MINNEAPOLIS, MN — According to sources, Congresswoman Ilhan Omar gently broke the news to her brother, Ahmed Nur Said Elmi, that it was time for them to start seeing other siblings.
SPACE — The crew of the USS Enterprise made a surprising discovery after landing on yet another planet that looked shockingly like the landscape of Southern California.
WASHINGTON, D.C. — With allegations of money laundering in Minnesota and other states growing by the day, Republican lawmakers in Washington have vowed to uncover all Somali fraud in Minnesota and then do nothing about it except to fundraise for future elections.
Before you sign your kids up for a daycare in Minnesota, it’s always important to first check if it’s a Somali front for defrauding the government. Here are eight signs to be on the lookout for:
Before you sign your kids up for a daycare in Minnesota, it’s always important to first check if it’s a Somali front for defrauding the government. Here are eight signs to be on the lookout for:
U.S. — One young student athlete’s years of hard work were finally set to pay off, as a college football player prepared to achieve his lifelong dream of playing in the Duke’s Mayo Bowl brought to you by Duke’s Mayo.
MINNEAPOLIS, MN — Democratic Lieutenant Governor Peggy Flanagan donned a full hijab for a press conference where she warned that conservatives want to force women into Handmaid’s Tale outfits.
It’s the end of December, which means people all over the world are making their lists of New Year’s resolutions for 2026 — and President Donald Trump is no different.
MINNEAPOLIS, MN — Local factory worker Hector Flintstock has been working hard, following the law, saving money, and paying taxes for 50 years, and is finally able to achieve his lifelong retirement dream of funding a fraudulent Somali daycare center.
HAMPTON, NH — As millions resolve to briefly get back in shape, Planet Fitness announced a convenient new two-week gym membership just in time for the New Year’s holiday.
ST. PAUL, MN — In response to growing allegations of fraud tied to Minnesota’s Somali community, Governor Tim Walz announced he had awarded an $8 billion grant to a Somali company to find the perpetrators.
ST. PAUL, MN — In response to growing allegations of fraud tied to Minnesota’s Somali community, Governor Tim Walz announced he had awarded an $8 billion grant to a Somali company to find the perpetrators.
U.S. — In a brand new Benny Johnson video, media personality Benny Johnson reacts to a Benny Johnson video where he reacts to an older Benny Johnson tweet about a Benny Johnson video.’
As we close out 2025, the time has come to announce the greatest of all awards, that prize far more coveted than a mere Nobel Prize or Oscar. After hours of intense debate, countless votes, and the sacking of two employees, we are now ready to reveal The Babylon Bee’s Persons of the Year:
We at The Babylon Bee would like to let Governor Tim Walz know that we are now a fully functioning daycare in Minnesota serving literally millions of children.
U.S. — What had been a joyous holiday threatened to be thrown into panic, as urgent reports began trickling in that, despite her repeated statements to the contrary over the last month, your wife actually did want something for Christmas.
U.S. — What had been a joyous holiday threatened to be thrown into panic, as urgent reports began trickling in that, despite her repeated statements to the contrary over the last month, your wife actually did want something for Christmas.
KNOXVILLE, TN — It’s that time of year again, when astrophysicist Neil DeGrasse Tyson renews his annual tradition of going down people’s chimneys to tell their kids that Santa isn’t real.
KNOXVILLE, TN — It’s that time of year again, when astrophysicist Neil DeGrasse Tyson renews his annual tradition of going down people’s chimneys to tell their kids that Santa isn’t real.
ANCHORAGE, AK — A military spokesman confirmed Wednesday that Russian forces launched a successful sneak attack on Alaska while everyone at North American Aerospace Defense Command (NORAD) was busy tracking Santa’s sleigh.
ANCHORAGE, AK — A military spokesman confirmed Wednesday that Russian forces launched a successful sneak attack on Alaska while everyone at North American Aerospace Defense Command (NORAD) was busy tracking Santa’s sleigh.
- Aug 9th 2025 5:17pm EDT