that Santa isn’t real.
KNOXVILLE, TN — It’s that time of year again, when astrophysicist Neil DeGrasse Tyson renews his annual tradition of going down people’s chimneys to tell their kids that Santa isn’t real.
ANCHORAGE, AK — A military spokesman confirmed Wednesday that Russian forces launched a successful sneak attack on Alaska while everyone at North American Aerospace Defense Command (NORAD) was busy tracking Santa’s sleigh.
ANCHORAGE, AK — A military spokesman confirmed Wednesday that Russian forces launched a successful sneak attack on Alaska while everyone at North American Aerospace Defense Command (NORAD) was busy tracking Santa’s sleigh.
GREENVILLE, SC — Local woman Ashlynn Bagley began to suspect that her husband did all his Christmas shopping yesterday after she opened a present containing a can of Dinty Moore beef stew.
SPEARVILLE, KS — By the time his family woke up Tuesday morning, it had become clear to everyone that family patriarch Josh Billings had already lived seven full lifetimes.
WASHINGTON, D.C. — After the latest batch of Epstein files was released by the Department of Justice, it has become evident to everyone that Jeffrey Epstein, along with being a vile sex trafficker, had some sick fetish for girls with giant black square heads.
RANCHO CUCAMONGA, CA — According to sources, local man Mark Hunter still doesn’t quite trust any product that lacks the Official Nintendo Seal of Quality.
The curtain had not yet fallen on Turning Point USA’s AmFest 2025 before rumors swirled about how they were going to top it next year. How do you follow up such a wild show?
It goes without saying that Christians in America have it harder than anyone else, but the persecution always seems to get even worse during the Christmas season. Need proof? Look no further.
It goes without saying that Christians in America have it harder than anyone else, but the persecution always seems to get even worse during the Christmas season. Need proof? Look no further.
PHOENIX, AZ — Following her surprising appearance onstage with Erika Kirk at Turning Point USA’s AmFest, rapper Nicki Minaj revealed that her hit song “Anaconda” was actually about how the federal government needs to reduce deficit spending.
PHOENIX, AZ — Following her surprising appearance onstage with Erika Kirk at Turning Point USA’s AmFest, rapper Nicki Minaj revealed that her hit song “Anaconda” was actually about how the federal government needs to reduce deficit spending.
BLUFFTON, IN — Local man Mark Connors wouldn’t describe himself as ungrateful so much as surprised to learn that, as an adult, Christmas didn’t involve more cars with giant bows on them waiting outside.
BLUFFTON, IN — Local man Mark Connors wouldn’t describe himself as ungrateful so much as surprised to learn that, as an adult, Christmas didn’t involve more cars with giant bows on them waiting outside.
BEVERLY HILLS, CA — According to sources, locals noticed a local man driving an electric car down Rodeo Drive and blasting Nicki Minaj out of his open windows – clearly outing himself as a Right-winger.
BEVERLY HILLS, CA — According to sources, locals noticed a local man driving an electric car down Rodeo Drive and blasting Nicki Minaj out of his open windows – clearly outing himself as a Right-winger.
The Babylon Bee has scoured through the thousands of pages of newly released Epstein documents to uncover all of the photos that don’t include former President Bill Clinton. Here they are, in chronological order:
SANTA FE, NM — After honking and swearing at a slow-moving car this morning, Marcus Nabors watched in horror as the car slowly turned its way into the parking lot of Nabors’ church.
- Aug 9th 2025 5:17pm EDT