BURBANK, CA — In an effort to win back disgruntled fans, Disney executives announced a brand-new Star Wars film trilogy centered entirely around Jar Jar Binks, one of the most popular characters in the franchise.
U.S. — Several companies across the U.S. posting special Pride Month versions of their logos on social media were apparently unaware that Donald Trump is currently president.
WASHINGTON, D.C. — After seeing carefully negotiated ceasefires between the U.S. and Iran and Israel and Hezbollah fail to bring about lasting peace in the troubled region, President Donald Trump was reportedly shocked to learn that genocidal jihadists often don’t negotiate in good faith.
NEW YORK, NY — For the month of June, episodes of Sesame Street will now be preceded by a warning indicating that the show is no longer suitable for children, Sesame Workshop announced on Tuesday.
AUGUSTA, ME — While Republicans continued working overtime to smear Senate candidate Graham Platner because of all the awful things he is and does, Platner had enough and decided to fight back.
It’s Pride Month again, making this the perfect time of year to see what inspirational passages can be found in God’s Word that pertain to the subject.
AGOURA HILLS, CA — Officials working on new construction in California were surprised to learn that their own state, which was struggling to build a bridge for butterflies over the course of four years at a cost of over $100 million, had apparently once developed and built the P-51 Mustang in just 102 days.
SAN BERNARDINO, CA — An attack ad against a Republican candidate reportedly had the opposite effect when it convinced a local man to vote for the Republican.
WASHINGTON, D.C. — In an unusual gesture across a prominent social divide, President Donald Trump took the official step of recognizing Pride Month this year by hosting a soccer match right on the White House lawn.
BURBANK, CA — Following a precipitous fall at the box office for The Mandalorian and Grogu, reports circulated that Disney executives called an urgent meeting with Lucasfilm to come up with a plan to revive the floundering Star Wars franchise so they could kill it again.
U.S. — One of the country’s most heavily scrutinized Senate races was thrown into chaos over the weekend, as the nation was shocked to learn that a candidate with a Nazi tattoo turned out to be a total scumbag.
COLUMBIA, SC — Watching in awe as Blue Origin’s New Glenn rocket exploded in spectacular fashion, local man Dennis Rogers was glad to finally see what his wife’s Amazon purchases had funded.
OKLAHOMA CITY, OK — In a touching ceremony, basketball legend LeBron James finally passed the official “King of Flops” crown on to the Oklahoma City Thunder’s Shai Gilgeous-Alexander.
WASHINGTON, D.C. — Washington Democrats condemned President Donald Trump this week for “violating the sanctity of the White House” by daring to host a professional MMA fight on the same hallowed grounds where Biden once welcomed topless trannies.
Senatorial candidate James Talarico is taking the world by storm thanks to his no-nonsense approach to compromising on Christianity. Now, with the new James Talarico Bible translation, you can wield the Word of God with just as much inaccuracy.
U.S. — Former journalist Megyn Kelly announced on her podcast today that listeners could now save 20% on products from sponsor Brooklyn Bedding by using the promo code “ALLAHUAKBAR.”
WASHINGTON D.C. — With Americans struggling as gasoline costs continue to soar, Congress assured citizens that it remained laser-focused on fixing the issues with the NCAA transfer portal.
KASHYYYK — A therapist working with famed Star Wars icon Chewbacca told his colleagues this week that he was trying to teach the Wookiee how to deal with his anger issues in more constructive ways that don’t involve ripping people’s arms off. Dr. Aris Thorne, a licensed galactic psychotherapist, confirmed on Friday that he had […]
